Doing Time on 'The Longest Yard' Page #9

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Clock's still running!

On the ball!

Goddamn it! Do something!

Hut!

Crewe. He's looking to throw.

Under pressure again.

Go! Get rid of it! Go! Go!

He pitches it to Megget.

He's got some room.

Here we go. Here we go.

Go, Megg! Go, Megget!

- Go, Megget!

- Get him!

He could go all the way!

But he won't!

Goddamn it!

And Megget is hit hard

at the 4, and he's hurt.

My knee, man!

You busted your knee for us,

we'll bust our ass for you.

Hey, coach, I need a back!

Just win this sh*t.

I'm going in.

Coach, you serious?

Yeah, I'm serious.

And look who's

coming into the game.

You can do it!

Get that old ass of yours

in the end zone!

We gotta win this thing! Come on!

No, no, no. Hey, old man.

Absolutely not.

You're gonna get killed out here.

They've been trying that for years.

Don't worry, I got the perfect play.

- I ain't handing you the ball.

- You don't have to.

Nate Scarborough, the former

Heisman Trophy winner from 1955,

is gonna play tailback,

but he's gotta be in there more

for moral support than anything.

Mean Machine. Mean Machine.

Mean Machine. Mean Machine.

Mean Machine, Mean Machine

Mean Machine

Mean Machine!

Mean Machine!

Six seconds left on the clock.

Cons down by seven.

They must score on this play.

Don't let them through!

Down, set!

- Black 99!

- Come on, D!

Black 99! Hut! Hut!

Black 99! Hut! Hut!

The give is to the big man, Turley.

He's stopped by Lambert

at the line for no gain.

No! Wait!

The ball's picked up

by Scarborough.

Come on!

Touchdown!

What an amazing comeback, folks!

Taking a play from

the old Nebraska playbook.

The Fumblerooskie.

Easy. Easy.

You still alive, old man?

Never felt better in my life.

You're a sick bastard. Come here.

All right.

And now the cons are a mere

extra point away from overtime.

Mean Machine!

Team vote:
We go for the win?

We go for the tie?

Hell, guys, we're convicts.

We always go for it all.

Unfortunately, that's why

we're all in the joint.

What would Caretaker do?

Give me that blackboard.

Yeah, come on!

Come on.

Are you serious?

I don't know. That play is wack.

It's gonna work.

It's gonna work. Let's go. On the ball.

Come on! Let's go!

Let's go, y'all! Let's go!

I think it's gonna work.

Get them out there.

And wait a minute.

Crewe is coming back into the game.

The cons are gonna go for the win.

They're going for it.

Crewe, trying to settle his team

into formation.

But there seems to be

a lot of confusion.

Come on! Run the play!

Turley! Turley. Over here.

Move your giant ass right here!

Right here.

Come on, baby. Come on.

The play clock is still running.

Crewe better call a time-out.

Come on, Crewe!

They don't know what we're doing!

Run the play we set up.

I think you're still dizzy from that hit!

The snap is to Deacon.

It's a trick.

He throws it to Crewe.

They did it! Unbelievable!

The cons win!

We win!

Group hug in the shower tonight!

Or not. Or not.

Well, there you have it.

A bunch of ruthless criminals

have beaten

the men that uphold

our justice system.

Criminals are people too, Chris.

Now, give me your wallet.

What?

Just kidding.

You got a lot of balls, Crewe.

You played a hell of a game.

And don't worry, I know you had

nothing to do with Caretaker's murder.

And I'll back that up.

Thank you, baby.

Mean Machine! Mean Machine!

You humiliated me. I can't believe

you couldn't even win a fixed game.

Now, where the hell

does he think he's going?

He's escaping.

He's escaping.

Officer, shoot that man!

But, sir, there's people.

Shoot him.

Crewe!

Captain, I order you

to shoot that prisoner.

Shoot him! Fire!

Crewe!

Damn it, I'm giving you an order,

captain!

Crewe!

Pull the trigger!

It's the game ball.

Hey.

Why don't you stick this

in your trophy case.

- You have a nice time, old man?

- Yeah.

Yeah? Okay.

So, what do we do now?

Well, the first thing is, we tell the

team where they're hiding Unger.

Oh, I can't wait to see

what Switowski does to him.

Great game, sir.

That's a week in the hotbox!

Who gives a sh*t?

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