Don't Think Twice Page #5

and she doesn't know that

she's fighting to win the love

of an alien and Sasquatch

and Abe Lincoln's ghost.

All right. And then

she wins Abe Lincoln.

He's like, "I can't 'cause I'm

married," and she's like,

"well, then why did you

even join this game show?"

He's like, "'cause I had

a gun to my head."

And then it's actually...

It's John Wilkes booth,

and he's gonna shoot him.

Then John Wilkes booth

is, like, a handsome ghost,

and he's like,

"well, I'm single."

And she's into it

'cause she likes ghosts.

That's out there.

That's awesome.

Gary Cho could play that

Sasquatch, no problem. No problem.

It's too plot heavy.

I don't like it.

They have to order for him

'cause they're like...

Hey, I've got a few friends that

want to submit some writing.

When would be, like, a good time

to talk to Timothy about that?

Is this like a bet?

No, I'm just asking.

Oh, this is like a real thing?

Oh, never.

Don't ever talk to Timothy

about your funny friends.

First year, just don't get fired.

Right, right.

So just don't ever do it

during the first year?

I'm sorry. Was my, like,

tone not sarcastic enough?

Never do it. Ever.

Um... um...

So... I'm filling in

for miles today.

I have to confess, this is

my first ever time teaching.

So it's new for me, it's new for you,

but I think it's gonna be great.

I really think you guys...

I see bright shiny eyes,

and you're making me happy.

Um... what did I

wanna talk to you about?

I wanted to talk to you

about group minds.

We're on the verge. I feel it, right?

So I want...

Even when you're just coming in

and doing warm-ups, zip zap zop,

I want you guys to really be

connecting with each other.

Um...

Does anybody have any questions?

Yes.

I'm sorry.

I'm just finding this

really confusing.

Good note. Good note.

Um, has anybody had

a particularly hard day?

I had to come back

from France early.

Oh!

Oh!

I went to Europe, and I had to come

home early. Oh, the poor girl.

The poor girl

had to go to Europe.

I had to go to France.

Oh, honey.

She had to go to Europe. Is

there anything we can do? I...

This is really depressing.

I'm sorry.

I donate at the office

for kids who have to

come back from Europe.

Yes. I was gonna go to Belgium.

Is there anything you can do?

I don't know.

I mean, I'm kind of dealing

with my own stuff right now.

What kind of stuff?

I have no bone marrow.

- Hey, guys. This is Liz.

- Hey.

Came to the show tonight. We went

to Naperville high school together.

Hi. We used to do high

school theater together.

We did high school theater. We did

a midsummer night's dream. Yeah.

I used to watch her change.

What?

Yeah, true. True story.

That's terrible.

Weird.

This was such a nice surprise.

Oh. Well, you know,

I'm on my world tour.

And I've been following your posts on

Facebook about the commune for years.

I had to check it out.

That's so cool.

I remember in high school you

were the star of every play

and I was always, like,

the milkman or the messenger.

Narrator.

Narrator.

I was a clown

or the stage manager.

Watch your head on the pipe.

This is it.

You know, not huge,

but neither am I.

Wow. This is moving

pretty fast.

No, no, I...

Gosh, no, I...

I wasn't gonna suggest

that we...

I'm not staying here. No, no, no,

I didn't think that you would.

I'm a 36-year-old woman. I'm not

gonna stay in your college dorm.

No, no, of course.

Here. Sorry, sorry.

You're misunderstanding.

I'm 36 as well.

So I'm here for a few weeks.

Oh, I'd love to see you

as much as, you know...

As much as my schedule allows?

Yeah. Hey!

I had a great time.

Oh. Uh...

You should come by tomorrow.

We're gonna watch Jack on TV.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do that.

Yeah. So...

Oh.

"Thank you forever."

Just be careful with those.

"Art which is most exciting

today is impermanent

and not meant to last

except as an act of love.

It just comes out

between people.

It doesn't want

to be written down.

It passes in the moment

and disappears."

So, for tomorrow,

do you wanna...

Do you want me to get you seats or do

you wanna hang out in my dressing room?

I don't know if I can

go back in that building.

Okay.

I could meet you at the party.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's good. Yeah.

It's weekend live!

We're gonna watch the show here, but

Jack is gonna get us into the party.

And...

Jack Mercer!

ICK.

F***.

- He did it.

- That's our guy.

Musical guest, Elel.

Five, four,

three, two, one. Go.

Step right up!

I can get your tickets

for you right here!

Tickets! Yeah. Uh, I was

gonna get two tickets,

but I was gonna use a kiosk.

Look no further than me, friend.

I can get you tickets

right here,

and I can get 'em for you

at a g-r-e-a-t price.

Not funny.

Skillful, but not funny.

It's like when something sounds

funny, but it isn't funny.

Please welcome Elel!

We gotta go.

I... dude, I'm coming.

I'm coming. Just give me one second.

Do not leave without me!

No room for your

funny friends, Jack.

Robbie, do not leave without me.

We'll hang

outside the time Warner.

Jack said meet at the stage door.

Stage door?

We're not waiting

outside a building.

Why not? He's probably there

looking for us right now.

That's not even where the party is!

Let's go.

Fine.

Liz and I are not doing that.

We are 36-year-old adults.

Lena! Lena! Lena!

Excuse me.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry.

Hey, you think any more of 'em

will come out? That's probably it.

My man, you know where the party's at?

I don't know.

Where'd you get that picture?

That's our friend Jack.

I don't know who he is. I

found it on a message board.

That's my boyfriend.

Okay.

That's my arm around him

in that picture.

Yeah, that's her.

Yeah.

Can you guys give me a

little space or something?

I'm taking off, you guys.

I think Liz and I are done.

Yeah, I'm outta here.

Really?

- Hey.

- Have a seat.

Thank you.

You were very good.

Thank you so much. It's

just been so surreal.

- Don't thank me now.

It's weak. -Right.

Thank me if I don't fire

you after the first season.

Right.

Yeah.

I'm kidding.

Oh.

But I got you something.

I'm gonna give you a hint.

It's Swedish.

It's wooden.

It's a bicycle.

Oh!

Yeah, when Bjrk did the show, she

brought her designer Artipelag,

and, uh, he made that by hand.

Really?

Thank you so much. I...

Um...

Uh, should I take it

back over to my table, or...

Oh, we'll store that for you.

Gotcha. Gotcha.

Or you can ride.

Oh.

Hey.

Mmm.

Oh, boy, there she is.

Mmm. Hi.

No, buddy.

Hello.

Ain't happenin'.

Oh, that was like a baby bird.

You know what? I'm gonna sleep

on the couch. You sleep in here.

Hello.

Oh, hello.

Yeah, Timothy recommended these.

- Um, they were imported

from Holland. -God.

He gave them to Dorothy Goodwin

when she went into rehab.

Oh! Not these

particular flowers.

I'm just saying,

it's from that place.

Rehab flowers.

Yeah.

Hey. Sweetie.

I am so sorry about last night.

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