Devil's Whisper

---

Amn.

Can you believe it? Ugh.

They gave me a ticket

for parking the engine

in front of a hydrant.

No, no, no,

i was not on a call.

I was getting

a sandwich to go,

but that's not the point.

You're not listening.

The point is,

you can't give

a fireman a ticket,

because he parks a fire truck

in front of a hydrant.

I gotta go. I gotta

finish cooking breakfast

for my kids.

Okay, prayer.

Dear god, thank you

for this food

and for the man who made it.

Thanks for my, uh, beautiful

daughter's painting,

and my wife's beautiful dress.

Am I forgetting something? Oh!

My son,

for his confirmation.

We're all very proud of him,

and for the awesome wave

we just made.

All right! Amen.

Why do we have to waste

our time at church?

I can confirm Alex right now.

I confirm that Alex duran

has a crush on...

Lia Abram.

What?

I do not!

You got a girlfriend, buddy?

Congratulations.

You are crazy.

You are absolved

from all your sins.

Okay.

Now you're absolved

from all your sins!

- Ay, Alicia!

- Sorry, daddy.

Alex, will you go get another

carton for me in the garage?

And be careful

with grandma's stuff.

Did you get lost in here?

We're late.

Sorry, dad.

What is that?

Found it in grandma's

big armoire.

There's something

inside of it,

but no way to open it.

That's impossible. Here.

Can I have it?

Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Consider it your grandmother's

confirmation gift to you.

We were supposed

to leave by 8:
30!

Sh*t!

You said the "s" word.

That'll cost you $5.

You're killing me.

What do I owe you now?

- 45 bucks.

- Sh*t.

Now it's 50.

Pay up, sucker.

Hey, I almost forgot

to tell you guys.

We have rats in the garage.

- Are they cute?

- Far from it.

Honey, remind me

to call the exterminator.

Bless me, father,

for I have sinned.

I snuck into an r-rated movie

with my friends,

lied to my parents,

disobeyed my mom.

What movie did you see?

Mad Max.

Mmm.

I love that film.

I'm sorry, Alex.

Go on, please.

I've had unclean thoughts

about a girl.

That's normal.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I'm sorry for these

and all of my sins.

Five hail Marys,

five our fathers.

You're now absolved

from these sins, my son.

Thank you, father.

So tell me a little more

about this girl.

I just keep thinking

about her.

I've known her

since third grade.

We grew up together.

So you like her now

as more than just a friend.

I don't know.

I mean, I like

hanging out with her.

She's cool.

I think you should

flip the script on her.

How?

Ask her out on a date.

I thought priests

couldn't date.

You're not a priest, Alex,

at least not yet.

But if you're serious

about becoming one,

you need to know what it is

that you're giving up.

Trust me. I know

what I'm talking about.

I almost got married

before I took my vows,

back in the military.

Alex, I have known you

since the day you were born.

I baptized you.

You're a good kid.

So, ask this girl out.

See if she's more than

just a friend, okay?

Thanks, father.

Confirm, o lord, your servant

with your holy spirit.

Alejandro duran delgado.

Confirm, o lord, your servant

with your holy spirit.

Amen.

Congratulations and prayers,

as you are strengthened

by the holy spirit.

God bless you always.

I mean, it's beautiful.

Whoever made it

is a real craftsman.

But see? There's no seams.

Whatever's in there must've

been sealed from the inside.

How do you do that?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Are you sure you want me

to cut it open?

It may be valuable.

I want to find out

what's inside.

Me too. Let's do it.

Be careful, dad.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I think so.

That was so weird.

What happened?

I don't know.

Wait, wait, wait, look.

I wonder whose it was.

Who knows?

Your grandmother bought

and sold old furniture.

Could've been anybody's.

Why would someone hide it

in a box like that?

That's a good question.

I don't know.

But, it's yours now.

Let's go,

father Flanagan!

What an a**hole.

As a part of our

bare, not legal series,

we approach the home of

16-year-old Lia Abrams.

We shouldn't do this.

Hey, this was

your idea, Alex.

I wanted to ask her

to be in one of

our crazy videos,

not perv out on her

for the Internet.

Yeah, man,

this isn't cool.

We should go.

Screw you guys.

I'm doing this.

Now, we know she's not legal.

The big question is,

is she bare?

Let's find out.

There's no one here.

It's 10 o'clock,

she should be here.

Oh, sh*t, there she is.

- This isn't right, Everett.

- Stop recording.

Hey, shut up.

Look at that. Oh, sh*t.

Come on, Everett,

stop recording.

Hey, Alex,

your dream's coming true.

Shut up

and turn off the camera.

Oh, you like it,

come on.

I said stop it now!

What the...

Come on, dude!

What the f***?

Come on!

Alex?

I tried to stop him.

I expect that sh*t from him,

but not you.

He'll delete it.

I promise.

I'll make sure of it myself.

You better.

You're watching it again?

Told you she had a nice body.

We should just keep it.

Tell her you deleted it.

I'm not

gonna lie to her.

I made her a promise.

No, no, don't!

Don't delete that!

Wait, wait!

Oh, f***!

Hi.

Did he delete it?

He deleted it.

Swear to god?

You know I can't do that,

but I promise.

I made sure of it myself.

So you watched it.

Um...

You look guilty, Alex.

Is there something

you need to confess?

Okay, I watched it,

but only to make sure

that he didn't...

I didn't know you were

such a bad boy, Alex.

I'm not.

All right, bad boy,

I got to go.

Good night.

Wait.

What are you doing

Saturday night?

Are you asking me

out on a date?

Yeah, I am.

I thought we were

just friends.

Uh, I mean, we are, but...

Pick me up at seven.

I don't have my license yet.

Yeah, right, um...

I'll pick you up at seven.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Are you contagious?

No, I don't think so.

If you're contagious,

you need to sanitize

everything you touch.

It's just an upset stomach.

I think

you have ebola.

I don't have ebola.

Look, just tell father cutler

I'll be right down.

Father cutler,

Alex says he'll be right down!

O holy hosts above,

I call upon thee

as a servant of Jesus Christ

to sanctify our actions

this day in preparation

for the fulfillment

of the will of god.

We ask you that you receive

this child into your arms,

that she may pass in safety

from this crisis.

She wants to know

if she's going to heaven.

Tell her to trust

in the lord, Alex.

He always looks out

for his children.

By this sign,

thou art absolved

from all past errors,

free to take your place

in the world

he's prepared for us,

to dwell in the house

of the lord forever.

Amen.

Amen.

Ow! Goddamn it!

Alex!

Uh, sorry, mom.

I don't know

why I said that.

Where did you get that?

Uh, I found it

in grandma's armoire.

Why?

It was your grandfather's.

Mom, Alex!

Show starts in 10 seconds!

Ten, nine...

Let's go.

Eight, seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one!

I can't believe

you let him keep it.

How was I supposed to know

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