Doug's 1st Movie Page #9

Season #1 Episode #1

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PATTI I know you think I must be dumb because I believe all that monster stuff..

SKEETER I think you hurt his feelings.

GUY We might be stuck dancing in the school parking lot!

DOUG ..much cooler than over seeing a dance.

BILL If you know what’s good for ‘ya, you’ll forget everything that happened here tonight.

BEEBE Guy has real accomplishments, and he’s friend with my dad.

DOUG I know your dad.

BILL Not like he does (Doug’s blanket forms Bill Bluff’s head as he laughs, the camera spins around in Bill’s mouth as Doug screams and the dream is over).

DOUG N. (Doug is out of his house and running to school) The next morning, it dawned on me. I was using Herman to try to impress Patti. I wasn’t thinking about what would happen to him until it was too late. Now I had a chance to try to save him. My last chance. There was only one person that could help me get through to Mr. Bluff. It was about time to swallow my pride. (he gets to school and knocks on the door, the janitor opens the door for him)

DOUG Have you seen Guy?

JANITOR Yeah, I think I saw him in the news office. (Doug runs to the news office and looks in)

DOUG Guy?

DOUG N. Or at least he had been there.

DOUG (sighs) Arg, huh? (he goes over to the computer)

DOUG N. That’s when I saw it.

DOUG Oh no! (he sits at the computer’s chair)

SKEETER I’ve been looking for you everywhere man. What is it man?

DOUG On the screen. Next week’s Weekly Beebe.

SKEETER (reading from the screen) Monster destroyed, Bill Bluff a hero!

DOUG We’re too late. Herman’s dead.

(Doug and Skeeter are at Swirly’s sitting at a table)

DOUG This stinks! Everything stinks. They killed Herman. This stinks!

SKEETER (reading from a print out they made) “Night of fun turns into night of terror, when monster rampages through school Valentine dance.” (he hands the paper to Doug)

DOUG:

“The horrible monster was blasted into smithereens thus saving the dance organized by cool upperclassman Guy Graham?”

SKEETER:

Of course, he had to mention his dance.

DOUG:

Wait a minute, that’s- the dance isn’t until tonight. What was I thinking. Of course, Guy wanted to make sure this was in next week’s paper. This isn’t what they did, this is what they’re going to do.

SKEETER:

Mayor Tippy! (they leave the table)

(we see the Dink’s house as the phone rings, Bud answers the phone)

BUD:

Dink residence. Oh, hello Douglas. Oh, I’m sorry. Mr. Bluff asked Tippy to fill in for him at a charity function in Bloatsburg. Can I connect you to our very expensive voice mail? Let’s see, you press two…

(we then see Doug and Skeeter at a pay phone in front of Swirly’s)

DOUG:

No, that’s O.K. Mr. Dink, thanks. (Doug hangs up the phone) Mr. Bluff, even got to Mayor Tippy, he’s out of town.

SKEETER:

(sighs) What are we going to do man? We’ve only got a few hours.

(pause)

DOUG:

We’re going to get some real help (he picks up the phone and dials).

SKEETER:

The police?

DOUG:

Even better!

(scene changes to two telephones ringing, camera zooms out as we see who answers the phone at the same time)

AL & MOO

Hello, Sleech residence.

(scene then changes to Doug, Skeeter, Al and Moo in Doug’s room)

DOUG:

We only have a few hours left, we have to save a life so it’s important to make sure we get everything right. Here’s the deal…

(upbeat music plays as we see the boys are very busy making plans and talking to each other for a long time having snacks in between. Then Theda comes into the room and the boys stop. She looks back and forth at the boys and replaces and empty plate of cookies with a new full plate and leaves the room, the boys get back to business as it turns to night time.)

DOUG:

Well that’s it, we better get going and hope we get it right.

SKEETER Wait a minute. Oh no!

DOUG:

What? What is it?

SKEETER:

Even if we get Herman Melville free, what are we going to do with him? We can’t take him back to the lake.

DOUG:

That’s right, it’s totally polluted.

(Porkchop is barking and pulling on Doug’s shirt)

DOUG:

What is it Porkchop?

AL:

I believe your canine friend is pointing to something on the map.

DOUG:

Porkchop, you’re a genius.

SKEETER:

What is it?

DOUG:

Funkytown is next to Lucky Duck Lake, but there’s a back entrance and it leads to Crystal Lake and that’s where we’re taking Herman. We know what to do, let’s go.

(scene changes to the Funkytown entrance, a bus pulls up and lets of people who are going to the dance)

DOUG:

8:
14. Ready and mark. What did you just push?

AL:

This cool light.

(bus leaves and we see Roger steps out of his limo and go towards the entrance, RoboCrusher jumps in)

ROGER:

Joey Cucamonga! Give me a heart attack why don’t ya?

ROBOCRUSHER:

I brought you this (she pulls out a winter jacket). That jacket may be fashionable but it’s certainly not warm enough (she puts it on him).

ROGER:

Nooooooo!

(scene changes to the Funkytown Disco where a band is playing “Deep Deep Water” and Bluff agents are all around with their laser guns)

PRINCIPAL BOB WHITE

(talking to Roger’s gang) Why aren’t you boys dancing?

WILLY:

Duh, you mean with a girl?

BOOMER:

I’m eatin’ snacks.

WILLY:

I have to go to the bathroom.

(camera spreads across the room and we see Doug entering the disco)

DOUG:

Huh? (he looks up and notices all of the agents around the room, Skeeter is across the room)

SKEETER:

My, this is certainly good punch, eh Elmo? (he looks towards Doug who gives him a nod and Skeeter goes outside to the delivery area) Excuse me, mister guard sir? I’m expecting a truck to come over from Bluffco in a few minutes.

