Devil's Due Page #3

and iron, since you're a vegetarian.

Mmm-hmm.

ZACH:
Yeah, I've been trying

to break her of that.

It's for the baby.

Mmm-hmm.

But, overall,

you're pretty healthy.

I'm expecting a pretty

smooth ride, here.

ZACH:
Awesome.

Great.

- Okay?

- ZACH:
Thank you.

DR. LUDKA:
One more thing.

ZACH:
Ooh.

Congratulations.

The due date is March 30th.

ZACH:
Hey, he looks like you.

He doesn't!

ZACH:
A little jelly bean.

Ooh, Will you hold this?

(DR. LUDKA LAUGHS)

Oh, sure.

It's our first family video.

Oh, sweet.

That's awesome.

Sorry. Thanks.

(ALL LAUGHING)

DR. LUDKA:
All right, I expect

you guys back in five weeks.

ZACH:
I think

Maverick drank my wine.

(SAMANTHA CHUCKLES)

Aw, Mav, he's such a lush.

ZACH:
Hey, have your ankles

and toes started swelling up?

SAMANTHA:
Oh, my God,

with the ankles.

Yes, they're swelling up.

I read in the baby book, it says

that those things swell sometimes.

They do. My entire thing

is swelling right now.

It looks good.

You could use a little

meat on your bones.

Mmm-mmm.

I don't like it.

ZACH:
Hey, ew.

I mean, whoa.

What? Oh, God.

ZACH:
You haven't noticed that?

No, what is that?

Oh.

Does it hurt?

No, I think my body is being

taken over by hormones.

Ugh, this is not supposed to be

happening yet. Don't look at that.

All these weird things

are gonna happen to you.

You're making a person

inside of your person.

(CHUCKLES) Seriously,

that's amazing.

Sam.

Mmm?

You're making a baby.

I can't do that.

Yeah.

(SAMANTHA SNORING)

(ZACH SIGHS)

(SNIFFS)

Mmm.

(MAVERICK WHINES)

ZACH:
Oh, she woke you up?

Yeah. So, your mother snores.

Even though she

categorically denies it.

But we now have hard evidence.

So, if she ever

denies it again...

Oh, hey. Sam.

Sam, hey.

Jesus, Sam.

Sam.

Hey.

(MOANS)

Go to sleep.

ZACH:
What are you doing?

Hello.

ZACH:
They're getting restless.

So, I'll leave it to Sam.

We're having a baby.

(ALL CHEERING)

Oh, my God!

(ZACH LAUGHS)

What?

MR. MCCALL:
We get to

be grandparents again.

Stop.

SUZIE:
Congratulations.

Flip it. Flip that card that

you just had in your hand.

Thank you. Seven,

king, so I get it.

(ZACH LAUGHS)

Tofu?

ZACH:
What did

you think it was?

I wish you wouldn't have

told me it was tofu.

I mean, did they do a sonogram?

SAMANTHA:
Oh, yeah.

Did you get a picture?

SAMANTHA:
She wants a picture

to show everybody immediately.

MRS. MCCALL:
Oh, ultrasound.

If you go with a C-section, your

body just bounces right back.

- Great.

- What?

Natalie, why don't you try to not

micro-manage their entire thing?

I checked under the fridge.

It's not there.

You lifted the fridge up?

I looked under it.

We'll find it.

I couldn't find it.

When I do, I'll email it to you.

I hope you find it.

SAMANTHA:
We Will.

I'm just gonna be on

pins and needles to see it.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God, Sam,

you're bleeding.

Oh, God.

Oh, jeez, here.

ZACH:
Sam, here you go.

This is clean.

Tilt your head back.

(ALL MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

ZACH:
This is where

you'll go to school.

I got beat up here

a couple times,

but that's not gonna

happen to you.

You're gonna be

a much cooler kid.

(BELLS TOLLING)

Ah, this is where me

and your mom got married.

Very pretty church.

This is where we walk the dog.

Here's the Anderson house.

It still looks like sh*t.

Sh*t, f***. Maverick!

(BARKING)

(GRUNTS)

Maverick, God damn.

Hey, hey. Maverick!

(BARKING CONTINUES)

Come here. Hey, no, no.

No, no, we don't live here.

