Doug's 1st Movie Page #6

Season #1 Episode #1

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BOB Look at the bright side Mr. Bluff, it’s not so much as they got the wrong house as much as they eliminated a house. No monster here.

BILL (Bill is on the phone with Guy) Quiet! What time? Perfect! (hangs up phone) Well looks like our monster’s coming to us. Call our guys down at the press and get a few trucks.

(scene changes to the press conference in the Dink’s lawn, various news reporters are talking)

TIPPY I’d like to thank you all for coming this afternoon.

(Doug, Skeeter, Herman and Mr. Dink are inside a type of outside room)

DOUG A lot of reporters out there, this is going to be so great.

SKEETER (sighs) I don’t know man.

DOUG What’s the matter?

SKEETER I got a funny feeling about this. Maybe we should forget the whole thing.

DOUG Are you kidding? Do you wanna stop now?

SKEETER I don’t know I’m asking. Wouldn’t it be safer if we just took Herman back to the lake and forgot all this?

DOUG Take him back? But- you mean…(a daydream begins, Doug and Skeeter are on TV as dumb hillbillies)

SKEETER Uh, we had a monster. Swear! (giggle)

DOUG Duh, but we let ‘im go (goofy laugh) Yeah! (goofy laugh)

SKEETER Sure did! No lie! Yup!

PATTI (watching the TV) What a pair of liars!

DOUG & SKEETER Huh?

GUY (turns off TV) I told ‘ya. Now kiss me (he leans towards Patti for a kiss, daydream is over).

DOUG No Skeet, we gotta do this cause, it’s the right thing to do.

SKEETER You just had a fantasy about Patti didn’t you?

DOUG No….well kind of.

SKEETER You always get that blurry look.

DOUG But do you really want everybody to think you were either crazy or lying all this time when you said there was a monster? They’ll never believe you if you don’t show them Herman.

SKEETER I guess, you’re right man. Well, better get out there. See ‘ya in minute Herman (Herman moans “bye”).

(back outside with Tippy) TIPPY I’d like to introduce Mosquito Valentine, who’ll tell you the story in his own words. (she leaves and Skeeter comes to the podium)

SKEETER Thank you Mayor Tippy, honk honk (makes continuous various mouth sounds). Sorry, always wanted to do that on TV (clears throat) Four months a go, I was fishing at Lucky Duck Lake….(voice trails off as Guy and Patti arrive)

GUY Ah, this is pointless, we should be working on the dance.

PATTI Shouldn’t you be here anyway Guy? After all, you’re head of the school paper.

GUY I couldn’t get this story in the paper if I tried.

PATTI What do you mean?

GUY You know, we have this dinky little crank mimeo machine, it takes two weeks to get the news out, it’s ancient history by then. If I want a story to come out on time I have to right it before it happens.

PATTI That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.

(back in the room with Mr. Dink and Herman)

DOUG (excited) She made it! Patti made it! See Herman, that’s her! (Herman points to his head) Yeah, the one with the yellow hair, that’s her, that’s Patti! I can’t wait to take you out there (not excited) and show you.

BUD:

That’s funny, (Bud is changing channels on the TV) the speech is supposed to be going out live. But it’s not on any of the channels.

DOUG Hmmm…

(back outside) PATTI What are you so fidgety for?

GUY Nothing, nothing.

(Doug is outside going behind the reporters)

SKEETER It was here, that I first had contact with the monster. And so, let me reveal our discover, which will reveal once and for all that there is a Lucky Duck Lake monster.

(Doug trips on a cable wire and a cameraman’s camera deflates)

CAMERAMAN Hey, watch it buddy (he re-inflates his camera).

SKEETER And now I guess its time to talk about what happened at my house. My friend Doug Funnie, with an I.E. will help me. Hey Doug! (all the reporters turn to face him, Doug gulps and he comes up to the podium) Alright, he’s coming!

DOUG (he stands in front of the microphone) Well I’d like to say…um…something’s not right I think we made a big mistake. (reporters argue “Mr. Funnie, is this your idea of a joke?”) I’m sorry I got to go now. (he runs behind the Dink’s house)

GUY I knew it! Sea monsters, right.

PATTI I can’t believe it.

GUY What a major con artist! (sighs) I can’t believe you dragged me to this joke!

PATTI I’m really sorry about this Guy, I had no idea Doug would lie like that (they walk away).

DOUG (calling to Patti) Wait! Stop! (reporters hound him questions and remarks) Patti! Patti!

(scene changes to Roger and the nerds at Roger’s house)

ROGER Well, it’s about time! O.K. let’s see it!

AL May we present…

ALL NERDS RoboCrusher!

(camera focus up close on his claws and whole body, then camera zooms out to see it is smaller than Roger)

ROGER You lame brains! It’s dinky. Didn’t you look at my plan? It’s supposed to be this big compared to me!

ELMO Exactly! (he takes out a ray gun and shoots a laser beam at Roger which shrinks him)

ROGER You dip sticks, this is wrong. Change me back, change me back now!

ELMO Can we do that?

AL & MOO (shrug saying “I don’t know)

(scene changes back to the Dink’s lawn and the outside room)

SKEETER What happened Doug? Why didn’t you tell them about the monster?

TIPPY What’s going on?

DOUG Look! (a reporter opens the back of his news truck, inside is a giant cage. Then back inside the Dink’s house, Herman is hugging Doug)

SKETTER He’s trying to thank you for saving him man.

DOUG Tell him to stop it (Herman drops him and he falls on the ground, he gets up and starts pointing to his hair). Huh?

SKEETER You’re head itch Herman?

DOUG No, he means Patti. And he’s right, she must think I’m a big liar now (he sits on a couch).

TIPPY You did the right thing Doug. I’m proud of you.

SKEETER I’ve been telling people all year there was a monster in the lake. They thought I was making it up, now they’ll never believe me.

TIPPY Bill Bluff is going to stop at nothing boys, we know that now. We have to do what’s right.

SKEETER Even if everybody thinks we’re big fat liars?

TIPPY You boys don’t want anything to happen to Herman, and I know you wouldn’t want to make yourselves look good if it would hurt him. Right boys? (Herman and Skeeter sit with Doug on the couch)

DOUG & SKEETER Right. (Herman gives Skeeter and Doug a big hug and kisses them)

TIPPY You just have to do that right thing no matter what people think. Eventually, the truth will come out. Now, what do you say we have some of Bud’s leftover meatloaf.

BUD Now you’re talking. Let’s go boys.

(they leave, scene changes to Roger in his house going to his room)

ROGER What kind of loser nerds can’t even build a stinkin’ robot right. Where did they put that pile of junk? (he opens the door to his room and sees the robot cleaning up and dressed in a maid’s outfit, she’s changed the room with pink decorations) Ahh, my room! What happened to my room?

ROBOCRUSHER Ah, you didn’t expect me to leave that atrocious mess did you? Now, let’s get you out of that beastly outfit and into something more presentable (she holds a vest-shirt combination like Doug’s, Roger screams. Scene changes to the Bluff’s at the dinner table).

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