Don's Party Page #3

It certainly is a very convenient layout.

Yes, but your place is so much more attractive.

All that wrought iron!

But my kitchen's so tiny, Kath...

You should try cooking in it!

I'd cook in HER kitchen, any time!

Does she play around?

As long as you're in the top ten

of some branch of the arts.

Stick a paintbrush up your bum,

and see how you go!

- Have you had a go at her?

- What do you reckon?!

No luck, eh?

Depends what you mean.

Yes or no?

Yes...

...and then... no.

Where's that beer...

a cold beer...

This is the first summing up

of the counting trends to date.

The most significant trend to emerge

from the early counting

has been the marked swing to Labor...

...a swing of 12 percent... The biggest since

the present counting system came into operation.

If this trend continues to midnight...

Labor will form the new government.

On the present figures, Labor is ahead...

F***in' beauty! We're in!

You bastard you told me

and I wouldn't f***in' believe you!

- You hear that?

- Super!

New government before midnight!

I hear you're very creative!

Thank you...

Are you interested in art?

Yes, very much...

I do a lot of photography.

Yes, I've seen your photography.

Is your husband te jealous type?

No... he's more the brooding type!

Why?

Well, to be frank...

Certain men at this party...

...are going to offer themselves

to you... tonight!

Really!

I'm afraid that 'certain men' are going

to be rather disappointed.

Which ones.

How's it going?

Oh, it's touch and go...

But I wouldn't mind having a few dollars

on a new government by midnight.

Labor have also taken Sturt!

Super! It looks like we've got Sturt.

...regarded as being a fairly safe Liberal seat

held by Mr Ian Wilson...

Funnily enough... I was only having

a few drinks with Whitlam last week...

"Mal," he said, "If we get Sturt,

we've got the whole deal."

You're in politics?

No, psychology...

Executive Selection.

Tell me, do you find you're always

analysing people?

It's an occupational hazard.

What can you tell about ME?

As a psychologist, I can't help feeling that

you're physical beauty could have its problems.

Such as?

Well, to put it quite brutally...

You have what is called

a 'sought-after' quality.

So?

So you'd have no shortage

of alternative offers...

which could place your marriage

under some strain.

And what if I refused these offers?

I don't think you would, really...

Not ALL of them.

What makes you say that?

It's a feeling and a professional hunch...

You see...

A new affair is like

an emotional rebirth...

And I don't think you'd deny yourself

that experience.

For instance, if I were to say to you...

that I found you very attractive...

...and I'd be delighted that if we arranged

to have an affair...

...you wouldn't dismiss it out of hand...

You'd consider it.

- Ye-es.

- Yes.

So, let's be frank...

I do find you very attractive,

and I'll be frank, and...

...say that I would like to have

an affair with you...

And how does that appeal to you?

It DOESN'T!

Can't win 'em all!

The night isn't over yet, boy!

G'day, c*nt-features!

- G'day, Kath!

- Hello, Cooley.

This is the guy I was telling you about.

Here... catch!

What's with the dinner-suit?

Who are YOU tryin' to fool?

Watch it boy...

You're on the North Shore now!

Weak-lookin' bunch of poofters!

- Where's Mack?

- In there.

- Ruth with 'im?

- He's left 'er!

Hey... that's alright!

I might have a go at it, later.

Where's your 'Pornographic Object'?

Here!

Help yourself!

G'day Jenny, you old fishwife!

How you goin'?

- Getting stuck into it are ya?

- I'm gonna screw you, later on.

Back with another migraine?

I hope YOU get one, one day!

Yeah? I'll get you a drink.

Who's the poon

with a poker up his arse?!

Simon Berscombe.

That's his wife...

Jody.

She likes the look of the brooding monster!

Oh, my God...

It's Popeye the Sailor man!

How you goin'?!

None the better for seeing you,

you great turd!

There's a bullshit artist at every party,

and this one's no exception.

There isn't a foul-mouthed lout

at every party...

...but unfortunately this one

IS an exception.

Party? This is more like a morgue

than a party!

Let's hear it!

...and her lips so red

She's the only one can make me care

Now listen buddy, gonna let you know

She's my baby and I love her so

Because she's my baby,

Gonna keep her for my own

She's my baby and I love her so

She's my baby, never let her go

She's my baby, and I need her so

Lovin' little honey

won't you please be mine?

Take a trip to Paris, even go to Spain

Go the whole world over,

we'll go round again

There's nothing can compare with her,

I'm glad to say

She's my little baby and she's here to stay

Because she's my baby,

Gonna keep her for my own

She's my baby and I love her so

She's my baby, never let her go

She's my baby, and I need her so

Lovin' little honey

won't you please be mine?

Alright, I'm hot, I'm hot...!

At the present stage of counting,

the Liberal-Country Party Coalition

is certain to win 53 seats

and the Australian Labor Party, 54...

...with 18 of the 125 seats...

You really DO vote Liberal!?

Why?

Just an emotional thing...

I associate Labor

with coarse men in overalls.

I'm not a coarse man in overalls.

It's just an emotional thing!

Do you tend to follow your emotions?

Yes, I...

Would you mind taking your hand

off my bottom?!

-What would you do if I didn't?

- Knee you in the balls!

I don't think you would.

Ohh... sh*t!

it's about time somebody did that to HIM.

May I...?

Take it off!

It's very pleasant music, isn't it?

You saw what happened to HIM!

I think you should take things

into account.

What things?

Well... my wife!

What's that got to do

with YOUR hand on my bottom?

When you've had an emotional shock...

...you need something tangible

to hang onto!

Mind you, I suppose it had to come.

What?

The bust-up with my wife.

It was MY fault.

You're being very fair.

I'm being more than fair...

She's a b*tch!

You said it was YOUR fault!

Yes... I'm a bit "off".

- OFF?!

- About sex.

I used to like taking photos

of my wife.

There's nothing wrong with that!

She should have felt flattered.

I used to hang them up

all round the house.

Those sort?!

And worse.

Worse?!

Yes, I'm "off"...

There's no doubt about it.

Do you know what

I wanted her to do?!

Seduce my friends, and I'd take photos

from the cupboard, without their knowing.

I am "off", aren't I?

No!

Did she do it?

Yes.

But she wouldn't let me

take the photos.

I'd be flattered if Simon wanted

to take some pictures of me!

Did you get along to the film festival

this year?

No.

Did YOU?

Yeah... good.

What counts, is Don isn't a handyman...

and there isn't much you can do about it.

I mean I've just got

to plan for it...

Apart from the satisfaction

that manual work gives you...

...the satisfaction of getting the job

done properly.

Yes, I suppose you're right...

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