Don't Think Twice

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Severn Darden will do

a spot improvisation for you.

Okay, a little bit of history.

In 1955, a group

of actors in Chicago

invented the idea that

improvisational theater

could be an art form

unto itself,

not just a warm-up

for other theater.

We're going to be playing

with the all-American football.

That's an odd shape, isn't it?

It's not actually round.

Everyone has their own take on

what's most important in improv.

But even 60 years later they still

boil down to three basic rules.

Sly and the family stone.

Jody and Buffy. Buffy

and the vampire slayer.

Um, vampires...

Weekend.

Number one:
Say yes.

Duck season.

Duck hunt.

Nintendo.

Which really means just agreeing with

the reality your partner creates

and then building on that...

Pong.

Burp.

And then building on that.

Burp. Burp.

And then building on that

and building on that.

Defender.

Oh, um, Frogger?

Mmm.

Oh, my god, that is amazing.

Jack, you have worked on that.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good...

That's a prepared bit.

That's not improvised. What?

I don't accept that as improv.

Number two:

It's all about the group.

- Yes. -It's not about

you looking good.

It's also not about

looking funny.

No.

Or showboating.

It's about a group working

together in the moment

to create something

that never happened before,

you know, or will

never happen again.

Five minutes, guys.

"Five minutes, guys."

"Five minutes-ah."

Why am I Japanese?

Remember when you said, "please

tell me when I'm racist"?

This is one of those times.

Thanks.

Whoa! Finally, and this is

the most important one:

He's swinging free!

Don't think.

It's all about

getting out of your head.

It's about impulse.

It's about living in the moment.

It's about now.

- Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

- No!

We all said we would wear the same outfit.

Everybody agreed.

"Let's start wearing

matching outfits."

I felt like this was the only thing

all of us owned. Say, "yes, and."

Nobody's "yes, and-ing" me

right now.

You've gotta go. You've gotta go.

I'm being a professional.

In improv,

there are no mistakes.

Like Del close once said,

"fall and then figure out

what to do on the way down."

- Welcome to the improv

- for America theater.

Please turn off your cell phones.

There's no talking.

All right, got your back.

Got your back, got your

back, got your back.

Guys, I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, no.

Sorry.

"Guys, I'm sorry I'm late."

"Sorry." "There was this

sun in the sky and... oh!"

Guess what.

What?

Don't care that you're late.

I don't care that you're late.

Please welcome the commune!

All right, you guys, let's go.

Hi. I'm Sam.

I'm miles.

I'm bill.

Allison.

Lindsay.

Jack.

And we are the commune.

Everything you see tonight

is gonna be improvised.

This show is really

all about you guys.

So we want to know, has anybody out

here had a particularly hard day?

And something actually hard, not

like your roommate ate your yogurt.

It was still shitty

when you ate my yogurt, miles.

Go ahead.

I'm looking for

an apartment, and it sucks.

Like, why specifically

does it suck?

The only one I can afford has the

bathroom in the kitchen. Hmm.

Hi.

Great.

Hi.

As you can see,

there's two bedrooms.

Lovely.

Here is the kitchen.

Nice. There's a

beautiful bathroom.

Is that a toilet?

Yes, that is.

The toilet is in the kitchen.

Hmm, mm.

Mm-hmm, yes. Mm-hmm.

And, um, who are they?

They... they are...

Uh, they are orphans.

They are orphans.

Hi.

Uh, did you say "orphans"?

Yes. The apartment

comes with orphans.

Oh.

Yes, yes, yes.

Does the landlord mind

if I paint?

You can't paint the orphans, no,

but you can paint the walls.

This is the place I was telling you about.

It has a lot of character.

This is my husband.

I love it.

It's great. Hey, guys, this is it.

It's gonna sell today.

You gotta go for it.

I'll take it.

No, I'm gonna take it. We'll

pay 30 percent over asking.

Well, I'll pay

50 percent over asking.

Well, we'll pay

100 percent over asking.

No, well, I'll pay $2 million

for this apartment.

For... really?

Yes.

Okay, yeah. What makes you

want this apartment so badly?

It's the orphans.

I want to raise them.

- Mm-hmm. -This was my first

group, the awakening, in 1997.

That had me, bill,

Brad Burke. He's on...

He's on stuck in the middle. Yeah, yeah.

He's done really well.

And this guy's on weekend live, right?

Hugh Finn, yeah.

Wow. I auditioned that year too.

I was... inches.

And you're very talented. I mean, you're

upper third of your class, but...

Most of these guys,

they're just not gonna make it.

Three percent...

Excuse me just a second.

No, Bonnie,

we could move the theater.

We could find a space

in Brooklyn.

We could move

to long island city, Astoria.

- All the music venues, they're

heading to Bushwick. -Or Gowanus.

The business model

for selling $5 tickets to a show

is not exactly sound.

The theater's closing. We've gotta

be out of there in four weeks.

They're selling.

Another trump building, I think.

New York City is over.

New York City, you're fired.

Improv for America,

you're fired.

All of America, you're fired.

- What the hell was that?

- That was trump.

JFK.

That was JFK.

Your impersonation

is so bad, you're fired.

We're not leaving.

We could start a protest.

We could do

like an online campaign.

Occupy!

Miles, come on.

Protest! Protest!

Whoa! Whoa!

Jesus.

It was a bit.

A bit gone bad.

Samantha Byrne, you took that bit too far.

You're fired.

I concur. You're fired.

JFK.

Most of us live here.

Oh, really? Jack and Sam

moved out last year.

They have their own place.

Lindsay lives with her parents.

- My parents live with me.

- Yeah, whatever.

This is my room.

Watch your head on the pipe.

Oh.

It's, uh, not huge, but...

Neither am I, so...

What if I threw up

in your mouth?

That's it.

You throw up?

I'd go, "thanks, baby bird."

So weird. You're so...

You're so weird, I love you.

It's too gross even for me.

It's too gross.

I like that you went with it though.

I did.

I like that you went with it.

I like that you went with it.

I need to work on my Irish.

I like that you went for it. No.

That's just a speech impediment.

I thought it was a good show.

Oh, let me show you something.

Look at this.

- Hmm? -I don't know

what you're showing me.

It's called Bucky's.

It looks like a porn house.

It is. I bought it

for practically nothing.

I'll wipe the splooge off the

walls and flip it into a sephora.

Dad, I've told you I'm not

interested in real estate.

All right.

You still giving out

hummus samples?

No. I got a new job.

Great.

Hummus and chips?

No, thank you.

Hummus and chips?

No.

Okay. Follow me.

Like, I'm the most talented

copy editor at my agency,

and they fired me.

What's crazy is,

I don't even need the job.

It's hard to have

wealthy parents, Lindsay.

Can we have another suggestion?

Uh, pen.

Hey, man, I got you

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