Don't Kill It Page #3

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to personal torment.

But this thing was

different.

See, the way it transfigured

was by being killed.

The moment you killed it,

it became you.

Which, needless to say,

complicated things.

So anyway,

me and my dad sat there

and explained

this to the townfolks,

just like I'm explaining it

to you now.

Course, they believed us

straight on,

having seen the carnage

themselves.

Okay. So how'd you kill it?

See, my old man

had the brave idea.

He sacrificed himself.

He drank a poison,

and then he killed it.

So the demon

had no place to go.

And I could trap it.

Well, I'm so sorry.

I lost my daddy

to prostate cancer.

That's a shame.

So how did you lose the demon?

I'm getting to it.

It's complicated.

I tried to hang onto it

for 30 years.

It just had a funny way

of slipping out of my hands.

You see, the thing has

a life of its own.

It doesn't wanna stay

in that box.

It's got a way of influencing

the world around it.

Okay. How did you lose it,

Mr. woodley?

You can't kill the thing.

All you can do

is put it where no one

will ever get to it.

So I rented a plane,

came down here.

Was gonna drop it here

in the bayou.

Engine trouble,

fire starts,

i gotta bail out.

Plane just scatters itself

all around town.

I remember investigating

that crash.

Good for you.

Anyhow,

middle of the bayou ain't

a bad place to hide the thing.

So I just stuck around town

for a while,

just in case somebody

stumbled upon it.

Which is good,

because that's what happened.

Well,

some nice trees they

have here.

Seem to have forgotten

my wallet. Heh, heh.

What?

Fine.

This one's on me.

Thank you very much.

So let's just say

any part of that is true.

You got a plan?

I suggest you find the man

that killed the last

of those three murderers.

Hold a town meeting

with everyone except him,

tell them what happened

and maybe

we can work together on this.

You wanna tell an entire town

there's a body-hopping demon

on the loose?

Something like that.

That will only

exacerbate things.

Even if they believe you,

which I highly doubt,

this town is ultra-Christian.

They're gonna go into a panic.

Chief Dunham, is there

an emergency system

at the local school so we

can keep the children safe?

Well, now, agent Pierce,

you're gonna have to pardon me,

but I think you spent a little

too much time in Washington.

This here's chicory creek,

Mississippi.

We just got our first stoplight

about six months ago. Heh, heh.

I'm sorry,

but this plan is ridiculous.

I'm not gonna let you

get this town

into a frenzy

just on your word alone.

Fine. I'll wait for you

to wise up then.

Chief, how can I find the man

who killed the last murderer?

What are you gonna do

when you find him?

Oh, I'll sit him down

for a quiet little chat.

If we help you,

then I'm coming.

As much as I'd love

to spend some time

with a lovely lady

like yourself,

I work alone.

We're gonna do this my way,

or you can take a seat

back in that cell.

Your choice.

All right, then.

And if you make one

false move,

I will not hesitate

to shoot you myself.

Fair enough.

Let's get my sh*t and get going.

Now. Now, let's see

what we got in here.

So one ruger.

Three-five-seven Magnum...

And holster

with twelve rubber bullets.

I like this here, one vaporizer.

One small-animal trap.

Careful with that.

South American bola balls.

And last but not least,

one whip with two...

Shrunken heads.

Oh, sh*t, just put down "whip."

One whip.

What?

- All right. Pull over.

- This should be it.

The house of the man

who shot the last murderer.

One Jeremy ruckner.

What, do you live in your car?

Uh-huh.

Course you do.

What on earth is that?

It's my net gun.

She's my pride and joy.

How does she work?

Well, it's

a pressurized release.

The nets fly out,

they're weighted at the ends.

They knock the victim off

its feet, don't kill it.

Let me see.

Jeez. Just a little heavier

than it looks.

Uh-huh.

Okay. That should be

the house there.

How does he know where he

lives if he's possessed?

Instinct.

Hasn't been any murders

for a while.

Reckon he's taking a break.

Seen him do it before.

Somebody's coming.

Hey, you shouldn't

even have that thing on you.

Oh, I'll be holding onto it,

thank you very much.

You shoot him with that,

you're gonna regret it.

Trust me on that.

Wait here.

Howdy.

Oh, my god.

Yeah. It can be a dirty job,

that's for sure.

Oh, my god. It's horrible.

Takes some getting

used to.

Who the f*** are you?

It can talk?

Uh, no. No. He's not

supposed to do that.

Unhand me.

Sh*t.

What?

What's the matter?

It's not him.

What do you mean it's not him?

Well, it's him,

but he ain't possessed.

Drunk as piss

by the smell of him,

but he ain't possessed.

Who the f*** are you?

Sorry, sir. Well,

we seem to have made

some kind of mistake.

I'm sorry, buddy.

Mistake?

You nearly broke

my arms.

This is complete bullshit,

isn't it?

No, it's not bullshit.

He's not the guy

who did the last shooting.

The hell I ain't.

Three days ago I put

that crazy bastard down

with that gun right

up there.

I'm the best shot

in Mississippi.

Okay, so? He said he shot him.

Okay. Tell me exactly

what happened.

Well, ain't you heard?

I shot the f***er.

I got him right

in the gut.

Did anybody do anything else

to his body after you shot him?

Well, yeah, Glen prichard ran up

and finished him off,

but I'm the one who put him down

and stopped the killing.

You ask anybody.

So, what happened to prichard?

Where'd he go?

He ran off.

After he done it, he just

looked at us and took off.

Probably couldn't stand

the sight of the blood.

P*ssy.

All right. We're done here.

This does not prove

anything.

Uh-huh.

Hey, wait a minute.

Get up.

Hey, you haven't

told me

why you shot me

with that damn net.

- All right.

- Just was a bad dream.

You just go back to bed, now,

come on.

Merry Christmas.

Wow, do you really

have to do that in the car?

Didn't have enough ribs

for lunch?

No, thank you.

Sh*t.

Damn it.

Car's overheating.

Happens all the time.

I knew I should've

never trusted you.

We need to get to the station.

Can you shut up?

Excuse me? You should be

kissing my ass right now.

I could've left you in

that cell to rot.

Shh.

Don't "shush" me.

Quiet.

I just saw something.

I don't see--

something's watching us

from the woods.

I don't see anything.

Shh.

Yeah. Right there.

Get in the car.

Don't say a word.

Stay quiet.

Get back in the car.

Is this for real?

Okay.

Am I interrupting something?

Oh, sh*t.

Rubber bullets.

Works when you're in a jam.

I-- i--

I just--

breathe, try not to talk.

So I say we set

that town meeting

around 6 P.M. tomorrow.

Sound good to you?

Hi, y'all. Welcome.

Good evening,

um, Mrs. kravitz.

Maybe you could help? Do you

have a first-aid kit here?

Yes, I have something

here somewhere.

That's terrific. We also need

two rooms for the evening.

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