Daddy's Home 2 Page #11

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Yes.

Is he doing that one look that

he does? You know, like...

- Is he doing that look?

- Yeah.

Where he doesn't blink? Yeah.

Yep.

You know,

when I said that

Brad was turning you into

something that you're not?

Maybe, you know,

what I really meant to say

was that

Brad's turning you

into something that I'm not,

a good dad.

(SCOFFS)

No? No, that didn't

do it for you?

Come on.

I thought it was pretty good.

That whole speech

was in the movie we just saw.

- Was it?

- Yeah. Word for word.

Dramatic pauses and all.

Liam Neeson just said that.

It must've been in my

subconscious.

I'm gonna go drain the lizard.

Yeah. Yeah.

Whoa!

That is a very impressive

watch. Is that a Rolex?

Mine's a Casio.

(SIGHS)

You know what, Kurt?

When we first met,

I was so excited about

our being co-grandpas.

And now everybody's miserable!

And my son won't forgive me.

You know what you and Brad

really need?

Oh, no.

I'm not taking any advice

from the likes of you.

No, thank you.

Okay, what do we need?

- Hey! Adrianna's here!

- ADRIANNA:
Megan!

Hi!

- I can't shake this guy.

- I can't shake this guy.

- You guys got stuck here, too?

- ADRIANNA:
Yeah.

And, Dylan, look who else

got stuck. Your girlfriend!

MEGAN:
We should put her under

the mistletoe.

ADRIANNA:
Yeah!

- Come on, stay under.

- Stay.

You like that girl, don't you?

Hmm.

Well,

who knocked down a pin

all by himself?

- I did?

- Damn right, you did.

Now go in there

and pick up that spare.

Here she is, Dylan!

It just doesn't seem right.

Brad?

Dad, I really don't want to...

Jeez.

We're gonna settle this

physically, like men!

And when it's all over, we're

gonna feel a whole lot better.

At least somebody's

taking my advice today.

Cut it out! This is child abuse!

Honey, help me!

Don't be such a snowflake.

Fight back!

Hey, guys, come on,

knock it off.

You're making a scene,

all right?

Yeah, Don, lean on him!

Engage me, son,

for the sake of our male bond.

No, wait, wait, look. Look!

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

What's he doing?

Oh, my God. He's going in

for his first kiss.

Look, she's standing

under the mistletoe.

Oh, my God. Where's my phone?

Where's my phone?

Oh, my God, where's your phone?

Brad, where's your phone!

Okay, it's right here.

Right here. Yeah. Yeah.

Look how brave he is.

She's all yours, buddy.

Unless she's

got a boyfriend.

In that case,

there's always the Friend Zone.

No, there's nothing wrong

with the Friend Zone.

Guys, he's not going

in the Friend Zone, okay?

Look at that smile.

She likes him.

KURT:
Yeah, she wants a kiss.

My God, he kissed his sister!

Congratulations, you lucky gal.

I did it, El Padre!

I kissed the girl I like!

Yeah! Attaboy! (LAUGHS)

Did you just kiss your sister?

You sick kid!

Stepsister.

I mean, still not okay,

I know that.

What? No, no, wait, he's just

a little confused, all right?

It's no surprise

when you look at who raised him.

Adrianna, come on.

We're going home.

Wait, wait, Roger,

you can't go out in that storm.

I was an alternate for Season 3

Ice Road Truckers.

I'll be fine.

That was their best season.

I got this.

Wait a minute.

Roger, hold up, man.

No. From now on, I don't want

you anywhere near my daughter.

I don't want anything to do

with any of you people!

Look, I never wanted to be

family with you, either, Roger.

Just like Brad never wanted to be

family with me, did you, Brad?

No. Not at all. I hated your

guts.

In fact, I still kind of do

right now.

Yeah. Me, too, Brad.

But we're all connected

by these kids.

No one's going anywhere.

- You gonna stop me?

- If I have to, yes.

Yeah, right. You couldn't stop

a clock, you weak tit.

The hammer.

You know what, Adrianna?

You're not gonna like this, young

lady, but this is long overdue.

I love you.

- That got me.

- Got me, too. Right here.

What the hell did you just say?

You heard me.

I said, I love my stepdaughter!

And I meant it. I should've said

it a long time ago,

but I was afraid to put myself out

there and risk getting rejected.

Sweet.

You know what?

Adrianna, you're gonna spend

Christmas with your mom, okay?

You're not leaving us, Roger.

'Cause I love you, too.

- You take that back!

- Nope. I can't.

Can't take it back now.

Everybody heard it.

It's out there.

- Everybody hear it?

- CROWD:
Yeah.

You're her dad,

you made her who she is,

and despite her currently harboring a

fair amount of resentment towards me,

I love her, so that means

I love you, too.

And I've never been too good

about saying it,

but I'm gonna follow Brad's

example,

who I also love.

Now you're just saying things

to choke me up.

Brad! Cut it out.

- I'm trying.

- I'm a hot mess here.

- Don, please!

- You've got to understand,

when it comes out of nowhere

like that,

what do you expect?

- Stop!

- I'm stopping.

- I'm currently stopping.

- We're...

Yeah, guys. Cut it out,

you're embarrassing me.

I love you, Brad.

And I love Karen, I love Sara,

and I love my kids.

I...

I might need a little more

time with that one.

Sure, understood.

But we're making progress.

Maybe for your birthday.

Yeah.

You know. Unless you

want to say anything?

- Anything at all?

- DON:
Say it, Kurt.

- Now's the time.

- Just say it, Kurt.

DUSTY:

You want to say anything?

BRAD:
It's not that bad.

Just say it.

- You can do it.

- Do it.

Nah, the birthday's a good

target. Good target.

All right, Roger,

what do you say?

It's not too late to spend

Christmas with your family.

(CROWD GROANING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

It's Christmastime

There's no need to be

afraid, Roger

At Christmastime

We let in light and we

banish shade

Damn, that's my favorite

song of all time.

And in our world of plenty

We can spread a smile of joy

Throw your arms around the

world

At Christmastime

But say a prayer

Pray for the other ones!

I'll play this in August,

I don't even care.

At Christmastime

It's hard, but when you're

having fun

There's a world outside

your window

It's a world of dread and

fear

Where the only water

flowing is

The bitter sting of tears

And the Christmas bells

that ring there

Are the clanging chimes of

doom

Well, tonight thank God

it's them

Instead of you

Yes! Fantastic!

He heard it!

Come on, Roger.

Look. Yes, we're all stuck here,

but we're with our loved ones.

I'm not. I came alone.

Okay, well,

he came to the movies alone on

Christmas, and that's a little sad.

That's a little sad!

But you're not alone, sir.

I mean, think about it. We come

to the movies all the time.

We sit with hundreds of people.

And we laugh together,

we cry together,

but we never look at each other,

do we?

Brad, it's not a microphone,

it's a mallet. See?

- They can hear you.

- You can still hear me, right?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Take a look at each other.

- That's right.

- Hi.

BRAD:
Give a hug.

Give an embrace.

What we have here are the makings

of a really great Christmas party.

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