Devil's Trail Page #5

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mess with our campsite. - I don't hear anything, man. Look, if you're so worried about it, just, all right, here's what we'll do. We'll put up the deer camera,

it'll detect any movement. Well, that was a night. - That was a night. But uh... Hey. That's uh... Looks a little weird. What is that? I don't know. What do you, what do you think it is? It--

- I don't know. It's just hanging off the tree. Well I mean it's, it's creepy. Like, why would it be here? Why would there be kids playing in the deepest part of the trail? I don't know,

what should I do with it? Like--

- Throw it away. Or keep it, who cares? I'm gonna, I'm gonna toss it. - You can do whatever you

want with it, I don't care. It freaks me out a little bit. I don't want it. All right, uh... Let's keep, let's keep the pace, right? - Yeah.

- Yeah. Hey uh, remember when we were

in the Scottish Highlands? And your pants got, got

so full of thistles, you had to walk around

half naked for two days? - Okay, you need to stop talking. Please stop talking. Why do you have to make

everything into a joke? We're in a bit of a situation. We have to find food right now. Your joking is not helping, okay? - Well, your slingshot didn't

help either, but I didn't scream at you over it.

- Yes it does. Yes it does. I have hunted, I've, I

have killed a lot of things with that slingshot, okay? - Tell that to my growling stomach. I'm sick of your attitude. You, you're an internet celebrity. I know a little bit more about this than you do, okay?

- Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't have the hunting and survival experience necessary, right? Right, yeah. Well, let's-let's-let's figure that out. Let's do a wager that matters out here. I'll tell you what. How about this? We'll split up. First one to find food doesn't

have to dig the latrine. - Deal. - All right. Good luck. See you at sundown. A**hole. So, I just want to say

I have a secret weapon that Dallas doesn't know about. And I'm going to get,

uh, something good to eat pretty easily, with any luck. Luck is a big part of surviving out here. So uh, what we've got here, is a nice, a nice creek. And uh... I think I know what I need to do to get some food out of it. Certain kinds of fish like

to hide in the shallows, kind of where there, there are shadows. And uh, if you sit long enough,

if you're quiet long enough, you can actually catch one

using your hands as bait. It's called noodling, uh, which is illegal in some areas, uh, because it can be a little dangerous. But when you're in a

life or death situation, you just dip your hands in the

freezing cold water and hope. So... It is way too cold. One of the secrets to noodling, other than being very quiet is uh, you have to wait it out. And this water is making it

extremely difficult to do that. I hope the camera caught that sound. I don't know what it was but uh, I intend to find out. - I will show him that you can in fact make the slingshot into

a formidable weapon. It is really, really cold out here. My fingers are frozen solid. So, I think it may be affecting my ability to do this very well. Whatever he's doing, I can assure you, it is not as effective as this. He will most definitely fail. I'm gonna get that squirrel. Still nothing--

- Dallas! You've gotta see this! All right. This looks ominous, a little bit. Kind of your stereotypical

abandoned campsite. But uh-- Oh, what do we have here? Oh, thank you! What'd you find? Oh man. - Oh man.

- Not a whole lot, to be honest. Uh, looks like... Somebody didn't uh, end

up staying very long. They don't have a-- Yeah, no tent, no

fire, but they gathered wood. They clearly ate a couple meals. Uh, look at

the food in these pots. I don't like this. Uh, this worries me a little bit. Maybe somebody got sick of it. I mean, I'm pretty sick of it already. - Well I don't know why they'd

leave this stuff here though. I mean, that's perfectly good stuff, that's perfectly good equipment. I don't know why they'd

just leave that here. I don't know, but

I do have some good news. - Look what I found. - Spam, nice. You know what this means? I found food first. I mean, unless you got a

squirrel in your backpack. - No, you didn't. - Yeah I did, I'm afraid--

- You did not find food. This is food. - That is food, we will eat it. I will not give you

credit for finding food. You found it in that backpack, didn't you? - Well, if you're not hungry, then I guess I didn't find food. All right, there's yours portioned out. Multiple portions. Look at that. Oh!

- This still does not count as you finding food, I'm sorry. - This is pure protein,

exactly what you need to survive in the wilderness. No. Look, listen to me,

I'm not trying to b*tch about having to dig the latrine, I'm just saying that you

coming across this food is not the same as me going

out with, you know, with a, a slingshot. - Just try it, don't be a baby. You're such an elitist. Eat the food of the people. It's Spam, enjoy it. Man. See? It's not that bad, is it? - I'd rather have the lichen on the floor. Where's my light? Did you see that? I saw something. Maybe we should uh... Try to make the fire bigger. I think uh... - I don't know, but I-I-I noticed earlier, the clouds were getting a bit rough, and I'm afraid in the morning,

the fire's gonna be out and we won't be able to start it again. Dallas? Dallas? Dallas, where are you? F***, maybe it's... Maybe it's coyotes. Jesus! Jesus Christ, where were you? Where the f*** were you? - I went to the bathroom, man. I was right over there. Were you looking for me? I yelled your

name, and you didn't, you didn't call out or anything! - I didn't hear anything. You all right? Something happen? What happened? I don't know what it was, man... What are you talking about? I thought maybe

there were coyotes. - So I--

- I don't think so. I mean--

- I tried... I tried hollering to get them to go. Nevermind. - I don't hear anything.

- Nevermind. Just go back to, go back to sleep. Good morning to be alive. Okay, here we go. Uh, so... Um... So the uh, the sleet and wintery

mix we've been experiencing on and off seemed to come, it felt like every 20

minutes to 25 minutes while we were sleeping. Uh, it kept everything

nice and uh, and moist, very hard to burn. So uh, our flint firestarter

was pretty much useless, so we had a nice... A nice night with no fire. And uh... That was great. Uh... - I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone, please. - Folks, if you ever

wondered why after, uh, about six episodes of

season one, all of a sudden, I showed up on the program, it might be because I'm willing

to talk about my problems. It raises a fair point, which is about your psychological

condition in the wild. Seriously? This is what you're gonna do right now? You know, you're being a diva

right now and I'm being-- - I'm not being a diva.

- I'm trying-- You're being a

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