De vierde Man

---

The Fourth Man

Old drunk.

I'm off. To give a talk in Vlissingen.

- Be back late.

- Bye.

Can I... Give me the car keys.

It's my turn to have the car this week.

Then drive me to the station.

You've got healthy young legs,

haven't you?

The paper, please.

What's with the magazine?

Put it back.

Stuff it!

Coffee, rolls, beer, sherry!

Care for some beer or sherry, sir?

- Coffee... please.

- Just coffee?

There's wine... red wine.

I said coffee, damn it!

Take it easy, it's coming.

One coffee, sir.

- That's just right.

- Yes, so you don't have to think.

Can't you shut the damn door!

Oh, don't cry.

Is my little darling teething...

JESUS IS EVERYWHERE

Want Mom to peel you an apple?

Look at the pretty long peel.

Oh, no! The tomato juice!

The carton's bust... what a mess!

Hush, Mom will clean it up.

Easy, darling, it'll be alright.

Hello, my little man.

Good evening, I'm Gerard Reve.

Have you come for me?

Come for you?!

I doubt it, sir.

You still look pretty healthy.

This can hardly be you!

Hey, stop! Stop!

But it is me!

It says Gerard.

My name's Gerard too.

That's me.

This one died in Spain, in Benidorn.

A beautiful way to die.

Is there such a thing as

a beautiful death?

Dying in bed,

that's what I call beautiful.

On top of some Senora that is.

It's like you were there.

A young fellow too, about your age.

Mr. Reve!

Luckily I know your face from TV!

I'm De Vries.

Sorry I'm late, they needed me.

You're here, that's the main thing.

My car's out there.

I thought they had come for me,

to get me.

Do your thoughts often

relate to death?

Constantly.

Thinking of death I cannot sleep and

not sleeping I must think of death.

And life flees as it fled and

all being was once created to unbe.

Bloem! 1887-1966.

You know your poets, don't you?

You're not addressing

barbarians tonight.

Have you ever appeared for us

in the past?

- Not that I recall.

- You recall only pleasant things.

Well, our members are all

very interested in literature.

Many old fraternity members,

from Leiden largely.

Old?! And deaf?

Will I have to speak up?

No, the hall has excellent

sound equipment.

I've presented the odd thing

there myself.

- A bit of a writer yourself?

- Off and on.

For pleasure?

- I wrote for the alma mater annual.

- And then you keep doing it, eh?

One is bound to reflect on life and

death, especially in my profession.

Not as profoundly as a

creative artist, of course.

No...

Shall I take your coat?

I'll introduce you to the Board

at intermission.

Can we start right away?

Recovered?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to

our 6th presentation this season.

Tonight, we have a well-known and

controversial author in our midst.

Gerard Reve.

Thank you for accepting

our invitation, Mr. Reve.

It's going to be great.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give the floor to Gerard Reve.

When I arrived at

Vlissingen Station tonight...

...they were unloading a coffin

from the train.

A gigantic coffin.

So large that it didn't fit

into a regular hearse...

... but had to be loaded on a truck.

There were some thirty dwarfs

standing around it...

...they were no taller than this.

They were members of a circus act...

...who were going to bury their

colleague, the world's tallest man.

A grotesque tragedy, don't you think?

But why am I telling you this?

What is so special about this story?

That there is no circus in town.

Exactly... I invented most of it.

Yes, there was a coffin,

but an ordinary one.

Of a man who died in Benidorn

of an overdose of...

... love.

No dwarfs, no giant, nothing.

But...

.. if I tell the dwarf story often enough,

I'll start to believe it myself.

And that, I think,

is the essence of my writing.

I lie the truth.

Until I no longer know whether

something did or did not happen.

That's when it gets exciting.

What you make of reality...

... is infinitely more interesting

than reality itself.

The cards, ladies and gentlemen!

To note down your questions

for after the intermission...

... so Mr. Reve can answer them

one by one.

Have you had a drink yet?

No, not yet. Who is the lady

that keeps filming me?

Oh, our treasurer.

May I introduce you?

Christine Halslag.

She'll give you your fee afterwards.

Get Mr. Reve a drink,

I've got to collect the cards!

Waiter!

You flatter me. All that film footage...

Yes, I thought:
such a celebrity

is not going to escape me.

Celebrity...

...that doesn't buy you

a square meal in Holland.

- Is it that bad?

- Worse.

The 250 you're paying me for this

is a windfall.

- Would you autograph your book?

- Sure.

I'll get you a drink.

I loved your talk.

- Good. Buy my other books too.

- I certainly will.

This is on the house.

Tomato juice?

A bloody Mary with lots of vodka.

The bartender has a liberal hand.

But I'm not a drinker,

the odd glass of wine...

- I'll get you a soft drink.

- Leave it, I'll make do with this.

Are you going back to

Amsterdam tonight?

Depends on the number of questions,

if I can catch the train.

We've booked you into a hotel,

just in case.

I hate hotel rooms,

they're like torture chambers.

But it's the best hotel in town.

Look.

There it is.

Anything wrong?

It's first class.

VI P's always stay there.

A hotel to hang yourself in.

What else can you do there?

You can read the Bible of course...

... or jack yourself off, right?

As you like.

You could also stay with me.

Depends on the number of questions.

If I can catch the train.

Exactly.

You always write in first person :

I this... I that...

Are you at all interested

in your fellow man?

I...

Fellow men are so vague.

A writer, like anyone, is involved

with only a few people.

Yet even them I can't encompass...

... and I project things into them

that don't exist. Next question.

You always call yourself

a Roman Catholic.

How can a sensible person in this day

of modern technology be a Catholic?

How can you be sensible

and not be a Catholic?

Catholic doesn't equate with stupid.

Being Catholic means

having imagination.

Scientific discoveries are

the product of imagination.

So all science is Catholic.

Next question.

Do you agree that every creative

artist is basically a bit disturbed?

The questioner wonders if

I'm a bit crazy?

Not me, I'm very normal.

My madness is limited to

reading the paper.

For when it says "boom"

I read "doom".

And for "flood" I read "blood"

and for "red"... "dead".

Is that crazy?

Just poor eyesight, that's all.

Next question.

That was the last question.

DONATE YOUR BLOOD

TO THE RED CROSS

SPI DER:

The sign's on the blink.

Has been for a while.

They're slow at fixing things

nowadays.

What is it?

I know nothing about perfume,

but this is sublime.

- It's my own brand.

- Delicious.

Life is great!

Come.

Look at the moon.

You can always see it

beautifully from here.

Not it.

- She.

- She?

Moon is feminine.

The moon is our mother.

She protects us, guards over us.

You really believe that, Gerard?

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