Doug's 1st Movie Page #5

Season #1 Episode #1

---

DOUG N. I took every shortcut I could think of to get to Swirly’s and even some I shouldn’t have.

(Doug enters Lucky Duck Park and jumps over a bush and rips his pants)

DOUG Huh? Perfect (jumps over ice patches on the sidewalk of the park and gets to the end, then a truck splashes mud all over him) Great.

DOUG N. I was late, I looked like mud and I smelled like monster. But I’d knew I’d done the right thing and I was hoping Patti would understand. (he enters Swirly’s)

(inside Swirly’s) MR. SWIRLY Yeah, she was here a long time. She looked kind of upset, then she left with a guy who kept talking about his big plans for some dance.

DOUG Uh, thank you.

(at the Funkytown Disco)

GUY I see spotlights, dozens of them! Every colour of the rainbow, huge spinning hearts, it’ll be big big big!

PATTI Wow, that is big!

GUY We’re a great team! Do you know that?

(Doug enters) DOUG Hey guys!

GUY How did you get in here?

DOUG Bought a ticket. Patti, can I talk to you alone?

PATTI We’re a little busy right now Doug, what is it?

DOUG I came to apologize for being so late to Swirly’s. I had a good reason. Something happened but I can’t explain it now.

PATTI Oh.

GUY Couldn’t get permission from your mommy? C’mon Patti, we don’t have time for this little kids stuff.

DOUG We have proof Mr. Bluff ‘s polluting the lake, that’s why I-

GUY (interrupts) Hold it right there. (gets in Doug’s face, grabs his arm and whispers) Listen pal, if I were you, I wouldn’t go around saying stuff you can’t prove!

DOUG Well I’ve GOT proof! (moves his arm to release Guy’s grip)

GUY What proof?

DOUG I can’t say.

GUY Right, well you better watch yourself, Mr. Bluff got us into Funkytown to have a dance. If he hears you’ve been shooting your mouth off, we might be stuck dancing in the school parking lot! (laughs)

PATTI What’s the matter with that? I mean, if Doug’s right, isn’t the truth more important than having the dance at Funkytown?

GUY (stammers) Well I haven’t heard any truth for one! People’ve been saying dumb stuff like that for years.

DOUG You’ll see tomorrow. It’s going to be (mocking Guy) big, big, big, big news! Patti, in the mean time, I just came by to tell you I’m sorry I was late. But you’ll see why tomorrow. (Doug straightens his jacket and the monster picture falls to the ground, then he leaves)

PATTI See ‘ya Doug. (Guy picks up the picture and gasps, Patti sees it) What’s that?

GUY Nothing, nothing babe. I’ll be right back, gotta make a call.

(scene switches to the Bluff’s having dinner at the dinner table)

BEEBE So I told Coach Spitz, I’m not allowed to sweat and he looked at me really mean, and then he says to give him five laps. Can I sue him daddy?

(butler is whispering to Bill)

BILL This better be important (he leaves the table and gets the phone). Yes Guy? (pause). A picture of what? Of WHAT?!

(scene cuts to Herman sleeping under Doug’s bed, camera zooms out showing Skeeter is sleeping over with Doug)

SKEETER I talked to Mayor Tippy, she says the news conference is on! Tomorrow night in here front lawn.

DOUG This’ll be so great! I have to make sure Patti comes then she’ll understand about Swirly’s. I wonder what shoes I should wear.

(Phil opens Doug’s bedroom door and peaks in)

PHIL You boys are up awful late, telling scary stories? (laughs)

SKEETER Uh, k-kinda Mr. Funnie.

PHIL Holler if you want me to check under the bed for monsters!

DOUG & SKEETER NO!

(Phil gets a puzzled look on his face and leaves, scene changes to the next morning, Porkchop is barking outside of the house, Doug, Skeeter and Herman are in Doug’s room)

DOUG My parents are gone all day Herman, you stay here, we’ll be back after school O.K.? (Doug and Skeeter leave his room and go down the stairs)

SKEETER We’re going to have to do something about Porkchop man, if he doesn’t chill out the police are going to come.

DOUG Yeah he’s going nuts. (Doug opens the front door and Porkchop runs in and zooms up the stairs) Whoa! Porkchop, Nooo! (he opens the door holding Porkchop back by the collar) I want you to be nice to Herman Melville! (he jumps on the bed and barks, Herman gives him a Valentine heart and Porkchop starts to cry and jumps into Herman’s arms)

SKEETER I think we’ve all learned something here. (Doug closes the door)

DOUG I think I like the barking better.

(cuts to Mr. Bluff’s Assistant Bob is pointing at a map)

BOB Our people have located monster tracks coming toward town. we have agents in the air, on the ground and one is underwater.

BILL Not good enough! We have to find that monster now! It must be crushed! (he crushes a paper bag)

BILL That was my lunch sir.

(scene changes to Doug and Patti talking at school in the hallway at Patti’s locker)

PATTI A press conference? Wow, whatever you found must be important Doug!

DOUG Trust me, it’s happening on the Dink’s lawn. We sort of have something in the house, but we can’t show anybody. Will you come?

PATTI Well I’m pretty busy with the-

DOUG (pleading) Please?

PATTI Sure Doug, of course.

DOUG I’m glad you trust me about this after I- you know- Swirly’s…

PATTI Forget it Doug. Just don’t do it again or I’ll brain ‘ya!

DOUG You’ll find out everything tonight Patti, it’ll all make sense. Gotta run, see ‘ya.

PATTI? Doug?

DOUG Yeah?

PATTI Should I bring Guy?

DOUG Why- why do you want to bring him?

PATTI Since it’s news and he is head of the school newspaper and all.

DOUG Sure, bring Guy. Perfect!

(School is over and Doug and Skeeter are walking home)

SKEETER I hope Herman Melville is OK.

DOUG Don’t worry, he’s safe with Porkchop. Besides nobody knows he’s there.

(cuts back to Mr. Bluff and Bluff Assistant)

BLUFF AGENT #1 Mr. Bluff, they found it! They found the monster! Some kids house. We- we surrounded it!

BILL Good. Very good.

(we see Bluff agent’s and Bluffco cars surrounding a house saying “Move it, Go!”, then we see Porkchop playing the piano with Herman then back to Doug and Skeeter walking close to Doug’s house)

SKEETER I wonder whose car that is in front of your house?

DOUG (shrugs) Probably some reporter.

(scene changes back to the agents getting ready to enter the house, then cuts back to Porkchop and Herman at the piano, changes back to the agents armed with laser guns kick in the door)

AGENT #1 Freeze!

(scene changes to Porkchop surprised, we see Doug and Skeeter enter the house)

DOUG Hey, ready to be on TV?

(back to the agents)

AGENT Hand over the monster. (we see the nerds working on the robot)

MOO Sorry, wrong garage I’m afraid. No monster here. YET!

AGENT #2 Sir, I think we have the wrong house.

(scene changes to Guy and Patti at school at the door of the newspaper office)

GUY He says he has something inside his house? Hmm, really. Sure, I think I can come. Just have to make a phone call babe. (shuts the door in Patti’s face, changes back to Bill and Assistant)

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes