Don's Party Page #4

Word of warning...

I'm not easily put off.

I wish I could say the same for myself.

How about introducing me, Malcolm?

Kerry, this Granger Cooley.

You've heard of me, no doubt?

I'm afraid I haven't.

YOU should have heard of Kerry.

Why, what do you do?

- I paint.

- Paint, eh?!

Yeah, she paints.

What sort of things

do you paint?

Actually, I'm becoming very interested

in texture.

Texture, eh?

Let's have a talk

about that later.

They tell me you've left your wife.

- SHE left ME.

- Yeah?

Well, you're better off without her.

With all due respect boy...

YOUR wife...

...is one of the great bourgeois

monsters of our time.

Bourgeois?!

She let herself be photographed in the nude

and hung up all round the house...

That's bourgeois?!

- You gotta get on to yourself.

- Let's not get nostalgic about the b*tch!

- It's alright for you mate...

- What do you want to do...

...build her a shrine?!

- Bugger me, she was pretty tolerant.

- Tolerant?

- Tolerant!

- Look, I wouldn't tell you this

under normal circumstances...

- Well, don't tell me!

But it's about time

you knew the truth!

She was tolerant, alright!

I went round to your place

one afternoon...

She dragged me into bed a

nd screwed me!

Yeah?

Yeah... Digest THAT!

You digest this.

I've got a whole role of film

of that event...

...taken on a 35mm Nikon...

on Kodak XXX!

Using available light!

They come up a bit grainy

when they're enlarged...

...but you've got to expect that

from fast film.

You'd better be joking!

Jody... have you met Granger Cooley?

Pleased to meet you!

Did you really take those photographs?

Don't come on all pious with ME, mate...

You were screwing my wife!

A joke's a joke, but you don't

set a friend up like this!

You're in no position to get pious!

YOU were screwing my wife!

F***!

You known Cooley long?

No, not long.

What do YOU do?

I'm a teacher.

- What do YOU do?

- I'm a student.

- Are you in town long?

- I'm going back tomorrow.

Granger!

Have you met my husband, Evan?

No, I haven't.

How are ya?

I believe you're a lawyer.

Some of my clients don't!

I've been hearing

that your wife's very creative.

- I wish the critics thought so.

- Why? They been panning ya?

- No... faint praise.

- Moderate praise.

If I was a critic, you wouldn't

be getting faint praise...

What are they all?

Poofters?

Not exactly.

Do they ever proposition ya?

It's not really as corrupt

as all that.

I tell you what...

If I came to review some

hot young chick's etchings...

It'd be a case of

"No root... no review."

You must conduct a very interesting

law practice.

I'm taking a hammering tonight!

Hey, Jenny... you seen Suzy anywhere?

Man comes out after a barbecued chop...

and look what he finds!

How's Jenny?

Shithouse. What do you two

think you're doing?

Piss off, will ya!?

No... I want a bit of sausage.

Let's see you got

that I haven't got.

Sex appeal.

Kath 'll kill 'im.

You want another drink?

No thanks.

You should know enough

to come and speak to me.

You're lucky I came to speak to you at all.

Why's that?

I don't usually make a habit

of speaking to hostile b*tches in corners.

I don't make a habit of speaking

to incorrigible lechers.

No... not here.

Not here!

- Where?

- In there.

- In there!

- Inside!

What about the wife?!

- Ask her!

- Ask her what?

- If she minds!

- She minds!

- She shouldn't.

I'll tell her there's some chemistry there.

It's purely physical.

Come on!

Jesus!

Hi!

I was just admiring your dcor.

Oh, it's a bit unadventurous.

The trouble with dcor is...

...if your tastes change after you've done it,

you're stuck with it.

Do YOU ever look at someone

and something clicks...

...and you say "Bang! I want him!"

- Physically!

- No!

Do you believe in honesty?

Yes.

Do you mind if I'm honest?

No.

I want to screw Don.

...seats in well-to-do

harbourside suburbs...

Mosman and Seaforth...

up to the northern beaches...

...like Manly... the sitting member

Mr Michael Mackellar...

...is very safe there, on 22,000 odd.

The seat of Wentworth

in the eastern suburbs...

...similar to Warringah...

Honest, Grange!...

Your taste in women is becoming

more adolescent as the years go by.

Just a minute!

Susan's very intelligent.

F***! Big tits, cow eyes...

vacuous chatter.

I think you've started your middle-age

virility fantasies already!

What happened to your receptionist?

SHE was nice!

She had a virgin brain!

No original thought

had ever penetrated!

- She WAS a bit...

- Dumb!

At least she was over 18!

You've got a prejudice

against older women!

No!

When I was 17, I stuffed a 50-year old barmaid

in the old man's pub.

She just kept saying...

"Thank you!"...

"I meant YOU!"

- How did she take it?

- She didn't say anything.

She's on anti-depressants?

She'd 've told me.

D'you think I should go and talk to her?

Yes, I think you should.

You see, I'm interstate quite often,

Canberra, and that sort of thing...

How's your old man treating YOU?

Oh... I'm a little b*tch

to him sometimes.

- Bugger 'im!

- Oh, I'm neutral!

He's certainly been following

that Kerry woman round, like a puppy dog.

I wouldn't worry.

I'm not!

He's only ever made it with one other woman

since we've been married.

So surprised, he ran home to show me

the scratches on his back!

- Oh, sorry!

- No... on you go.

Do you know many

of the people here?

No... do you?

No...

I think they're mainly Don's friends.

Pretty extrovert lot,

aren't they?

I think they're a bunch of shits!

Yeah!

The most outstanding feature

of this election...

We've got 'em rooted, son!

We'll piss it in, mate!

Sorry to say this, love... but it looks

as if the Libs have had the Richard.

Oh, well I suppose a change

won't do all that much harm!

Might even do a bit of good, too...

you know...

In small ways... like health, education,

social welfare.

Shut up, shithead!

I'm having a serious political discussion...

If you don't want to participate,

piss off!

- How old IS your youngest?

Have you ever sat down...

...and really thought about

what you're doing in life?

We've got a very clear idea

of what we're doing.

Yeah... planted in your skull,

by some advertising copywriter.

Bosh!

Would it be true to say...

...that YOU are contemplating

selling your $40,000 house...

...and taking out a mortgage

on a $60,000 dwelling?

How did YOU know?

Never mind about that,

but what I would really like to know...

...is what are your motives

for this particular piece of insanity?

I'll hit you with my beer mug

in a minute.

- I'm thinking of having another baby.

- You don't have to answer him!

Oh, I'll answer him!

You can't get pregnant in a $40,000 house...

It's too cheap and nasty, is it?

We need the space!

Bullshit! You've got 4 bedrooms already!

I'll tell you what it is!...

I'll tell you what it is...

It's status!

That's what it is...

the whole thing's status... S-T-A-T-U-S!

The government's been in power

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes