Don't Knock the Rock Page #6

---

so they find something like rock and roll to blame it on.

If parents would only realize that...

their children are no different than they were 25 or 30 years ago.

Boy, did you just say something.

A faceful, but what does it mean?

We're not going back to New York.

Are you kidding?

What?

We're gonna make Mayor Bagley and all the rest of them apologize to us in print

and your mother's going to help us, whether she knows it or not.

But how, Arnie?

Those kids you were telling me about in the theater group. Are they any good?

Some of them.

Where can I get them together so I can talk to them in private?

They've been rehearsing in the school auditorium.

Too public.

Alan, we're going to a place called the Lonely Barn.

Arnie, we've had enough of this talk.

Let's get back to New York.

No, sir. If we leave now, we'll never live it down.

Tell the kids to stand by, will you?

Come on, Alan, we're gonna keep the Lonely Barn from being lonely.

Arnie?

Huh?

You said you loved me.

Hey, how about that? So I did.

Well, wait till later. We'll get real profound.

Ladies and gentlemen, when Francine MacLaine...

asked me to make the opening address for this wonderful little show she's put together.

I was extremely flattered.

It isn't often that Mellondale has a chance to participate in a cultural campaign.

One designed to give a distinct, moral uplift to an entire community.

Especially in the light of recent events concerning our young people.

So, although I know absolutely nothing of what the youngsters have prepared for us.

It is with the greatest possible pride I ask you all to enjoy.

The Pageant of Art and Culture.

You mean to say you don't know what kind of a show those kids concocted?

Or have you been too busy lately getting drunk?

Nobody's been able to find out what they're up to.

And now, my friends of art and culture, we are ready to begin.

In our first offering...

We will depict the world-famous painting by Pierre Renoir entitled...

Young Girls at the Piano.

We come to another famous classic.

Lady and Gentleman Drinking Wine by Jan Vermeer,

the famed Dutch painter of the 17th century.

Are they kidding with that cornball stuff?

I wish I knew.

And now, another art form...

Which has come down through the ages is that of terpsichore.

The art of the dance.

Our first presentation will be that of a dance that was all the rage...

when George Washington was the president of our country.

Wonderful! Wonderful! Now, that's the way dancing should be done.

Like civilized people.

Oh, Dad.

And then, times changed.

And new forms of the dance came into being.

Reflecting how people had changed in a changing world.

We're sure all of you remember this dance.

We're sorry, ladies and gentlemen, if you didn't like our little offering

of the dance you yourselves used to do.

We thought it would bring back many pleasant memories for all parents

to show them that they really need not worry so much about our younger generation.

For it will grow up to be the same fine sort of people that parents are today.

Young man, you planned this whole thing deliberately.

You're trying to confuse the issue about rock and roll.

I think that maybe we're the ones who tried to confuse the issue, Mr. Bagley.

My own daughter made one point very clear to me.

She told me that we were just trying to find a scapegoat

for our own shortcomings in bringing up our children.

Rock and roll happened to be handy, so it was picked to get the blame.

I say we're wrong, and I'm ready to admit it.

Mrs. MacLaine's right. We're all a bunch of narrow-minded fools.

I'm ready to believe what Arnie Haines said about my daughter.

And I'll wale the living tar out of her hide just as soon as we get home.

Well, if it's up to me.

I'm willing to make a public apology to Arnie Haines right now.

And I hope that perhaps Mayor Bagley might do the same.

Apologize? Me, apologize to that swivel-hipped, gravel-throated...

Mayor Bagley, if you want my vote in the next election, you'll apologize.

And that goes for me, too.

Well, then, that's it.

An apology to Arnie Haines is in order.

Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. MacLaine.

But if Mayor Bagley's too embarrassed to make an apology right here and now...

he can send me a letter.

I'd love to publish it.

You'll get your letter, Mr. Haines.

But I'm apologizing right now, and I'll see that it appears in my column all over the country.

Well, then, let's get on with the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, some rock and roll terpsichore.

One, two, three, four.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes