Coyote Ugly

Why don't you, like,|ever realize the truth, Vince?

I ate nine pies and a meatball hero|in one hour. That's a record.

It wasn't nine pies.|It was eight.

You left two slices of mushroom|on the last tray.

- Violet?|- You guys, it was six pies. No hero.

I had to call the paramedics|to pump your stomach, and it was three and a half years ago.

When are you guys gonna talk|about something else?

When someone comes through|that door and breaks the record,

then we'll stop talkin'|about the subject.

Enjoy your pie, guys.

- It's the last one I'll ever serve.|- Aren't you forgetting something?

Quit it, Pete.|I'm not doin' that.

It's a tradition.|Sign the card.

I got it, folks.|I got the first autograph.

- Hey, Violet. All right!|- Violet's on her way to the wall.

That's 20 years|of girls leaving town.

That wall is jinxed.|I won't sit near that wall.

Let's hope you have better luck|than they did.

- Ladies and gentlemen.

As you all know, my best friend,|Violet Sanford,

has decided--

has decided to leave|South Amboy tomorrow...

and travel the 42 miles|to New York City.

So-- Okay, come on.|Bring her up here, girls.

- Come on, Violet.

Come on, Vi.|Come on, everyone.

Hey, Violet, come on.|Come up here.

- Come on, honey.|- You guys!

Now, I think it's only fair|that tonight, on her last night with us in Jersey,

she grace us|with a little tune.

No way!

At first I was afraid I was petrified

live without you by my side

thinking how you did me wrong

and I knew how to get along

No, not I

I will survive

I know how to love I know I'll be alive

I got all my love to give

I will survive

Look at this!

Four people killed last night|in New York.

No reason at all.

Police have no leads.

- Tragic.|- Dad, what're you doin?

I guess four out|of seven million ain't so bad.

Headlines should read,|"Millions Survive Night in New York."

Dad, stop. I get the point.|Here. Eatyour eggs.

They're not eggs. They're egg whites.|And I'd rather eat the carton.

You've already lost six pounds.|You're staying on this diet. No fast food. No sausage.

Oh, and I bought you some|of those Lean Cuisine meals, and I put 'em in the freezer.

- My mouth is watering already.|- And I lined your vitamins up on the counter.

- I don't take vitamins.|- You do now. Just take them.

Oh, and I put fresh batteries|in the TV remote and set the V.C.R. timer so--

Excuse me. Excuse me.|Am I missing something here?

I'm the parent. You're the child|running away to live by herself.

I should be tellin' you|how to live.

Fine. How should I live?

- Simple. Don't go.

I got that Irish Spring you like.|Oh. And Dad, what ever you do--

- Don't do the laundry.|- Don't do the laundry.

Just leave it by the dryer and I'll|do it when I come home every Sunday.

Ah, this is interesting.

They say the handrails|on the subway system could one day lead to an outbreak of plague.

Dad. Look.

You said I could be|whatever I wanna be.

I never said songwriter|in New York City. That's the exception.

You said anything,|and I believed you, so--

I'm not leavin' this house|without your support.

- That's Gloria. What's it gonna be?

Violet, I saw how hard it was|for your mother when she didn't make it.

But if she was here,|she'd tell me to shutup,

wish you luck|and give you a big hug.

I'm not gonna give you a big hug,|and I'm not gonna wish you luck, but...

I am gonna shut up, sit here|with my coffee and pretend to be mad.

Is that okay?

This is the last of it.

- Honey, are you okay with that?|- Yeah, I got it.

I got it. Wait.

Allright.|That's everything.

- Let's hit it.|- Good luck.

There, I said it.

- Love you.|- Put some pepper spray in your purse. Even if you're not sure.

Just start spraying.

You know, you're not alone,|Mr. Sanford.

Hey, you know, me and you|should have dinner sometime.

I'm lockin' the doors.

I was petrified

live without you by myside

Oh, no, not I

I will survive

I knowI'll be alive

I've got all my love to give

I will survive

I will survive

All right.|This is it.

What do you think?

I had a feeling|you were gonna need this.

- What are you doing?|- What? It's just some emergency cash I saved up.

Honey, from the looks of this place,|I'd say this is our emergency.

Well, I'm not takin' it.

Fine, then.

I'm freezing your assets.

So, thanks|for everything.

- I'll call ya.

What is this?

It's just that all our lives,|you know, we always had one thing in common, you and me.

What are you talking about?

It's like, you know we said|we wouldn't lose our virginity...

until we got married,|and that didn't happen.

And then we said we'd go to|college or junior college...

or dental hygienist school,|you know.

And that didn't happen.

We've never followed through|on a single thing, you know.

And I think that's|what makes us so special.

And this is why you're ctying?

Well...

a long time ago you told me|that you were gonna move to New York.

But everyone thought you'd just|stay in Jersey and get married like me and Danny are gonna.

You know. And-- And look at you.

No matter what,|you really did it right,

and I'm so proud of you.

Enough! You hear me?

You be quiet! Enough in there!

alone in the night

hear I'm wrong when I'm right

And I don't like to

Have the rain on my shoe

Hi. I'm Violet Sanford.|I just recently moved to New York,

and I was wondering|if you would give my tape to one of your artists.

Violet, that is so cute.

Now, let me tell you about me.|My name is Wendy, and I first moved to New York...

when I was 21 to be a dancer,|but I broke my big toe.

And then I got knocked up|by this actor who dumped me to join the Peace Corps.

So for the last 16 years|I been raisin' my daughter all by myself.

And then two weeks ago|she tells me that she is a bisexual...

and that she hates me more|than any person on this planet.

Now, tell me how I can|help you, please,

because I am dying|to make your dreams come true.

You don't take the tape|unless it comes from an agent,

but I can't get an agent|until I get published?

If we were to listen to that tape,|that would give you grounds...

for a copyright|or plagiarism lawsuit.

It's just a little tape.|All I want is someone to sing my songs.

Welcome to the music business.

- Good evening. I.D., please.|- Hi. Uh, sure.

Maybe

back some day

- What can I get you?|- Let me ask you something.

I'm a songwriter. Is there someone|here I could talk to about my songs?

I've been a struggling|sax player for 12 years.

- What can I get you from the bar?|- Pepsi and some crackers.

- Hey. How are you doing?

out there

Excuse me.|Who's that guy?

That would be Mr. O'Donnell.

Mr. O'Donnell.|He's the manager or something?

Yeah. He's the music manager.|He's in charge of finding bands and...

booking new talent.

Run away with my heart

Run away with my hope

Hey, where the hell were you,|O'Donnell?

I got 15 orders stacked up here|and nobody to run the grill.

Fifteen orders, Walt.|Is that all?

Gimme ten minutes,|I'll catch us up. Go on. Lie down.

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