Daffy Duck's Quackbusters Page #4

Search your memory.

You're blocking.

This is a little over my head.

Here we are.

How to Exorcise. Just the ticket.

If this doesn't get her, nothing will.

"One and two and three and four.

One and two and three and... "

Whoops.

My error.

Here it is. The real McCoy.

"Of utmost importance

in the exorcism of spirits...

...is to keep them amused. "

Keep them amused, huh? I'll slay them.

A guy came up to me,

said he hadn't had a bite in weeks...

...so I bit him.

Howdy, stranger.

Just flew in from another world, huh?

I'll bet your arms are tired.

Hmm. They don't seem all that amused.

Maybe it's a culture gap.

I'll try something a little closer to home.

Did you hear the one about the girl

who didn't pay her exorcist bill?

Her soul got repossessed.

What? Who? Huh?

Why, I feel like my old self again.

Nothing to it, really,

for one of my sophisticated wit.

Uh-oh.

That tickles.

Oh, my hero.

Y'all come back now, you hear?

Whew. What a fiasco.

House calls are definitely hazardous

to my health.

Cubish.

Let's see what my nemesis has been up to

in my absence.

Yow!

The money supply is dwindling.

I'm down to my last million.

Yes, please, anything.

Porky Pig reporting for duty,

O noble leader.

Oh, it's you. So, what's the story?

Any ghouls in them there hills?

Sorry, sir. A perfectly uneventful trip.

Except for this terrible headache.

I guess I'm not used to

the brisk desert climate.

Well, there's something screwy going on

around there, buddy.

I've been getting lots of calls

about suspicious-like activity.

Why don't you head on down

to the Superstition Mountains...

...and do some more snooping?

You're bound to find some rich nut

who's superstitious enough...

...to pay us royally for our services.

Boldly go where no pig has gone before.

Great news, Sylvester.

We're off to the Superstition Mountains.

Bills, bills, bills.

It's positively stultifying.

But I don't mind paying them.

Nice bills, good bills.

Can't get enough of them.

Some rich sucker for the supernatural

better materialize soon.

Daffy Duck, paranormalist par excellence.

Hello,

this is a person-to-person collect call...

...to Mr. Daffy Duck

from outer Transylvania.

Go ahead, please.

I want to bite your neck.

No, no. Don't drive that

wooden stake through my heart.

Transylvania? Yuck!

What a gruesome assignation.

But still, somebody's gotta go there.

I can't afford to leave any stone

unturned.

Ah. I got it. I'll stick the nasty job

on that underemployed rabbit.

After all, I did promise him

travel opportunities and...

- Go ahead, it's your quarter.

- Guess what, pal?

I pulled a few strings, sliced through

some bureaucratic red tape, and...

You mean I get to go to Palm Springs?

Well, not to Palm Springs exactly,

but someplace even balmier.

Scenic Transylvania,

tourist spot of the Western world.

I hear it's simply breathtaking

this time of year.

Just call me when you get there

and we'll map out your strategy.

Oh! Wow, what a belt.

These Transylvanian hardwoods

ain't too soft.

Who is that delicious young creature,

Emily?

Uh-oh. Good morning, ladies... Lady.

Could you direct me

to the nearest telephone?

Doesn't he look sweet and crunchy,

Agatha?

Oh, well, never mind.

I'll just check at that motel over there.

Boy, they don't make places like this

anymore.

Be a wonderful place for a vacation.

Sorry to disturb you, sir.

I'd like to use your telephone.

- I know it's late, but...

- Oh, no, it's never too late.

- Come in.

- Yeah, well...

...you see, I just wanna call my partner

in the U.S. A...

...to tell him I've arrived

in your charming country.

Boy, keen-looking lobby they got here.

Telephones, telephones.

Why do hotels

always hide the telephone...

...booths.

Oh, yeah. You must be the head waiter.

Count Bloodcount, at your service, sir.

Yeah. Well, look, Con,

about those telephones.

Telephones? Telephones?

Oh, yes. Right this way.

Say, nice little place

you've got here, doc.

Interesting decor. Homey, comfortable.

Nice recreational facilities.

Nothing like family portraits

to brighten up a place, I always say.

This is your room.

Yeah, sure, doc, but I don't want a room.

I just want a telephone.

Rest first. Telephone tomorrow.

Rest is good for the blood.

Well, I am a little fatigued.

Goodbye, little friend.

I mean, good night.

Asleep yet?

Nope.

Well, ring if you need anything.

Cyanide or like that.

Same old problem.

I just can't sleep in a strange bed

no matter how nice the place is.

Hey, that's what I need,

something to read.

Mm. "Magic Words and Phrases. "

Sounds interesting. Yeah.

Uh... "Magic can be performed

either by potions...

...or by the use of magic words

and phrases.

Among the most powerful of these...

...is the word aba... Abracadabra. "

Yeah. Oh, sure it is. Sick humor.

"It is to laugh magic words... "

Golly, what big mosquitoes

they do have around here.

Hold still, you little devil. There.

"Another highly useful magic word

is hocus-pocus. "

- Anyone we know, Agatha?

- No.

Splendid-looking specimen, though.

Boy, I hope the restaurant's still open.

I haven't eaten since I left Cucamonga.

Abracadabra

Another one.

They ought to screen this place.

Hocus-pocus

I am a vampire.

Oh, yeah? Well, abracadabra.

I'm an umpire.

Hocus-pocus.

I'm a bat.

Okay, I'm a bat too.

Abracadabra.

You wouldn't hit

a bat with glasses on, would you?

Hocus-pocus.

Now I crush you.

Abracadabra.

Hocus-pocus.

Abracadabra.

Hocus-pocus.

Abracadabra.

Abraca-pocus.

Pocus-cadabra.

Newport News.

Wow, I can do better than that.

Walla Walla, Washington.

Oh, girls.

Emily, look. It's our little friend.

Look, Emily.

Isn't it romantic?

I always said,

four heads are better than one.

Well, a telephone at last.

Hello, operator?

Could you please connect me with a certain

Mr. Daffy Duck in New York City, U.S.A.?

Abraca-pocus

So, what's the bad word?

Anything inexplicable

to write home about?

No, nothing special.

But I did manage

to bring together two lovely couples...

...who have a lot in common.

What do you think we're running here,

a matrimonial agency?

Just like that rabbit.

The company's crashing down around me

and he gets sentimental.

Let's see, now. Let's see. Form A, 62-B.

I can deduct 30 thou because of

my winning personality, but wait.

According to schedule 77...

...since I was born in a month

with an R in it...

...I can write off this, subtract that,

carry the one and...

These new simplified tax forms

are driving me nuts.

Setbacks, setbacks.

Ah. I got it. I'll claim my deceased

Uncle Robespierre Duck as a dependent.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

What the IRS don't know

won't hurt them.

Nothing simpler

than a little juggling of the books.

Oh, come on, I like to juggle books.

It's good, clean, harmless fun.

See? Juggling.

It's my hobby.

- Uh, hello?

- Himalayas.

A giant monster running amok,

ruining tourist trade.

Come quick. Help!

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