Don's Party Page #7

Well, why don't you go live in Russia?!

What a c*nt!

You don't know what you're f***in' talkin about!

You do realise, don't you...

..education, in any society...

You DO realise that, don't you?!

I just don't believe in socialism,

that's all.

Socialism... You don't even know

the f***in' meaning of the word!

The Labor Party is just mildly reformist,

that's all!

- Mildly?! What about Jim Cairns?!

- Put your bloody clothes on!

Don't tell ME that Jim Cairns

is just mildly reformist!

You'd think they live for politics,

wouldn't you?!

All Don ever does is pass out

a few how-to-vote cards.

Mal doesn't even hand out cards.

Let's face it Jody...

We're married to a couple of...

Bullshit-artists?

What about the f***in' pensioners, eh?

Starving THEM!

I think there's nothing wrong

with a discussion...

...but I don't think people should argue

with people they don't agree with!

- I don't want to talk about it!

- Because you know I'm bloody-well right!

We're having terrible trouble

with young Richard at the moment.

They're easy at Richard's age!...

Just wait till he's a bit older.

Hell, they're on babies!

You wait till you've had some yourself.

I'm not.

They don't turn me on, I'm afraid.

How can you tell what your real feelings

towards children are...

...until you've had some yourself?

That's like saying you ought to eat sh*t,

in case it tastes like watermelon.

All I can say is, having sex for its own sake,

is a rather hollow motive.

Oh, come on, Jenny!

Some people carry on,

as if it's the only thing in life!

Who... ME?

I wasn't referring to anyone in particular.

Look... if you think I enjoy being mauled

by your randy husbands...

...then you're wrong!

Men are pigs!

Yes... I must apologise for Evan.

Yes, he did sound a little upset!

Oh, Kath... He's always going off

about something or other!

If you ask ME...

he had good cause!

You're entitled to your opinion.

Well, I mean I like Cooley as a person...

I can't see what anyone

would see in him as a MAN!

A lot of women find him

very attractive.

Must have hidden talents!

Certainly isn't hiding them

at the moment!

What IS Cooley like, in bed?

Well, he's not all that big...

But he's energetic, for his age.

And inventive!

Don plods on for hours...

Bores me stupid.

Ah... the long slow grind!

What's Simon like, Jenny?

Well, he's not as BIG as my father...

I used to see him under the shower!

You can't always tell,

when they're on the slack.

I don't think anatomical details

are very important.

Surely it's the feeling between people,

that counts?

Yes, I've known some fine little pricks,

in MY time!

No... seriously! I mean, women

become attracted to other women.

The thought of touching another woman's body,

makes my flesh crawl!

Why? The female body is infinitely

more beautiful than the male.

How do women...

...do it?!

Well, they...

Righto, ladies... come on!

It's time to dance!

Righto, Simon, old cock!

Don't just stand there

like a stuffed dummy!

Get one of those lovely ladies up on her feet,

and giver a whirl!

'Plastic Lips'.

Yeah, why not?!

Would you like us

to dance together?

What?

We can dance till we're dead!

I don't like the sound of that!

Jenny!

No, I haven't danced for years.

Well, it's about time you did,

then, girl!

I'd rather not.

Come on, Jen, for Christ's sake...

Get up and have a dance!

All I did was ask her for a dance!

Why don't you give her a drink?

Sorry!

Hey!

Sorry!

Let's have a drink.

I just get SO depressed!

Oh, Jenny... look...

You've got 4 beautiful children...

and your husband's 2nd lieutenant to God,

and still rising!

Our marriage is a farce!

Whose isn't?!

Oh, really?!

Oh, we both used to love our kids.

Even make love, too.

Sick, isn't it?!

I just...

Christ, Jenny... you're attractive,

you're intelligent...

Let's face it, Don...

I've been out of the human race

for 10 bloody years!

I know you're not

the slightest bit interested!

You can sit there and listen.

I've lost it, Don!

All I can do is just sit in corners

and hate other people,

for being competent human beings!

It's getting so the only people I can take,

are shits!

Thanks a lot!

As soon as he's got enough money,

he'll clear out and he'll leave me...

You wait and see!

- Finish your degree.

- Oh, stuff my degree!

Have an affair.

Have an affair!

Try having an affair after 4 kids

have made your tits droop!

You're stomach looks like something

that got stuck into a soggy

steamed pudding, with a f***ing whip!

I mean, let's face it...

If you had to choose between me and that

flat-stomached melon-breasted tart out there...

Who'd it be?

Yeah!

This looks a rather nice little drop...

Our Conservative friend

knows a good red when he sees one!

It's about time

you made your move, mate!

This is no time to get cold feet,

my boy!

Actually, I must get across

to the Barossa again, pretty soon...

- Our cellar's getting pretty depleted.

- When were you over there last?

About 3 years ago.

Brought back 14 dozen bottles...

mainly reds.

But there was the odd case of white.

That's a coincidence!

I was over there 3 years ago.

That's very interesting.

Actually, there's nothing like

a trip to the vineyards, is there?

Right!... Right!

Mind you... My trip wasn't all roses.

About half way round the circuit

I picked up this stomach wog...

...and started shitting like a camel!

Actually, to be more accurate...

it was more of a dribble.

Because I'd been tasting wine

and eating cheese for days...

...the old sphincter didn't have

anything solid to come to grips with.

Stung like a bastard, too!

But I was buggered if I was gonna let

any stomach wog get the better of me, so...

I stuffed a newspaper down me strides...

...and did a quick change

after every winery!

I find that if I have a good solid sh*t

at about 8 o'clock in the morning...

...the rest of the day

just falls into place!

Do YOU sh*t at a regular

time of the day, Simon?

- Look... do we really have to...?

- What about YOU, Suzie?

No!

You're not the constipated type,

I hope?

Do you really think that excretion

is an interesting topic of conversation?

We ALL have to do it!

We don't have to talk about it!

What ARE you?...

An anal prude?!

I just don't enjoy talking

about shitting!

You probably don't even enjoy shitting!

Excuse us, Kath...

It's getting pretty late.

Jody, I think it's about time

we went home.

I'm just starting to relax.

I hope I haven't offended you, old chap!

- I was just telling him about this terrible...

- I'm tired... I'm really feeling tired.

Oh, I'm not!

You go home and get some sleep, dear!

I'll get a taxi.

I'd prefer it if you came with me!

Why?!

I just would!

Are you worried about me DOING something?!

No.

Go home and get some sleep then!

What am I gonna tell the babysitter

when I get home without ya?

Stuff the babysitter!

Thanks Kath...

Jody's not feeling too tired,

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