Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Page #5

Maybe learn something

about Carlotta.

I learned fast. Jarrett had a prison

break planned that very night.

I was invited along... at gunpoint.

When they stuffed me in the trunk...

I realised he was a friend of

Carlotta, and I was their enemy.

Ryley, you get in the front.

And you, you drive.

I bounced along in that

trunk a long time.

Five hours later, I had given up hope of

ever going to a regular bathroom again.

I decided to have a little

chat with Captain Jarrett.

Hey, Cody!

- How ya doin', partner?

- I can't breathe.

Stuffy?

- I'll give you a little air.

- Thanks.

Her lips were warm, and my arm wasn't

the only thing that was throbbing.

Our hearts were, too.

My plan was to kiss her with

every lip on my face...

Then slowly move her to the next room,

maneuver her next to the bed...

Marry her, and start

the whoopee machine.

My plan was working fine until...

Agh! You stuck your

finger in my bullet hole.

- Sorry, Rigby.

- I'll be all right.

Why don't you lie down?

I'll go to the drugstore and get

you something for your arm.

It's raining too hard.

Call a cab. Hurry back.

I feel like kissing somebody.

Don't start without me.

Hello?

- It's me, Margaret.

- Who?

- Margaret.

- Margaret?

Margaret Croyden.

Margaret Croyden?

I don't believe it!

- I don't believe you'd call me.

- I'd have called sooner...

- You shouldn't call at all.

- It's so quiet here.

Victor's gone for

the weekend?

Sorry. Not interested.

Because I'm in love.

Yeah, really in love.

A few days ago I said something to

a woman I thought I'd never say.

I actually said "I want to settle down

in an ivy-covered cottage with you..."

Rake leaves out of the backyard...

"... squeeze orange juice

for you in the morning."

I spoke to Victor. He'll

give me the divorce.

I'll tell you what. Come down

tomorrow. We'll drive back together.

Wonderful! I can't wait to come

bouncing back into your life again.

No dice, Margaret. Call

me in another 12 years.

All right, darling.

- Hello?

- Mr Reardon...

I have decided to close this

case as of this moment.

A check will be in the

mail for you tomorrow.

Please do not try to contact me as

I will be out of town for some time.

Juliet, has someone got

a gun to your head?

Juliet!

A half-bottle of bourbon later

I still couldn't believe it.

Was Juliet crazy like her sister?

Had she fallen in love with the cab

driver on the way to the drugstore?

Or was she a member of the Carlotta

conspiracy and had set me up?

Finally, I arrived at a

very important conclusion.

Sh*t on her!

All dames are alike.

They reach down your throat,

grab your heart... and pull it out.

They throw it on the floor... and they

step on it with their high heels.

They spit on it, shove it in the

oven, then cook the sh*t out of it.

They slice it into little pieces,

slam it on a hunk of toast...

And they serve it to ya.

They expect you to say "Thanks,

honey, it's delicious."

Well, it's not delicious,

Juliet Forrest.

It's rotten.

I don't give a damn if

I ever hear from you again.

- Juliet?

- This is Alan.

Alan?

- Come on, Marlowe, no games.

- I never could fool you, could I?

No.

Listen, Marlowe.

Juliet left me, and...

I feel like I've been hit

with a wet frying pan.

How the hell do you

pick up the pieces?

I'm beginning to realise it's better

to have something to look forward to.

"Look forward to." Like what? Work?

I can't get a break on this case.

I don't even know who the

hell this Carlotta dame is.

Can you get a map of South America?

- Yeah. You got something?

- Look up Peru.

Got it!

There's a little town on

the coast called Paita.

Tell me where it is.

It's right next to a tiny

little island called...

You son of a gun! Carlotta!

Damn! It's not a woman's name.

It's a place.

- Thanks, Marlowe. I owe ya.

- Good.

I'm leaving for Carlotta right now.

Even if Juliet's gone, I'm

gonna solve this case...

No matter how many killers are

involved, even if Juliet's one of 'em.

Any idea where in Carlotta

I should start looking?

There's a little caf

right on the bay.

When I arrived, I thought of the words

Marlowe had said to me 15 years ago:

"Dead men don't wear plaid."

Dead men don't wear plaid.

I still don't know what it means.

Carlotta was the kind of town where

they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L...

and if you try to correct

them, they kill you.

I knew Marlowe had

steered me right.

There was Kitty Collins, the girl

who ditched me in Santa Barbara.

Seor Reardon.

Manuel Alesandro.

Not quite.

Carlos Rodriguez.

- Carlos Rodriguez?

- S.

Before the war... we ran

guns to the rebels.

Yeah.

You're a cop.

S, s, s.

I have joined the establishment.

That's good, Carlos. I'm here on an

investigation. Maybe you can help me.

There is much to

investigate in Carlotta.

The whole island is

like a powder keg.

There is much tension, the...

the smell of something rotten.

That's what I'm here for. To

find out what it is that smells.

Psst!

Be careful of the,

fat one who sweats a lot.

What about Kitty Collins?

She doesn't sweat as much,

but she's just as dangerous.

They say she is one of them.

Who is... "them"?

Nobody knows. Only they

know who is "them".

But there is a man. His

name is Arroz. Rice.

Kitty Collins is in love with him.

He is a killer.

Rice?

- Thanks, Carlos.

- De nada, seor.

- Where are you staying?

- Hotel Guano.

Ha! I'll be in touch.

Cuidado, Seor Reardon.

Cuidado, Carlos... Cuidado.

I wanted Kitty Collins to

tell "them" I was in town...

So I tossed a five-pesetaria

coin into the bowl.

The clank was loud enough

to make her look my way.

That five-pesetaria coin was the

best investment I ever made.

The next day, I hooked a big fish:

A fat one who sweats a lot.

- Seor?

- Nothing alcoholic. A beer, maybe.

S, seor.

Hard liquor goes to my feet.

Just a minute, Mr Rigby.

We know who you are, Mr Rigby.

I'm interested. Who am I?

You could be a guy

who collects $10,000...

Just to leave this stinkin' town.

- I could, could I?

- You know who I could be?

Hunchback of Notre Dame?

I could be the guy who

hands ya... them $10,000.

$10,000. Me to you...

just like that.

Sorry. My price for leaving

stinking towns is 11,500...

And a kiss on the lips

from Carmen Miranda.

Pass it on to "them". Room 204.

Room 204, seora.

Come in.

Right on time, Kitty.

Been expecting ya.

Thought you'd come last night.

- I wasn't thinking too well last night.

- Keep talking.

You see, I just found

out something, Rigby.

Who you are, what you do,

and why you're in Carlotta.

I'm here to bust up your game.

I don't get it. A class girl like you

in love with a killer like Rice.

Who... what... why?

When you love someone...

I guess it doesn't make any

difference who, what or why.

You go right on loving them.

Yeah, you do, don't ya?

I feel as if...

Make me another drink,

will you, baby?

Hello?

- What's up, amigo?

- Plenty.

A plane arrived today, and all

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