Doug's 1st Movie Page #3

Season #1 Episode #1

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Al:

: Imbeciles.

Elmo:

(going to sneeze)

ROGER (enters)

You may wonder why I’ve gathered you here.

ELMO:

Indigable.

ROGER:

Uh, bless you. As you may know there is at this moment, a monster which threatens our very way of life.

Al:

(coughing) Lamebrain.

A.V. Nerd #2:

I’m sorry I didn’t catch that one.

AL:

Lame. Brain.

Nerd #2:

Thank you.

ROGER:

As I was saying, there is only one thing that can save us from certain destruction. I present to you, RoboCrusher!

ELMO:

(coughs) Doofus!

ROGER:

Note the pincer claws and x-ray eyes. I draw myself down here for scale. Money is no object, gentlemen you have exactly twenty-four hours.

(various coughs and talking, scene switches to Doug and Skeeter in the woods)

DOUG:

This is going to make working on the school paper seem like working on the school paper!

SKEETER:

I don’t know if we can actually catch him man, I mean after all it’s a monster. Let’s just get our bikes before it gets dark.

DOUG:

Where are they? They were right here?

SKEETER:

(looking down) Bike tracks!

DOUG:

Oh yeah, right next to the b-b-big webbed footprint.

DOUG & SKEETER

Oh man!

(at Skeeter’s house)

SKEETER:

Do you think the monster actually ate our bikes, man?

DOUG:

Well, I don’t think he’s riding them around the bottom of the lake.

SKEETER:

Um, maybe we could use Dale’s tricycle for bait. The monster will think it’s a snack.

DOUG:

I don’t know man, I mean what if he doesn’t stop at metal, what’s to keep him from eating us? (phone rings, Skeeter coughs and chokes on the milk he is drinking)

SKEETER:

Can you get that? I think I got milk up my nose.

DOUG:

(answers phone) Hello?

PATTI:

Oh Doug, I’m glad you’re there, I wanted to thank you.

DOUG Thank me?

PATTI I never would have thought of signing up to work with Guy if it weren’t for you.

DOUG Oh great. Look Pa-

PATTI And did you hear the news? Guy got Mr. Bluff to give us money to have the dance at - are you ready for this? - Funkytown!

DOUG Funkytown, that’s uh- Patti? Can we meet and talk about this later? Something just came up.

PATTI Sure Doug. How ‘bout Swirly’s in an hour?

DOUG Swirly’s. An hour. Great. (Doug hangs up phone)

SKEETER Ya I was thinkin’, if that thing ate our bikes, he might like cafeteria food.

DOUG He didn’t eat them, look!

(Doug and Skeeter see their bikes in the backyard and go outside)

DOUG & SKEETER Oh man!

SKEETER I guess somebody must have brought them back.

DOUG Yeah, somebody with monster feet!

(they follow the footprints and realize they lead into the house)

SKEETER Oh, h-he’s in the house!

(scene jumps to Doug opening Skeeter’s front door in homemade protection suits, Skeeter shines a flashlight around the entrance)

SKEETER C’mon, looks like the coast is clear. Uh OK. Let’s go.

DOUG Let’s go.

SKEETER OK quiet (Skeeter shields his face and loses balance knocking over a light and causing a power outage to the whole neighborhood)

SKEETER (quivering) Oh man! (Skeeter shines flashlight around kitchen) Nope, no monsters here.

DOUG Shouldn’t we go downstairs and check your room?

(Doug and Skeeter gulp, scene changes to Doug and Skeeter opening basement door)

SKEETER Hello, we’re -um- coming downstairs!

DOUG Here we come.

SKEETER (shines light around his room) Um, anybody here? (they get close to Skeeter’s closet door) Um, you can open it if you want.

DOUG Go ahead.

(Skeeter slowly opens closet door. Doug and Skeeter quiver and moan as if scared what will come out)

SKEETER (when he sees nothing in the closet) Phew! (flashlight flickers and goes out) Oh man, I’ll go get another flashlight.

DOUG I’ll get it, where is it?

SKEETER Oh that’s OK, I know where it is.

DOUG Yeah, but I’m the guest, The guest always gets the spare flashlight, that’s etiquette man.

(Skeeter whistles nervously and goes towards his bed, we hear purring in the background. Skeeter tried to reach under the bed, but can’t, monster appears behind him)

SKEETER I can’t get down there. Hey Doug check under the bed would ya? (Monster squeals as if saying “me?” and purrs) Yeah, now just look under the- (stammers and tries to scream but can’t, whispers “Monster”, face shield falls over his face and he yells. He runs into a wall several times) Oh my head. (he lifts face shield, the monster roars and Skeeter screams more. Then he runs up the stairs but falls down and then is hit with a garbage can. Face shield falls in front of monster, he yelps and tries to put it back on the garbage can but falls off. He goes to the bed and cradles the face shield.)

DOUG (looking in from outside a window) Skeeter?

(Doug is back inside with Skeeter, they don’t have their body gear on anymore and they are watching the monster who is fiddling with the face shield Skeeter was wearing by his desk)

SKEETER Well, he thinks my head fell off.

DOUG He looks really upset.

SKEETER He’s so nice.

DOUG He’s not scary at all.

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