Come on.

(GROWLING)

All right, come on.

Come on.

This is your house.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

That's your room

up there on the left.

Your granddad says

that it's a money pit...

but it's got good bones.

Sh*t.

Hey

Hey.

Do you think this

looks too mish-mash?

Um...

Do you want the truth?

- ZACH:
I'm giving our baby a tour of the house.

- SAMANTHA:
Yeah?

Hey, that's not the house.

Sorry.

ZACH:
And the grand

finale, your room.

Formerly known as

your mother's office.

(SAMANTHA CHUCKLES)

But now we are converting.

Thank you for giving up your office.

Mmm-hmm. Whoa!

SAMANTHA:
Jeez. (CHUCKLES)

Watch it, there.

I study on the couch all the time,

anyway, so it's not a big deal.

It's a pretty good room, though.

She really didn't do anything in

it, so I think it's only fair.

It's gonna be

kind of cool, though.

You and I are gonna

hang in here.

SAMANTHA:
Hey.

- Do you see this guy across the street?

- ZACH:
Huh?

SAMANTHA:
He's just

staring up at the house.

ZACH:
What the f***?

SAMANTHA:
Oh, it's creepy.

- ZACH:
Hey.

- SAMANTHA:
Hi.

- How was class?

- Ow!

Ugh. It was fine. I just had

to leave because I'm starving.

I think there's some

leftover Pad Thai in there.

I know, I don't want that.

Okay.

(GRUNTS)

Um...

I'm just gonna eat a bunch of cookies.

(ZACH CHUCKLES)

How are you feeling?

Fine.

I'm just hungry.

(SAMANTHA IMITATES DRUM ROLL)

EMILY:
All right.

Whoo! Get ready.

ZACH:
Hey, no!

Oh!

- SAMANTHA:
What?

- EMILY:
Hello?

I told you that

this was off-limits

until I told you that

it was on-limits.

SAMANTHA:
But it's just Emily,

I want her to see it.

EMILY:
It looks so good.

- I don't care about Emily, I care about you.

- EMILY:
Oh.

- Okay. Thanks.

- SAMANTHA:
Great.

Are you guys gonna

pick a color or...?

SAMANTHA:
One of these days.

EMILY:
This looks

really good, though.

- Oh, look! Oh, my God.

- ZACH:
Yep.

- SAMANTHA:
That's really nice.

- EMILY:
You made that?

ZACH:
It's gonna

look way better.

SAMANTHA:
You're doing a great job.

I'm very proud of you.

(EMILY CHUCKLES)

- Well, here's the crib.

- SAMANTHA:
Uh-huh.

- Hey!

- SAMANTHA:
Oh, wow.

That looks really good.

ZACH:
Yeah, we got it at the antique

place and then I brought it home...

and sanded it down and

refinished it and stuff.

Made it baby-safe.

I know you're big

on baby safety.

EMILY:
Yeah, it looks great.

SAMANTHA:
Cute sheets.

(GROANS)

ZACH:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I got you. Okay.

- SAMANTHA:
Ah!

I got you. Sit down.

Are you okay?

EMILY:
It happened

this morning, too.

This bad?

Mmm-hmm.

- Hey. Just breathe, okay?

- Mmm.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

EMILY:
Lie down, maybe?

Are you sure?

I'll just sit here

for a sec. (EXHALES)

In...

(ALL INHALE)

and out.

(ALL EXHALE)

In...

Do you see what

I'm doing for you?

I'm learning how to breathe.

(SAMANTHA INHALES LOUDLY)

(BOTH EXHALE)

You might actually have to

know some of this stuff.

ZACH:
I know this stuff.

I know how to breathe.

Okay. I know that you know how to

breathe, but there's other stuff.

(INHALES)

Okay.

(CHUCKLES)

Stop!

INSTRUCTOR:
You are strong.

You are healthy.

Your body is going through

a beautiful transformation.

(WHISPERING)

That's a load of sh*t.

INSTRUCTOR:
I want you all to imagine

a place that's calming, quiet.

Make it a specific memory.

Where are you?

(WHISPERING) On the

beach on our honeymoon.

INSTRUCTOR:
How old are you?

Are you alone?

Breathe into this memory

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