Daffy Duck's Quackbusters Page #3

You bad old pussycat.

Open up. Open up, I say.

Open this door or I'll knock it down.

I'll jump. I've got a choice? Ahh!

Fly! Fly faster!

Fly harder! Fly! Fly!

He's a killer! Help! Save me!

Ahh! Ahh!

Save me! He's a killer! Help!

Ha! I gotcha.

And just to make sure you don't get out

and that goon don't get in...

...I'm locking the door

and tossing the key out the window.

There.

And now, for that Tweety sandwich

I've been dreaming of.

Stop squirming.

I can't stand a sore loser.

Now for a little seasoning.

There's cloves...

...Tabasco sauce...

...mustard.

What? No ketchup?

Well, I guess I'll just have to eat you

without ketch...

Help! Open the door!

Help! I'm locked in with a killer!

Ahh! Help! Help! Ahh! Ahh!

Help!

Help! Save me! Ahh! Ahh!

Save me! He's a killer! Help!

Sylvester.

Most outrageous exhibition

of wanton cowardice.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shameful.

Yeah, shameful.

Sylvester, now, where have you been?

What's gotten into you?

He's a complete basket case.

One word.

Rhinoceros?

Quasimodo?

Monster.

Why, that's just a little old canary bird

fluttering in the breeze.

You yellow dog of a cowardly Sylvester,

you.

Now, Sylvester, come on off of there.

Yes, yes?

- Hmm. Yes.

- You ought to be declawed...

...you silly ninny, you.

Okay, that's it. You're done. Fired.

Pink-slipped without pay.

How's about you and your darling pet...

...taking a little excursion...

...to the resort town of Dry Gulch.

There's something screwy

going on down there.

Terror in the tumbleweeds,

that sort of thing.

Never fear.

My eagle eye will be ever alert

to anything out of the ordinar... Ordinar...

To anything unusual.

Gosh, Sylvester, isn't it wonderful?

An all-expense-paid vacation.

Hey, easy on the expenses, Jack.

And take that panicky feline with you.

Come along now,

you pusillanimous pussycat, you.

Well, Sylvester, here we are.

Dry Gulch, our first assignment.

Golly, I've always wanted to be...

Go out West.

Haven't you, Sylvester?

It's so quaint and picturesque.

I don't think

we're ever going to find any gho...

Poltergeists out here.

Dry Gulch Hotel. How opportune.

I hope they're not full up.

Come on, Sylvester. I'm afraid

we'll just have to wake somebody up.

What the...?

Sylvester.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Now, come on. Get down from there.

I ought to clobber you.

Come on, you great yellow cat, you.

What now?

Brother, the things I have to put up with

with this idiotic cat.

It's just a little teeny harmless spider,

you shameless craven, you.

Now, come on. I'm sleepy.

I'll just ring for the night clerk.

I guess they're all asleep.

So I think we'd better just sign the register

and look up a room for ourselves.

We'll straighten the whole thing out

in the morning.

All right, what's the big idea pushing me?

Oh, don't be such an idiot.

What are you, a schizophre...?

A schizophre...?

A manic-depressive or something?

Sylvester.

What are you trying to do,

wake everybody in the house?

Of all the screwball ideas.

Fighting with stuffed animals.

Heh-heh-heh. Weren't we lucky

to find an unoccupied suite, Sylvester?

Now, let's go to sleep.

You'll feel a lot better in the morning.

Psychopathic old p*ssy cat, you.

What...? I can't breathe.

What's going...? Hey, hey, hey.

Sylvester...

...what are you doing with that rope?

And that razor?

That settles it. Out you go.

Out, out, out!

What...? Get off of me. Get out of here.

What's the big idea?

What are you up to now, Sylvester?

Sylvester,

you come out of there this instant.

Well?

Oh, cut it out.

Of all the nonsense.

I guess the only way you'll be safe

from the bogeyman...

...is to sleep here with me.

You poltroon of a chicken cat, you.

Mice.

Tell me, Sylvester,

is there any insanity in your family?

What a lovely morning.

This really is a restful place.

You know, I think we'll just stay here

for a week or 10 days...

...and get really rested up.

Yow! Yipes! Yow! Yay!

Bothered by monsters?

Not to worry.

Our highly-skilled professional staff...

...is equipped to handle

any supernatural emergency...

...using only

the most advanced techniques.

My associate shall now demonstrate.

My stars.

Where did you ever get

that awful hairdo?

It doesn't become you at all.

Here, for goodness' sake. Let me fix it up.

Look how stringy and messy it is.

What a shame.

Such an interesting monster too.

My stars, if an interesting monster

can't have an interesting hairdo...

...then I don't know

what things are coming to.

In my business,

you meet so many interesting people.

Bobby pins, please.

But the most interesting ones

are the monsters.

Oh, dear, that'll never stay.

We'll just have to have a permanent.

Now, I've gotta give an interesting old lady

a manicure...

...but I'll be back before you're done.

So, folks, call Daffy Duck,

Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig...

...paranormalists at large.

Spooks spooked, goblins gobbled,

UFOs KO'd, aliens alienated...

...vampires evaporated

and monsters remonstrated.

Just call 555-5925.

Remember, that's the same

as dialing 555-KWAK.

Daffy Duck, anything for a buck.

Mr. Duck, I seem to be having trouble

with my kitchen appliances.

Listen, lady, this ain't no electrician's.

Well, it isn't quite that kind of trouble.

Your ad says paranormal expert, and...

Oh, I get it. Monsters in the microwave,

bats in the blender, that sort of thing.

No problem.

Just slip into something out of this world

and I'll be right over.

A damsel in distress,

and in a swanky part of town.

Okay, so where's the fire?

It's in the oven, I presume.

Whoops. My mistake.

Nothing a little Uzi-Off couldn't fix.

Must be the frost-free kind. Whew.

I could use some liquid refreshment.

Say, lady,

where do you keep your glasses?

They're in the cupboard.

Hmm. It's getting a little crowded

in here.

What say we mosey on

into someplace a little more cozy-like...

...and talk things over.

So you have these Tupperware parties

often?

Oh, Daffy, you're so witty.

Yes, I am witty at that.

How very perceptive of you to notice.

Oh, Daffy, I'm so scared.

And it's so comforting to have

a short, dark, handsome duck...

...like you to protect me.

You will help me, won't you?

Sure, sweetums. It's in the bag.

With a little cooperation

and the proper setting...

...we could hold hands

and have a seance.

Handy things, these seances.

Gosh, I don't know my own strength.

Come on down to Papa, baby.

Oh! Big, strong Daffy-waffy gonna

protect little itty-bitty me?

Oh, brother,

not another schizophrenic dame.

Hey, Sybil,

any more like you in the family?

Could you send back

that older sister of yours?

Ou-yay upid-stay erk-jay.

And I thought French

was a romantic language.

Mary had a little lamb...

...but I ate it.

So tell me, mein frulein...

...when did you start hearing

these voices?

Was it something in your childhood,

perhaps?

Buried deep in your subconscious mind?

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