Doing Time on 'The Longest Yard' Page #8

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and Crewe has struggled

thus far in the second half.

Hut!

The pitch to Megget.

Oh, my! That ball is live!

It's picked up by Lambert.

He's at the 1 5, the 1 0,

and he will score!

Yeah! T ouchdown! Yeah!

Crewe took a shot on that play

and he's getting up slowly.

Meanwhile, in the end zone, the guards

have something to celebrate,

as they find themselves up

by two touchdowns.

This is simply a different Paul Crewe

we're seeing here in the second half.

There's the old Paul Crewe

we love to write about.

What the hell are you

doing out there?

I'm done.

I'm out. That's it.

- Where you hurting?

- My knee.

- Seems okay to me.

- Well, it ain't.

If Crewe can't go, I don't know how

deep these guys are at quarterback.

The guards will try to keep it away

from Megget, so they'll pooch kick.

Fair catch. Fair catch.

As Big Tony calls for the fair catch.

Watch out. That was as late a hit

as I've ever seen.

And even some of the home crowd

not liking that one.

Hang in there, partner.

Can of corn. Can of corn,

and I'll be fine. Can of corn.

Yeah, I'd have a hard time

looking at me too.

Brucie.

Yeah, coach.

You're the only one that knows

this offense, son. Now, do it.

is number 1, Brucie.

All right, all right.

Crewe's playing like sh*t.

That's his problem.

I'm gonna bring us back.

Right, 32 Flex Dive Motion

on one. Ready!

Break!

Yeah. It's Brucie's

time to shine, baby.

Okay. Down, set. Hut!

There's the snap and the ball is

fumbled. And the guards recover.

I knew I shouldn't

have had that popcorn.

The guards are in command here

as we move late into the third quarter.

Ninety-eight. Hut! Hut!

The give is to Potter.

Back to Knauer.

He's got a man open

deep downfield.

He'll throw the flea-flicker!

And he's got it. Touchdown, guards.

And this game is starting

to look like a blowout.

Hey, man, after all Caretaker did,

this is how you show him love?

Don't worry about it.

You haven't changed one damn bit.

All right. Down, set!

Back in at quarterback is Brucie,

who will try to find a handle

on the ball this time.

Throw it, Brucie!

Oh, sh*t!

And look out.

What a shot he took!

How much more blood do you want?

I think the cons are just about

out of options at quarterback.

Hey, Skitchy,

let me ask you something.

When you popped the warden,

was it worth it?

Was it worth spending

the rest of your life in here?

Was it worth it? It was worth

every goddamn second.

What the hell is he doing?

Paul Crewe must be feeling better,

because here he comes.

All right, I missed you guys,

so I'm back.

We got a lot of work to do.

Let's get it going.

Deuce right, 89. Fly on two. Ready?

Break.

As we start the fourth quarter,

cons down by three touchdowns.

Wide left! Tight left!

Black 90. Hut! Hut!

Here comes the blitz,

and no one's blocking!

And Crewe will be sacked

for a big loss.

That looked like a message to Crewe

from his offensive line.

Did you see that, man?

They're quitting on him.

Okay, baby. Jailbreak Blitz. Ready?

We got that out of the way.

I deserved it.

- Now we gotta play some football.

- Switch it! Switch it!

Cons need to do something

to get back in this game.

And that's not it!

And Crewe is leveled!

I don't think he's gonna get up

from that one.

Nice hit!

But he is. And I don't know how,

after that last hit.

All right, punt team!

Keep them off the field!

We're going for it.

Dumbshits are going for it!

Let's go! Let's go!

Come on back, if he wants to get

his ass kicked. Come on back.

This is unbelievable.

Fine. You guys don't wanna help me,

I'll do it on my own. On two.

Let's go, to the line.

On fourth and 20,

the cons are gonna go for it.

This could be the ball game right here.

Red 98. Hut! Hut!

Crewe dodges the blitz,

but he loses his helmet.

And he's not going down.

He's got the first down.

Time-out!

- Man, oh, man.

- Not bad.

Huddle up.

Look.

I'm sure you already know this,

but I never said it out loud.

I did throw that game.

I did it.

I was in a bad way

with some worse people.

After I did it,

I felt so shitty I wish I would have

just let them kill me instead.

Now the warden wants to pin

Caretaker's murder on me

if I don't throw this game.

So it looks like I'm gonna get

to know you guys a lot better,

because I ain't doing that

twice in a lifetime.

We got a little time left.

We can still do this.

I'm begging you.

Put your hands in here.

Okay. Thank you. Now, who are we?

Mean Machine!

Come on, Mean Machine, let's go!

That's great news.

All right. We got ourselves a game.

Brown 65. Hut!

First and 10 from the 30.

Crewe finds Deacon open in the flat.

Hut!

The give is to Megget. And he fights

his way for a 9-yard gain.

One yard, baby. One more yard.

Hut! Hut!

Crewe tries a sneak. Or is it?

He flips it back to Megget.

Megget's got the first down

and more.

And Megget is down to the 4-yard

line, where it'll be first and goal.

Hut!

Crewe hands it to Turley.

And look at the big man go.

T ackle him!

Touchdown!

That was some rumbling, bumbling

stumbling right there.

And listen to the crowd

as this underdog con team

is starting to win them over.

Third down and 6. Guards have

the ball on their own 29-yard line.

Knauer needs a first down

to put this game away.

White 50!

White 50!

And look at Battle take off.

He knocks the ball loose!

There's a dogpile in the backfield.

The refs are trying to sort it out.

My arm!

The cons recover!

We got the ball! We got the ball!

We got it! We got it!

With just over two minutes left to be

played, this has turned into a game.

Crewe will start in great field position

at the guards' 25.

And look at this formation.

The guards, they're confused.

Shift over! Move!

They're trying to call time-out,

but there's the snap.

Moss is behind a wall of cons. I

wouldn't wanna be in front of that thing.

And they'll score!

- Hey! Is that legal?

- Yeah, it is.

- Is that a touchdown?

- Yes, it is.

What is going on here? Sh*t!

And with the extra point,

the cons are down by just seven.

- Brucie!

- Yeah. Yeah, coach.

I want you to go out there

and kick off.

- I can do it.

- Kick off!

Brucie can't kick worth a sh*t.

I know. Recover the ball.

Jesus Christ, my savior.

If you help me out with this one,

I promise to stop cheating on my wife

with black guys. Amen.

Back in the game is Brucie,

and he'll do the honors.

And it's a horrible kick.

But the ball is tipped!

And the cons have come up with it!

- We got it! One time-out.

- Got it. Got it.

That's it, Brucie. Hey, hey!

My bad. My bad. My bad. Come on.

Give me that.

Damn--

Well, that felt unnecessary.

Cons have enough time

for one final drive.

Crewe drops back to pass.

He's under pressure.

- Watch the pass!

- He's looking for Deacon.

He gets the ball up, but he's leveled.

And Deacon's got it for a first down,

but he stayed inbounds.

Tick, tick, tick.

The clock keeps running.

Clock's running. Clock's still running!

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