Dark Star

Hi Guys.

Glad we got your message.

You'll be interested to hear it was

broadcast live, all over Earth.

In Prime Time.

Got good reviews in the trades.

The time lag on these messages

is getting longer.

We gather from the ten year delay,

that you are approximately

eighteen parsecs away.

Drop us a line more often, okay?

Sony to hear about the radiation

leak on the ship.

And real sorry to hear about

the death of Commander Powell.

There was a week of mourning

here on Earth.

The flags were at half mast.

We're all behind you guys.

About your request for

radiation shielding,

sorry to report this request

has been denied.

I hate to send bad news when you guys

are up there doing such a swell job.

But I think you'll take if

in the proper spirit.

There've been some cutbacks

in Congress, and right now...

considering the distance,

we just can't afford

to send a cargo shuttle

out there to you.

But I know...

You guys will make due.

Keep up the good work, men.

What'd you say Pinback?

What was that again?

I still can't hear you.

I said I'm trying to reach Talby.

Something's wrong

with the damn intercom.

I need a last-minute

diameter approximation.

Talby, Talby, this is Doolittle.

Do you read me? Talby?

Talby, do you read me?

TALBY!

Oh yes, Doolittle.

What is it?

I need a diameter approximation.

Okay, Doolittle,

I'll have it in a minute.

I need a GHF reading

on the gravity correction.

I'll check it.

I have a bias A of plus one.

- Pinback...

- Ya, Doolittle.

- Your GHF reading is minus fifteen.

- Doolittle.

Yes.

I need a computer reading

on a fail-safe mark.

In a second.

Boiler, can you set me up

with some drive figures?

Ninety seven million, minus eight,

corrected to mass critical.

That checks out here.

I have a reduced drive reading

of seven thousand.

I read that with a quantum

increase of seven.

Pinback, I have a computer reading,

it's nine five seven seven.

Time to start talking.

Bomb bay systems operational.

Lock fail safe.

Fail-safe in lock.

Uh,...

Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb #19.

Do you read me, bomb?

Bomb #19 to Sergeant Pinback,

I read you... Continue.

Well, bomb, we have about

sixty seconds to drop.

Just wondering if everything

is all right.

Have you checked your platinum

euridium energy shielding?

- Energy shielding positive function.

- Swell.

Let's synchronize detonation time.

Uh...

You wouldn't happen to know when

you're supposed to go off, would ya?

Detonation in six minutes,

Twenty seconds.

All right, that checks out here.

Arm yourself, bomb.

Armed.

Well, then, everything sounds fine.

Dropping you off in about

thirty-five seconds.

- Good luck.

- Thanks!

Begin primary sequence.

Alright. Mark at...

'10-9-8-7-

6-5-4-3-2-1

Drop.

Hyperdrive sequence begun.

Hit it, Pinback.

Brace for force fields.

Lieutenant Doolittle,

it just exploded.

Um, the planet just exploded, sir.

Lieutenant?

Attention. Attention.

- Ship's computer to all personnel.

- Unlock Fail safe.

The hyperdrive sequence

is now terminated.

- Target planet has been destroyed.

- Fail safe unlocked.

This sector is now cleared

for colonization.

You have destroyed the last

unstable planet in this system.

Congratulations on another

successful bomb run fellows.

What now?

What do you have

for us now, Boiler?

Uh... Not much.

Nothing at all in this sector.

Well, find me something,

I don't care where it is.

Well, I show a 95% probability

of intelligent life

in the Horsehead Nebula sector.

Don't give me that kind of bull.

- I know it's a long shot...

- Damn wild goose chase is what it is!

Remember when Commander Powell

found that

99 plus probability of intelligent life

in the Magellanic Cloud?

- Well, I... there's the possibility of...

- Remember what we found?

A damn mindless vegetable,

looked like a limp balloon.

Fourteen light years for a vegetable

that went squawk

and let a fart when you touch it.

Remember that?

All right, then uh...

Don't give me any of that

intelligent life stuff.

Find me something I can blow up.

New star.

Hey, guess what? I got a new star

On the readout.

Which one?

Another unknown. A red dwarf.

Not on the charts.

Any planets?

Yeah. Eight, it says here.

Any of 'em any good?

Naah. All stable.

What are you gonna name it?

- What?

- The new star.

What are you gonna name it?

Who cares. Don't bother me.

Commander Powell would have named it.

Commander Powell is dead.

Doolittle, I've got a goodie.

An unstable planet.

85% probability of an

unstable planet in the

Veil Nebula that will probably

go off its orbit and hit a star.

Wanna blow it up?

Real good, Boiler.

That's what I'm looking for.

Chart a course for

the Veil Nebula.

Pinback, throw me the chart log.

Let's have some music in here, Boiler.

Sure thing.

A million suns shine down

But I see only one

When I think I'm over you

I find I've just begun

The years move faster than the days

There's no warmth in the light

How I miss those desert skies

Your cool touch in the night

Benson, Arizona,

blew warm wind through your hair

My body Hies the galaxy,

my heart longs to be there

Benson, Arizona,

the same stars in the sky

But they seemed so much kinder

when we watched them, you and I

Benson, Arizona,

blew warm wind through your hair

My body Hies the galaxy,

my heart longs to be there

Benson, Arizona,

the same stars in the sky

But they seemed so much kinder

when we watched them, you and I

Now the years pull us apart

I'm young and now you're old

But you're still in my heart

And the memory won't grow cold

I dream of times and spaces

I left far behind

Where we spent our last few days

Benson's on my mind

Benson, Arizona,

blew warm wind through your hair

My body flies the galaxy,

my heart longs to be there

Benson, Arizona,

the same stars in the sky

But they seemed so much kinder

when we watched them, you and I

Ship's log, entry number 1,943.

Dark Star cruising at light speed

through Sector Theta 990.

On route to Veil Nebula for

destruction of unstable planet.

Our ETA is 17 hours.

Ship's systems continue to deteriorate...

oh ya...

The short circuit in the rear seat panel

which killed Commander Powell

is Still faulty.

The uh, the Storage...

because he's sitting next to

Commander Powell's seat,

it continues to bother Pinback.

Uh,... oh ya, Storage Area 9

self-destructed last week and

destroyed the ship's entire

supply of toilet paper.

That's all.

Attention. Attention.

Ship's computer calling all personnel.

I must disengage your

recreational music-

Repeat, ship's computer to

all personnel.

This is an emergency over ride.

All systems must stand by.

An asteroid storm is approaching

the ship on collision course.

This asteroid storm appears to be

Bound together by an

electromagnetic energy vortex like

the one we ran into 2 years ago.

Normally I wouldn't bother you

boys with this problem...

but as you recall my defensive circuits

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