Dealin' with Idiots Page #3

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We were just talking

about that.

How much like

sponges they are.

And I will help write it, act

it, shoot it,

I don't know how to do

any of that stuff...

They just keep absorbing.

But I'll tell you what, I

work at a copy shop,

in case you didn't know.

And I think you did.

Uh, and we can make

copies of he script there.

And then you can hand

them out next week,

and we'll learn our lines

and do it.

What's the title?

What's the script?

Well, no no,

I don't know yet.

Is it from a book?

No, it's gonna be from the

research that I do

when I spend time with...

What's the rating?

Oh, dear God.

Oh, that's wrong.

What's up, guys?

He wants to uh, do, some

research on my method

of uh, coaching. He's

watching,

he's paid attention. I think

he sees what I'm doing...

It's a great idea.

All right guys,

talk to you later.

Right on, man.

Why is it, whenever he

works with Rickey,

he's gotta take off his

shirt?

He's hot.

The man gets hot, he

wants to take his shirt off.

Did you ever hear of

shirts and skins?

Yeah I've heard of shirts

and skins, playing football.

He does it in life.

That's what it is.

Those who can do skins, do

skins.

Those who can't do skins,

they don't do skins.

- What side are you on?

- I'm clearly on the shirts side.

See?

Except when I shower.

Work on the slide!

Because Jimbo says so,

thats why!

Don't answer me back!

Run through the base!

Through the bases!

All right, so what I'm

gonna be doing is that

I got the blessing from...

I got the blessing from

Commissioner Gordon.

It's research for

a comedy movie

that I might or might not

even write.

So it might not

even happen.

I'm just sort of getting to

know everybody

and seeing if there's a

movie there

about the parents and the

coaches and such.

So you show up,

do research,

interview everybody, for

something that might not happen?

Yes. That's the first thing

you nailed exactly.

Sounds like a waste of time

to me.

Uh, if we don't win the

championship,

I'm gonna pull the plug,

so...

I'm not shooting a movie!

It's gotta end with us

winning, or I'm not, uh...

- A waste of time.

- ... approve.

I'm not gonna sign off

on it.

Either of you wanna be

interviewed?

- I do!

- You do?

I'm doing you first.

You're #1.

Number one on my

interview list. First.

All right, see you guys

later.

Hey, could I have, uh,

everybody's attention,

just for one second. It's

not a big deal. Umm...

As some of you... hey!

Some of you know, uh...

I am a comedian.

And I have decided that

there might be some...

material here ripe for

comedy. I'm going to...

It's a lot of steps to it.

But I'm gonna do some research,

spend some time with you,

and umm...

get to know you a little bit.

Uh...

for possibly my next movie

project.

Excuse me, Orson Welles?

I have to go on record in

front of all the other parents,

saying that I refuse

to take part in this.

That's okay.

Good.

I'm not saying, "I don't

wanna do it. " I'm just...

I just wanna be clear

because this hap...

I fell for this one ti...

This isn't one of those, you

get in a room...

"You're so pretty, you're so

pretty. Take your top off.

I'm gonna film you" kinda

thing, is it?

That is so far from...

my intentions...

What are some of the

questions you'll be asking us?

You talking to me?

You talking about me?

I'm talking to you, about

your job, about your life...

Why would that possibly,

possibly be of interest?

Well, we'll see after I talk...

When I'm all done,

it could not be interesting.

There's a great chance of it

not being interesting at all

and I won't make a movie.

Well, I'm very excited.

I'd like to go first.

Unfortunately,

I have offered that up

to coach Jimbo.

Why?!

Because he's first,

I talked to him first.

But I'm asking...

I'm the first to ask.

I'll have undue pressure.

I don't know,

I don't know what I'm

gonna be talking...

Pressure from what?!

Because you're gonna be

interviewing.

There'll be a camera in my

face.

I'm not filming you.

I am just hanging out with

you. There's no pressure.

Max, can I recommend an

actress to play me?

Halle Berry.

Halle Berry.

And for Manny, I don't care

who, who,

just as long as it's not one

of the, the f***in' Will,

one of Will Smith's kids.

Are we invited to the

premiere?

This is very exciting.

Yeah. All right, I'm uh... I'm

just...

Just watch them practice.

I'm good. That's all I need.

Work on the slide, baby!

Slide!

Thank you, Coach Ted.

Thank you, everybody.

Uh, I guess whatever

he asks me.

Get it up!

You didn't talk to anyone?

I have not talked to

anyone.

I am talking to you first.

No one has been talked to.

You are #1.

[exhales loudly]

This is it.

All About Printing.

The owners had a real uh...

foresight, you know,

because they didn't wanna

limit it. All About Printing.

So it can be printing,

copies,

Anything that's

about printing.

Anything! It's about,

or even,

marginally associated

with printing...

- We can do.

- Mmm-hmm.

Or we can... potentially do.

We don't have, we don't

necessarily do it now.

But it's uh, the hub. And

this right here,

is my command center.

This is where I

operate everything...

In this whole, everybody

can hear me, see?

It's not so big that

they can't hear me

So I can just shout from

here

and everybody hears me.

[bells chimes]

Everyone can hear that

bell. No, no. No, no.

Oh.

I'm standing here

If you see the bell go off,

or hear the bell go off,

and I'm standing here, you

don't need to come up.

I'll handle the customer.

Oh, when my uncle hired

me he told me...

Katie, put it away.

[laughs]

And I'll tell you what, the

reason that I coach

the kids, is because

I'm in charge here, okay?

Mmm-hmm.

All About Printing.

And, it's... a... madhouse.

- It is a madhouse.

- Mmm-hmm.

You know, and baseball is

pastoral.

And it's quiet and it's calm,

you know?

And the kids are out there,

and they're dropping the ball,

and they're not hitting it

and uh...

So it's not really

about the kids,

it's more about you

and getting your release.

Yeah, it's about getting

the... it's about release

And it all comes from here.

All comes from working

here.

And the customers that

come in and...

Do you know something

here?

Do you know the insurance

bill on this place?

Let me tell you something,

pal. Okay?

That machine right there,

is German precision.

And it can print about...

[yelling] Hey, hey hey! You

can't come back here!

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry

to yell.

Stay behind that line,

would ya?

- W-what, what line? -

Imaginary line, right here.

From that counter to that

counter.

Across. All right.

Stay behind it.

I'm right... I'm good.

- Insurance.

- Mmm-hmm.

- Safety.

- Mmm-hmm.

So I love get... hitting the

field after a week of this,

Because of the runaround

at this place.

and the pressure.

The pres... Listen...

to the traffic out there.

You can hear every car

and bus.

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