Danny Deckchair

Danny, Danny?

Jesus, Danny!

Bloody hell.

Danny, get up.

Come on, dummy.

Get up here, bloody hell.

Come on.

Jesus, Danny!

Come on.

Get up.

Move him, that's it.

All the way out. Is your

head screwed on, mate? Is it?

'Cause that's

the second time this week.

Aw, mate, what was I thinking?

I know what you're thinking. You were

thinking about your bloody holiday.

Yeah, my holiday...

No.

Aw, forget it.

Ooh!

Two more days, Pete,

and I'm on that plane.

- I thought you were going camping.

- We are.

We're flying up to Port Douglas,

gonna take the tent, do some camping.

So what?

You're gonna take a tent...

...sleeping bags,

maybe a camp stove...

- You're gonna put that on a plane?

- What's wrong with that?

It's just that normally,

when people fly they stay in hotels.

I don't want to stay in a hotel.

I wanna go camping.

Hey, Daryl, can they keep a boat

in the driveway in Earlwood?

Can you hold on for one tic?

Line three, thank you.

Look, it's even got a spa

in the laundry.

Trudy, it's him!

Sandy Upman, line two.

Sandy Upman?

The sports reporter?

You mean

that big spunk on AUS 11?

Walked in off the street, last week.

Said he wants to buy some real estate.

Sandy, thanks for calling back.

Yes, I found them, they were

under the seat of my car.

Sure, Sandy, that would be great.

I could show you some more properties.

Wednesday is fine.

2:
00?

Listen, Sandy, could we make it

more like 1:
00 P.M.?

Great, maybe we can grab

some lunch.

- Ooh!

- Okay, see you then.

She's going to lunch.

Lunch with Sandy Upman!

- I mean he's practically famous.

- He is famous!

Next week, I'm gonna...

God, next week!

Hi, Trudy!

Hello!

Danny?

Hi, babes.

Danny, I can't go.

What?

I'm sorry, sweetheart,

but I have to work next week.

- You what?

- This afternoon.

...bloody Ray announces that he's gonna

go to Brisbane for a week.

His sister died

and he's gotta go out there.

- There's no way around it.

- His sister?

Brisbane? Can't somebody else

look after the office?

- It's my job, Danny.

- Can't you make up an excuse?

I'm not like that,

I've got responsibilities now.

I'm not some little secretary

anymore.

He's been so quiet all weekend.

I'm afraid

to leave him home tomorrow.

Donna, I feel lousy about this.

Come on, at least now

you'll be home for the long weekend.

Maybe we can have a barbie.

Right, good idea.

We'll have it over here.

- Danny loves a good barbie.

- Mm-hmm.

Sweetheart?

It's the long weekend

next weekend.

You wanna have everybody over

for a big barbie?

You big sook!

Right, it's settled.

I'll ring Bob and Kaz...

Sandy Upman in the press-room.

- Thanks very much, Brian.

It appears we've got

quite a struggle here at the SCG.

At quarter time, the Kangaroos

are leading the Swans.

- Three goals to four, 22...

- Hello, Trudy, are you there?

...this is AFL on AUS 11.

I'm Sandy Upman.

Monday morning traffic is light...

Make way seletah rum

dem mad feel!

While me rugged

dance hall echoes.

Fa'apa, boom-boom,

fa'apa, boom-boom.

Midnight reflect sunrays

da di da da ooh.

Screams from da' old plantation

non-stop.

Fai fai pea, fai fai pea.

Screams from da' old plantation

non-stop.

Fai fai pea, fai fai pea.

Scream from da' old plantation

non-stop.

Fai fai pea, fai fai pea.

Let's take...

let's take her back.

Or take them back home

to the motherland and teach.

Let's take...

let's take her back.

Back, back, back.

Please, don't think...

I'm not paying for them, all right?

My name is Phil Stubbs,

not Snubbs, all right?

Yeah, you do all your paperwork.

I just want the problem fixed.

- Phil?

- You got...

Hey, Danny, how is it going, mate?

- Good to see you, mate.

- Good to see you too, man.

How is the second-best footballer

in the history of Earlwood High?

Second best to who,

you old bastard?

Easy, fellow.

- Messing up your suit there, Phil.

- No worries, mate.

- So you're still with Trudy?

- Yeah.

Great, so you tied the knot then?

Well no, but...

we own a house together.

- Mate, that's even worse, eh?

- Yeah.

Hey, listen, you tell me...

what's wrong with this picture?

- I thought it was Stubbs.

- Exactly. You got that?

You... You own Car City?

Yeah, doing well, mate,

doing well.

In fact, we're having a big sale

over the long weekend.

We are really doing it up,

I tell you...

...raffles, giveaways for the kids,

the works!

Maybe you should have

a pancake breakfast.

- A what?

- Big pancake brekky.

I saw it on TV... All these people out

in the car park eating pancakes.

- Yeah.

- Excuse me.

- Eating pancakes, huh?

- That's right.

You are a nutter, mate.

You haven't changed a bit.

Oh, what the hell!

Here, have a balloon.

Thanks, Phil.

Yeah...

Oh, I love polka dots.

So, tomorrow is the big day?

Sandy Upman, beware!

She'll just chew you up

and spit you out, eh?

- Just like Danny.

- You cut it out, you guys.

I feel bad enough as it is.

I mean every year we go on holiday

and everything's fine.

But give him

some time off at home...

...and he starts climbing the walls.

I haven't been up there for a while.

Danny?

Danny!

I though he might be

over there with Pete.

No, no sign of him.

This is getting to be too much.

I mean, you know how he comes up

with all these stupid ideas.

Like the time he made

a human slingshot?

Tell me about it.

But now, every night I come home

and he is doing something weird.

He just doesn't know

what to do with himself.

- I know it sounds cruel.

- No, go on.

Well, things are really

taking off for me.

You know...

you want to know what?

Danny...

Well, Danny's a cement man.

He'll never be anything

but a cement man.

Oh, I'm not saying

he is dull or anything but...

...he's one of the little people.

You know what I mean?

Hi, Danny.

- Trudy here?

- You just missed her.

- She just stepped out with...

- Sandy, do you have a listing.

...for that house down on

the waterfront, you know the old...

I thought you had

to go away this week.

Right, right,

I was supposed to go away...

...but... well, it was a bit

of an emergency, Danny.

- My brother had...

- I thought it was your sister.

No, it was my brother.

She's all right now.

It was a bloody awful thing, Danny.

It was a very close call. Danny!

It's the kind of prose... I don't

want to use names like Dylan Thomas.

Sandy Upman...

- Sandy! Up the mighty Saints

- You know it, buddy.

You see his bum crack

was showing?

Hey, what're you waiting for?

Come on!

What are you looking at?

Polka dots.

I went by your office today.

I was gonna surprise you for lunch.

I saw Ray there.

You know what?

He's been there all week.

No, he didn't, he just got back,

just this morning.

He got back early.

He went to his sister's...

I don't think Ray even has a sister.

What's going on?

Oh, nothing is going on!

- What's all this business about...

- Okay, I lied.

But only because I didn't want to go

on some stupid camping trip.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes