Don't Be a Menace to South Central Page #5

to take care of what comes out,

get my nails and hair done,

pay my rent

and get me a new car?

You know what?

You ain't nothin' but a little boy.

Ain't all about the size of the boat!

It's the motion in the ocean.

That's not

what I'm talkin' about.

As a matter of fact, get out!

- Get outta my bed!

Get outta my house! Get out!

- Wha-- What's-- What's up?

- And take your sh*t with you!

- Why you trippin'?

I don't wanna see you no more.

I don't wanna talk to you.

- How-- Hey!

- Take your sh*t!

Aw, girl, come on, now.

This-- Hey, this ain't mine!

- Get outta my house!

- Oh!

Get out!

Ohh!

Order up!

- Yo, Loc, man. Dashiki's pregnant.

Fool, Dashiki was born pregnant.

What else is new?

What else is new?

It's mine.

- Whoo! Thank you.

- Aw, man. Are you sure?

She said I was the only one

she been with in the past 20 minutes.

- Damn!

- Yes! Yes!

And you believed her, huh?

Here you go, sucker--

I mean, brother. Ha.

- That'll be $10.38.

- Wash them filthy hands.

So what you gon'

do now, Tray?

I don't know. I'm thinkin' about

movin' outta the hood with her.

What? Aw, fool!

Look here. Let me tell you

somethin', Tray.

You could take Dashiki

outta the hood,

but you can't take

the hood n*ggers out of Dashiki.

- Hmm?

- Aw, damn! Five-O.

- Man!

You there!

Get out of the truck...

and put your hands

in the air.

- Stand on one leg.

With the tip of your finger,

touch the tip of your nose.

Now in a circular motion,

rub your stomach and pat your head...

while saying,

"Rubber baby buggy bumpers."

Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

- Strike a pose. Now vogue.

Now walk slowly

toward the car.

We didn't even do nothin'.

What? You think you're tough?

You don't look so tough now,

you little n*gger.

I hate you black bastards.

You stink!

I hate your black skin.

I hate your black pants.

I hate black pepper!

I hate black keys

on the piano!

I hate my gums,

'cause they black.

I hate Whoopi Goldberg's lips.

I hate the back

of Forest Whitaker's neck.

Aah! And most of all,

I hate that black-ass

Wesley Snipes!

Move it!

- Come on.

- Let's go.

- Move it.

- We got arrested...

for bein' black

on a Friday night.

Don't try me, all right?

It was a misdemeanor, so I

thought we'd be out right away.

- Oh!

- Yeah!

- Right there, right there!

- Oh! Oh!

- There you go!

All right. Get in there.

- What's up, youngblood?

- What's up?

Swine, my brother?

- Nah. No, thanks.

- Let me tell you something.

If you hit a man,

in time...

his wounds will heal.

And if you steal from a man,

you can replace

what you steal.

And always cross in the green,

never in between.

Because the honorable

Elijah Muhammad Ali...

floats like a butterfly

and stings like a bee.

Just thinkin'

about spending another minute...

with Farrakhan-vict made me never

want to do time in the joint again.

Boy, am I happy

to see you, man.

And always remember,

my brother:

one fish, two fish,

red fish, blue fish.

Nick, nack, paddy-wack,

get a dog a bone.

Two thousand,

zero, zero, party--

Oops, outta time!

My bacon smellin' fine.

- What's up, Toothpick?

- What's up?

All ready, we gon'

jump this fool in.

Let's do this, AI Dog.

What's up there, little homie?

'Bout ready to do this?

- Yeah, man. I'm ready.

- What's up?

- What's up?

- You been hangin' with the homies

in the hood for a while now.

- It's about time we

jumped your punk ass in.

- That's right.

Let me tell you somethin'.

In this world, if you can't swim--

- You bound to dr-z-own.

- Yeah. And if you fall,

- you better pick your punk ass up!

- That's right.

And the rest of y'all,

don't cut him no slack!

Y'all fools get busy.

Let's go.

Work him, Dog, work him.

G, that is his name

lf he can't hang

He's got to get out the game

Yeah, get out the game

- G, that is his name

lf he can't hang, he's got to get

out the game, get out the game

He's little G, if he can't hang

lf he can't hang

We're gonna have to

play Monopoly again some time.

- All right.

- No.

You ain't winning nothin' anyway.

- And the money that you do win,

I'll jack you for it, fool.

- Tie your shoe.

Hey! Which one of y'all

is Ashtray?

- I--

- What's up, partner?

Heard you got my boy Toothpick's

girlfriend pregnant, partner.

- Me?

- Yeah, you.

Uh, hey, brother, man.

What's up?

I don't want any trouble, man.

You know, I'm just taking Crazy Legs--

You must not have

heard me, partner.

Tray, let me handle this

like a gentleman, all right?

Hey, my man, you know. My man

sayin' he don't want no trouble.

You know what I'm sayin'?

- But I do! Come here!

- Yeah, Loc!

- Show that fool!

- Yeah, here!

Get... your... body... down!

Huh, partner?

Huh, partner?

- Stay right there. We shouldn't--

- Aaah!

Oh, yeah, nice execution.

I'm gonna give that an eight.

Yeah, yeah!

Make him a cripple like me.

- Stomp him!

- La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

- After stompin'

one of Toothpick's boys,

we knew we had to go get

some backup.

- So we went over to

our homie Old School's house.

- Hey, Loc, man.

Are you sure this guy's

gonna have our back?

Hey, Tray, let me tell you somethin'

about Old School, all right?

He's the most dangerous

O.G. on the set.

Let me tell you

young punks somethin'.

I been down in this hood a long time.

I seen a lot of things.

I survived the Watts riots,

gang wars.

You know how I did it?

How?

By standin' my ground

and havin' my homies watch my back.

-Word!

-So don't let nobody mess with your set.

- Yeah!

- And like me, don't let

nobody give you no sh*t.

- Yeah, Old School.

- Bartholemew?

Bartholemew!

- Come here, boy.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What did you say, boy?

- I said, "Oh, shoot," Ma. "Shoot."

Didn't I tell you

to clean your room?

Oh, Ma, come on. The gang needs me.

I'm their leader.

Gang?

You better get in there and clean

that room in the next ten minutes...

or else you gonna be walking

down the street with three shoes--

two on your feet

and one in your ass, sucker.

Thank you, Mama.

- Yeah. So you gonna roll with us?

- I can't.

Why not? Oh, the police

is after you, huh?

Nah, I'm on punishment.

My mom says I can't leave the porch.

- Oh, man!

- Come on. Let's hold the porch down.

Say, that's a nice walker,

lady. Cough it up.

Turn around! Give it up!

Man, I need to get out

of this place.

Fool, what you talking about?

Leave the hood?

Fool, this is

home sweet home.

I love the smell of gun smoke

in the morning.

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