Dave Chappelle: For What It's Worth Page #7

Synopsis: Chappelle cuts loose in what he does best, Chappelle-style! And for what it's worth, no one is safe from Dave!
Director(s): Stan Lathan
Production: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
  Nominated for 2 Primetime Emmys. Another 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
8.5
NOT RATED
Year:
2004
60 min
885 Views


If you're making love to your man, | might as well spice it up, right?

How about this? I personally like it.

I like it when a girl tells me where to come.

Don't like it when she tells me | when to come. I hate it.

''Don't come yet.'' Oh, b*tch, all these rules!

Instead of doing that, | why don't you just tell us where?

It would make us feel better. | Especially if you're aggressive about it.

I like it when a girl gets wild with me. | ''Come in my face!''

Stick your chin out like a boxer.

''Bring it on, motherf***er.

''You're a bum.''

But it doesn't have to be | that wild or explicit.

All a man wants to know is | you're interested and will participate.

You can say anything, he'll be happy.

''Come on top of the television.'' | All right, fine.

The weirder the place, the better.

''Come in my fishbowl.'' Damn, fishbowl.

''Oh, sh*t, they're eating it all.''

Fish love it when I come over.

''It's that guy. | We're having chicken tonight.''

You guys, man, thanks. | This has been the best year of my career.

By far.

I appreciate you guys watching me.

'Cause I do it for my kids, really.

And my kids are off the hook.

You think I'm a bad motherf***er, | wait till you see the 2000 model Chappelle.

This n*gger is off the hook.

My sons are bad.

My oldest son is three.

This kid made me a necklace | out of macaroni.

I said, ''This sh*t is baller.''

He painted the macaroni green | and put it on a string.

He tied it on my neck and he told me | he was proud of me and I got choked up.

And he thought I was sad. | That's how smart he was.

He says, ''Are you sad, Daddy?''

And I said, ''No, I'm not sad.

''You're too young to understand this, | son, but this is f***ing crazy.

''You used to live in my balls, man.

''Now you're making jewelry out of | macaroni. You're a bad motherf***er.''

Long live Chappelles.

Oh, sh*t.

Thanks, guys. Thank you.

That's what it's all about.

Everybody usually wants to be famous...

so they can rock nice jewelry | and all that sh*t.

I already got a macaroni necklace. | I got valuable sh*t.

I'm not in it for that.

The only kind of sh*t I wanna do | with fame that's decadent...

is I wanna go to Vegas to the $5,000 | blackjack table.

And I don't even wanna play.

I wanna be such a big star that I can | go up to one of the players in a tight hand...

and put my dick on his shoulder.

And I'm such a celebrity, | they think it's funny.

''Hey, what the f***?

''Oh, sh*t, Dave Chappelle!

''Wow.''

He gets on his cell phone:

''You are not gonna believe whose dick | is on my shoulder right now.

''And this guy's balls are as smooth as eggs.

''He's had some work done.''

Couldn't thank you enough. | God bless you all, man.

Keep watching. I'm gonna | try to make it interesting. Stay safe.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Dave Chappelle

David Khari Webber Chappelle (; born August 24, 1973) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. After beginning his film career in 1993 as Ahchoo in Mel Brooks' Robin Hood: Men in Tights, he landed supporting roles in box office hits including The Nutty Professor, Con Air, You've Got Mail, Blue Streak and Undercover Brother. His first lead role was in the 1998 comedy film Half Baked, which he co-wrote with Neal Brennan. Chappelle also starred in the ABC TV series Buddies. His comedy focuses on racism, relationship problems, social problems, politics, current events, and pop culture. In 2003, Chappelle became more widely known for his sketch comedy television series, Chappelle's Show, also co-written with Brennan, which ran until his retirement from the show two years later. After leaving the show, Chappelle returned to performing stand-up comedy across the U.S.In 2016 he signed a $20 million-per-release comedy-special deal with Netflix, which has released four of his specials.By 2006, Chappelle was called the "comic genius of America" by Esquire and, in 2013, "the best" by a Billboard writer. In 2017, Rolling Stone ranked him No. 9 in their "50 Best Stand Up Comics of All Time." Chappelle was awarded an Emmy Award for his guest appearance on Saturday Night Live In 2017. He received a Grammy Award for his Netflix specials The Age of Spin & Deep in the Heart of Texas. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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