Disconnect

(LOUD DANCE MUSIC THUMPING)

Hey, where you been?

Just getting the mail.

- What's for dinner?

- Champagne and caviar.

BOY 1:
Oh, sh*t,

what'd I get?

This is you in the middle.

BOY 2:
What are those,

new kicks?

Yeah, I think so.

- BOY 1:
Yo, 10 minutes, Call of Duty.

- You're on.

- BOY 1:
It's on, b*tch.

- Hey, Kyle.

Look what some creep sent me.

What's going on, Princess?

This is you.

What's up, kid?

That's you.

Kinda feel like stilettos.

(VIBRATOR BUZZING)

Seriously, Kyle?

I'm in the middle of a show right now.

I'm sorry. I'm just bringing your stuff.

I went to the post office

for you, come on.

That's sick.

All right, who wants to go

private tonight, huh?

Come on, guys.

Keep me entertained.

Just tell me what you're into

and we can go private.

Ball gags.

Yes, Sassy, I'm 18 years old.

Is this your first time

going private?

Whatever you're

in the mood for.

You like my diamond, huh?

Come on, Sassy.

What are you, some sort of chick?

Huh?

I love chicks.

No, I have, actually,

I have lots of hot mommies and daddies.

Did you see my wish list?

That's how you can reward me.

Very clever.

You ask a lot

of questions, girl.

Come on, baby,

what do you want?

What do you want me to do, huh?

Do you want me to jack off for you?

Is that it?

Oh, my God.

You want me to touch myself?

What are you in the mood for?

So you don't.

You don't wanna

see me jack off

or play with these toys

or anything?

You really just wanna...

You just wanna chat.

Boo!

F***ing muscle heads.

- All the veins popping out of his biceps.

- Dude!

- Yeah, but did you see...

- That was good, man.

This is awesome.

So f***ed up, man.

Here he goes.

He's gonna get it.

He's gonna get it.

- That's ours!

- It's ours? It's ours.

- Can I help you? You sure?

- Yeah.

(LAUGHING) Oh, my God!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

The f*** you looking at?

(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)

MAN ON WEBSITE:
Don't do this at home

'cause it's really, really dangerous.

And really, really stupid.

(PEOPLE LAUGH ING)

Is that real?

That's nuts!

This is a job, man. I put you in charge

of these stores and nothing's happening.

Do you have any

kind of answer for me?

I'm really tired

of this sh*t, man.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

CINDY:
Dr. Borland.

Hi.

Really.

Well, we can try again

our next cycle, right?

Thanks, Doctor.

Hey.

So, um...

Dr. Borland said

we could try again.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Can we talk about that

a little later?

- I'm just running a little late.

- Yeah.

(TAPPING CAR HORN)

NINA:
You'd be crazy

not to go for this Internet story.

You gotta remind me again.

Kid. Online.

Chat room.

I know. Look, I don't get it.

He sits there all day?

No. No.

He goes private with people.

He's a bright kid.

He's probably trapped.

One minute. Nina, it just sounds so dark.

It's more of a feature than what you're used to.

That's what I'm...

- Thank you.

- I'm just...

Look. There are thousands

of kids like this.

(SPEAKING INDISCERNIBLY)

I really think this

could be powerful, you know?

It's got sex, it's got heart.

Just let me try,

and I will not complain

about sitting behind

this desk 24/7

writing those fluff pieces you give me.

Yes, you will.

FRYE:
All right.

Dude, I found him. Ben Boyd.

Says he's in 10th grade

at our school.

- JASON:
He's in our grade?

- Yeah.

"Music is my passion.

Everything from Sigur Rs to Radiohead."

What the hell is Sigur Rs?

Who knows? What do we write?

Okay. Write...

"Hi, Ben, my name's Jessica.

I go to Ridgewood."

"Sigur Rs is my fave."

Say something about his song.

Okay. Um...

- "I loved your song on your page."

- All right.

- "Your song was so amazing."

- "It touched me. It's amazing."

- "It touched me." That's good.

- "It touched me."

(DOOR OPENING)

- Hey, guys.

- Hey, Dad.

Hi, Mr. Dixon.

I almost ran this over, genius.

Uh... I'm sorry.

- You're sorry?

- Yeah.

- How was the game?

- Played like Gretzky.

What are you guys doin'?

- Homework.

- Reports.

- Homework?

- Homework.

Homework or that?

Homework on that.

- I'm online.

- Okay. You didn't wear that shirt to school?

- I wore this one over it?

- Yeah?

Yeah.

Are you lying?

- Frye, am I lying?

- I was there.

Yeah? All right.

Frye, I only got

chicken for two,

so you got to get

the hell out of my house.

- Kidding, Frye.

- Oh.

It's okay. My dad wants me home, anyway.

All right, good.

I got two cases to get to, so come on.

- Frye, it was good seeing you.

- You, too, sir.

Look at that.

(WHISPERING)

You know how much Daddy loves you?

What's up, Mommy?

Look at that.

(COMPUTER CHIMES)

(VOCALIZING MELODY)

The guy's got a non-compete

clause and it's pretty airtight.

I understand that.

What, are they just

gonna sue the guy and ask questions later?

Right. Well, they can't do that.

So, just have him call

McCortland & Partridge

and we'll work something out, okay?

Like a settlement, come on.

Put your fangs away.

All right. Bye.

Hey, kiddo, where's Mom?

Hey, she's upstairs, I think.

What about Mozart?

At his piano. Where else?

Huh.

(PLAYS PIANO)

Now what are you doing?

(CHUCKLES)

Lean Cuisine again?

You really need to mix it up.

I'm a student of the world,

baby.

Mm-hmm.

I don't know.

F***, no. Come on.

Let's go cam-to-cam.

That way I get to see you, too.

This isn't fair, come on.

Don't be shy.

I'm not going to

charge you anything more.

It costs the same price.

Come on.

It's easy,

just click the button.

- Hello?

- (CLEARS THROAT)

Wow. You're...

- You're really hot.

- (NINA CHUCKLES)

That's very sweet.

You're... You're smokin '.

Please. My God.

You could be my little brother.

God, you are...

You're a MILF.

I'm a MILF?

No, maybe you're

not so much a MILF.

Like, you're not a cougar yet,

'cause you're not that old.

- You're like a puma.

- What's a puma?

It's like the step

before a cougar.

That's really depressing.

You know what? Let's play a game.

For a million dollars,

would you f*** a dirty,

smelly, hairy homeless guy?

Oh, my God, no.

- No? For a million dollars?

- No!

- Okay, two million.

- No.

Bullshit. Come on.

Five million. Five million.

Five million? Okay.

(LAUGHS)

You see,

everybody has their price.

Okay, this is what he wrote.

"Hey, thanks for

liking my song.

"I was nervous

about posting it. I know, I'm weird."

(BOTH LAUGH)

- Okay, say...

- Jason.

What's up, Billy?

Say...

- "I think weird is sexy."

- Oh, yeah, that's good.

Perfect. Okay.

- Did he get it?

- He got it.

He's smiling!

Mom, oh, my God,

the f-ing funniest thing happened today.

Abigail, would you

stop that please?

What?

- F-ing. The f-ing thing.

- ABBY:
Sorry. Anyway...

- You know that girl Malinda Goodman?

- RICH:
No.

Yeah, well, she had, like, this laser

treatment thing, you know, hair removal.

Anyway, there can be this side effect

sometimes where you grow more hair.

(LINDA GASPS)

I know. I swear, the girl

has a f***ing beard.

- Hey.

- Sorry.

Okay. That's enough.

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