Crazy Love

Ma?

Why'd you marry Dad?

He was one of my brother's friends;

one day he just asked me

That's it?

That's it

Nothing else happened?

Really?

No

I don't believe you.

You're leaving something out

- Like what?

- He had to fight for you

- He was a fighter, all right

- And he kidnapped you

Didn't he?

Yes

Then what happened?

Then he took me to a hut

up in the mountains

I was a prisoner there

for three days

Were you scared?

Oh, Yes.

He was so strong

Then?

Then he took me

to the top of the mountain

To show me the world

He said:

All that belongs to you and me

And then he kissed me so hard,

I can still feel it

Just like a film

Better... Much better

And the tits of Mary Cobb

have each one got a knob

To play with,

to play with...

I got a present...

From the boys at work

I got something, too

What?

Later

So?

She's still got all her clothes on

She's a princess.

They always dress in white

And the prince had to fight

for her first

Then he was allowed to marry her

You believe that crap?

Yes

Want to know

why grown-ups get married?

So they can f***

You know what that is, f***ing?

Not really

Don't know much, do you?

- That's what grown-ups do?

- If they're not fighting

Your parents do it, too

Look

That's your mother

And that's your father

And that's f***ing

Like to try it?

Listen

To f*** well,

you have to learn to kiss well

I know how to kiss

With your tongue?

That's kissing...

And here's where you learn it

Don't worry.

I've scored here loads of times

You're lucky. That's Kathy,

she's the hottest of them all

Go and sit next to her,

or someone else will get her

- Look at her teeth!

- Then look at her legs

Don't tell me

you blew a chance like that!

I didn't know what to do

And now, ladies and gentlemen!

The most beautiful women in the world

Step right up! Step right up!

And let me introduce you

to Tiger Rita!

And right here the one and only

Eva Pavlova, the terror of Warsaw!

See their breasts?

They're topped with nipples

When you rub them,

they get stiff

And when they get stiff,

you know you're in business. Got it?

Here, this'll make you feel better

I never saw a woman like that before

- Beautiful...

- No, hot!

If anyone can teach you,

it's her...

What a woman!

Come on. Now you'll see

what f***ing is

Mummy! Can we go?

- Play some more. Here

- No...

The ginger one is Theo.

He's in my class

Didn't know his mother was like that

- Can I come?

- Of course not...

Bloody hell!

That ginger bastard

I thought they were really

going to do it

Right in front of us

That'd have been worth seeing

Know where Ginger lives?

Yes, but I've never been there

Then it's time we went there to play

Tomorrow

You sure it's here?

Yes

What a woman

Theo?

I never saw a woman

like that before

- I'm horny as a rabbit

- Me, too

I need to cool down

That's better

I need some water too

This may be your big day, kid

I can't

Don't be scared.

She's blind drunk

She won't wake up

What shall I do?

Remember what that bloke

at the fair did to her?

Do the same as him

Go on

- She smells good

- Because she's horny

Lie down on top of her.

Lie down

I still haven't done it

I'll show you something

that'll make you feel better

Watch now

But make sure

you don't do it too often

You might get a crooked back

Or go crazy

Ma, dad didn't kidnap you, did he?

No

Why did you lie to me?

Because you're so young

Everything is ugly

No. There are many beautiful things

in life, son

Go to sleep now

- You must be nervous

- Why's that?

It's your last day at school

I can still remember

my last day at school

The school dance

The girls were sweating.

And not just from dancing...

- Do you use the cream I gave you?

- Every day, but it doesn't help much

- You must be patient

- I've been patient for two years

lt'll go away eventually

And if you don't scratch

you won't have any scars

Here, try this.

And come back next week

So what do you want to be,

later?

Not a doctor, for sure

Lisa Velani

I'll f*** her tonight

or my name's Harry Frankenstein

Harry Voss

Harry Voss

- Didn't dare show himself, huh?

- With that ugly spotty mug of his...

Dreaming again?

You think too much

lt'll give you a headache

Your diploma

Wondered if you wanted

to come to the school dance

- Why you asking me?

- Cos I don't want to go on my own

And I like to be the best looking

I don't like parties.

Too many people

- Then we'll go somewhere else

- Where?

Where there's no people

What you doing?

Let the wind carry my message.

In my soul there is a song

She's the answer to all my problems

Though her heart doesn't know it yet

- I didn't know you were a poet

- It's easy when you're in love

Know who I wrote that for?

Read the first letter of each line

I love her... I love them all,

but they aren't interested in me

So come to the dance

and you can read it to her

Are you nuts?

I can't even talk to her

It's easy when you're in love

You think this is what women

dream of?

You don't know women.

They can look right through men

When Lisa looks at you,

she won't see your spots...

she'll see the poet in your eyes

If you don't do it tonight

you never will

Congratulations!

The Future Beckons

See her anywhere?

- Hello Marina

- Hello, handsome

- Will you dance with me later?

- Of course

Don't forget, eh?

Friend of mine

Hey, she's on her own

- What should I do?

- Ask her to dance

- She doesn't dance

- Of course she dances. Go on

- OK, it's fixed

- What is?

You'll see. Come on

- There she is

- Who is?

Marina.

I made a date with her

I'll go first. Then we'll swap

- But I don't know her

- That doesn't matter

But I don't feel anything for her

That won't stop you doing it

She won't want me

She's not like Lisa.

Marina likes doing it... with everyone

She knows you're part of the deal

- Really?

- Yes. I'll be quick, OK?

I'll need some more soon

You can have more right now

Have you taken a pill?

No, but I've got a friend.

He's waiting outside

Do I know him?

He's a sensitive boy. A poet

A poet?

- All right?

- Well, if you can't do it

Your turn

- You sure she wants me?

- Yes, she's ready for you

Come on, little poet.

I'm getting cold

Sorry

Finished already?

Look, Frankenstein.

If you're trying to be funny...

- Incredible! You did it

- Yes, with sh*t paper

Any whisky left?

- In the car

- Take me home

Here, let me

Go on

Drive on!

I live right there

But I can't make it

Can't you carry me in?

I really can't make it

Is that yours?

It's my poem

Where did you get it?

On a train

You can keep it.

I don't need it anymore

Have a heart,

carry me indoors

I can hear it beating...

So you have got one

- Bill!

- Harry!

- Where have you been?

- Vacation

For how long?

Three months in prison,

eight months in jail...

And how are you?

I'm thirsty... and broke

Silence.

Hospital

I'm tired

I live nearby.

I'm looking after someone's house

Someone?

Who I don't know

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