Dad's Army Page #7

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A very nice young man

in records confirmed

that she bought regularly

from their collections,

and they sent them

directly to her home.

That was the missing

piece of the Jigsaw, wasn't it, cissy?

But what was it?

Ooh. The address,

silly Billy.

Miss winters lives in Berlin.

Berlin.

Well, come on, look lively.

Godfrey, let's go.

Berlin.

Berlin, yeah. Lovely.

Why were you there, Arthur?

Were you really leaving me

and frank?

I've been standing

at a crossroads, mavis.

Staring down a road I never took.

I wasn't leaving you.

I went to say goodbye to her.

My life is here

with you, dearest,

and with frank.

I know that now.

Release him, jonesy.

I've always said it,

the man's as innocent as a newborn babe.

He's a Nazi spy.

We caught him at the station

about to abscons.

Abscond, jonesy.

Rose winters asked me

to see her off.

She's the spy or my name's

not James Donald nathrachean frazer.

Yes, you see,

my sisters found out, she lives in Berlin.

They're frightfully clever,

those two.

Later, if you wouldn't mind,

Mr. Godfrey.

Yes.

-Jones, untie me.

-Give it here, Jack.

No hard feelings,

i hope, sergeant?

Even when you

was a Nazi pig dog,

I still felt warmly towards you.

Uncle Arthur, the coast guard just

spotted a u-boat off Sully point.

Real Germans.

Permission to panic, sergeant.

Permission denied.

It'll be her escape route.

Where's mainwaring?

Blimey. I forgot.

He's gone after her.

He's in danger.

Jones, the rifles.

Very good, sir.

We can't just go

storming down there mob-handed.

They'll see us

coming a mile off.

Not if we go in camouflage.

We'd give a lovely

marran grass effect with all this hay.

Excellent! Men, the hay.

No, Arthur. I won't let you.

I have no choice.

Stop messing about.

At the double, Mr. Godfrey.

If you'd be so kind.

Miss winters.

Miss winters.

We've caught him.

Wilson, I mean.

Huge shock, I know.

Who knows

what lurks in the hearts of men, etcetera?

I'm here if you need me.

A shoulder to cry on.

Good lord.

U-boat. U-boat!

You will play a big role

in this war, mainwaring,

as the fool who

lost england the war.

Churchill?

They don't like it up 'em.

Mrs. pike,

what's the matter?

Miss winters is a spy.

The men have gone to

Sully point after her, and there's a u-boat!

They've got no backup.

Daphne, would you be kind enough to

rustle us up some hardware?

Thanks to you, George,

they'll be waiting in normandy to

drive the allies back into the sea.

Help!

Help!

Help!

Vera.

Help!

Have you no heart?

I burn with passion

to see my fuhrer walk up whitehall.

We will never surrender.

Coming, Vera!

Vera!

Cometh the hour.

Well done, jonesy.

Next time,

i won't be so kind-hearted!

Take cover, men!

Run, captain!

Come on.

Oh, sir.

Wilson.

Your command, sir.

Welcome back.

Thank you, Wilson. Men!

We must prevent miss winters

from escaping.

But first, we must rescue

Vera shilton from the incoming tide.

"It's a far better thing I do now

than I have ever done."

Don't be silly, frank.

Please don't!

Ronald colman,

a tale of two cities.

I saw that.

Basil rathbone was frightfully good in that.

- I'm coming, Vera!

- Frank, no!

Pike, get back here!

He'll never make it.

He's got flat feet.

I'm going after him.

No, you'll be cut to pieces.

I must.

We shall create a diversion.

Let me try something.

What did you say,

Mr. Godfrey?

I said, "where is my

good-night snuggle, sweetheart?"

Frank!

Uncle Arthur, I'm scared.

Frank, it's not Betty grable.

It's not Rita...

What's the one with the red hair?

-Hayworth.

-That's the one.

It's Vera.

Your real, live Vera.

Frank!

Need another diversion.

I'll give them something that'll

put the fear of god into them.

Hey!

Run!

Vera!

Frank.

Excellent, frazer.

I haven't finished yet, sir.

Quite enough, thank you.

Sod this for

a game of soldiers.

Walker. Walker!

Walker, return to

your position at once!

You're a

yellow-bellied deserter!

We're doomed. Doomed!

Men...

I am a man of few words, but...

There comes a time

in a soldier's life,

when one must confront...

For god's sake, man, we're in enough

trouble without you making a speech.

It's changing direction!

Look.

It can't be.

On my command, ladies.

Fire!

Ah!

She's getting away!

Captain, no!

Joseph Walker,

you must be crazy.

Looks like you split your lederhosen

auf wiedersehen to you!

Joe.

Well, I'll be damned.

Meeks, alert the Navy.

That u-boat does

not leave the bay.

Very good, sir.

I fear

we may be too late.

Oh, my...

He was a great captain.

The best.

Oh.

Look.

And the sea delivereth him.

Yours, I believe, gentlemen.

They've sealed off the bay.

Good show, mainwaring.

Joe. Joe.

You're my hero.

Oh, leave it out, daph.

Come on, then.

Mr. Jones, I'm in awe.

How can I possibly

thank you?

You'll think of something.

I already have.

Let's finish that puzzle, shall we?

Oh, Arthur, you saved him,

our little boy.

Well, he's a man now, mavis.

Good god.

Mavis, look away.

Shouldn't do that

in front of people.

So, Jerry met his match.

Excellent work, captain.

We couldn't have done it

without you, officer.

-Elizabeth...

-Enough tosh, George.

You have a parade to lead.

Had my suspicions

about miss winters from the start.

I couldn't tell anyone,

of course.

Price of leadership.

Not bad for a shambles,

Mr. Hodges?

Bravo, mainwaring.

I never doubted you.

Touch and go for a while,

old friend, but we got there in the end.

Friend, sir?

Eyes front, shoulders back.

Sergeant in the home guard,

not a sack of potatoes.

Thank you, sir.

You really are most awfully kind.

Attention!

Where is sergeant Wilson?

In bed, I shouldn't wonder.

Caught a chill up on the downs.

Poppycock.

Saw him coming

out of the...

Whose phone is that?

Sorry, sir. Mine.

Godfrey,

take that phone out!

-Sorry, sir.

-Turn it off immediately!

Sorry, sir. Sorry.

Take it out!

I can't get it out, sir.

I've told him.

Take the...

Walker, help him with his phone.

Walker,

get a job...

Frazer,

stop talking and help him with his phone.

I've got it now.

I got it, sir.

Would you hold it?

I don't think that's period.

Corporal Jones

and I have discovered a crystal radio set in...

Under his desk

and top-secret documents

written in German.

I've locked him into

the church hall until...

Perhaps I should start

on the less

celebrated achievements of the platoon.

Now, affected by

a plague of hedgehogs,

several of us undertook to clear the

farm using only a hosepipe

and two strands of lead piping.

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