GUARD:

(looks at his clipboard) Nope, no trucks due tonight.

SKEETER:

You’re sure there’s not one parked near by? Gonna pull up at 8:30? Kinda big, smells fishy? No? Maybe I’ll just wait and see.

(scene goes to Roger, the robot and Al and Moo at the entrance of the dance)

ROGER:

I’m telling you, I got royally jinxed. I demand that you make this thing leave me alone.

AL:

No problem Roger.

MOO:

Why didn’t you ask? RoboCrusher, 46-21.

(RoboCrusher moans and falls to the ground, Roger kicks it)

ROGER:

Well its about time (walks toward the dance). Humph!

AL:

(talking into is watch) Phase one complete.

DOUG:

(responding) Roger. (Roger is walking behind him and comes over to Doug.)

ROGER:

What?

DOUG:

Uh.. nice jacket?

ROGER:

Yeah right. (he takes off the jacket RoboCrusher gave him, we see Doug’s watch turn to 8:27, then we see Patti looking around the room and Guy jumping at her)

GUY:

Hey, looking for someone?

PATTI:

Oh Guy, you scared me. (she laughs, Doug gets annoyed and shakes his fists, then scene changes back outside with Skeeter)

SKEETER:

Are you sure, nothing supposed to shop up around 8:30? From Bluffco?

GUARD:

Nope, they made their delivery hours ago.

SKEETER:

Oh. (gasps)

(back inside)

PATTI:

Nobody’s dancing, maybe we should go out and break the ice?

GUY:

You took the words right out of my mouth. Only let’s wait a couple minutes.

PATTI:

Why?

GUY:

(angry) Because I said so. I mean, let’s just wait, over here, please?

SKEETER:

(heard on Doug’s receiver) Herman’s already here.

DOUG:

What?

SKEETER:

They already got Herman here someplace, look around quick.

(Al and Moo are cover RoboCrusher with a table clothe)

MOO:

(gasps) 8:
30!

AL:

He must be right in the middle of everything.

DOUG:

In the middle.

(he sees the agents getting ready into position with their lasers)

AGENT:

Stand by. Wait for it.

DOUG:

(looks around a sees a giant heart in the middle of the dance floor on a table) The heart.

PATTI:

Oh Guy. (she laughs and walks away from where Doug is)

DOUG N.

I had to make the hardest decision of my life. Going after Patti, or saving Herman.

(he runs towards the heart, scene changes outside Funkytown where a limo pulls up and Bill Bluff steps out)

BOB:

Just in timer sir. We’re just about to break the heart.

(back inside, Doug is wheeling the heart out of the room)

GUY:

What’s he doing?

AGENT:

The hour is approaching. (he gets ready to fire) Hold your fire, get these kids out of the way. (Doug and Skeeter keep wheeling out the heart, when suddenly the heart begins to crack)

DOUG:

No Herman. Stay, stay! (he fully cracks open the heart, Doug and Skeeter grab him and run off) C’mon Skeet let’s get him outta here.

(at the same time, Al and Moo uncover RoboCrusher who is now dressed in the costume Roger had when he was going to scare Skeeter. The robot begins a pretend rampage of the dance)

ROBOCRUSHER:

(moans) I’m a monster!

AGENT #1

It’s over there. It’s over there. (he guides the other agents towards the robot. The agents come from all around) Go, go, go. Fire. (all the agents shoot the robot with laser guns, breaking plates as well. The robot falls and crawls on the ground, it smokes and flails a bit. Behind the crowd and some speakers, Doug and Skeeter dress the monster as Hermione.)

SKEETER:

I think we’re ready, get the wig.

DOUG:

O.K, O.K. C’mon Herman.(the three of them run out the back. Patti sees them leave)

GUY:

(obviously acting) My goodness, a crazed monster. Thank goodness I alerted Mr. Bluff’s agents in time to protect the citizens of Bluffington.

AGENTS:

Coming though, coming through. (heard over there radio) Approach with caution. Approach with caution. (agent #1 takes the costume off of the robot, the robot is broken up into pieces)

ROBOCRUSHER:

Roger, Roger. Somebody take this-

AGENT #1

Take him (they shoot the robot even more and it falls on the ground holding something, the robot falls). What is it?

AGENT:

(grabs it and spreads it out) Looks like clean underwear sir. (agent #1 grumbles)

(at the back entrance, Skeeter, Doug and Herman run towards the dock)

SKEETER:

Here you go Herman, it’s clean water. Go, go!

DOUG:

This is it Herman, you have to go. Now, hurry, before they get here. (Doug takes off Herman’s disguise)

SKEETER:

Home. This is your new home. (Herman grabs Doug and Skeeter and hugs them)

DOUG:

Not now, Herman. Not now. (the agent’s spotlight flashes on them)

AGENT #1

There it is. You three, freeze. (agents appear from the other side)

SKEETER:

GO! (Herman dives into the water)

DOUG:

Alright! Go Herman! Go! (Mr. Bluff runs through the agents)

BILL:

Where is it?

SKEETER:

The monster’s in the lake Mr. Bluff, 10 miles long and 5 miles wide. You’re welcome to start looking.

BILL:

You! Well you two must be pretty smart. Well we’ll see how smart you are when I get through with you. Because from now on, I will dedicate every waking hour to making the rest of your days, a living, writhing, pain-wracked nightmare.

BEEBE:

Daddy, knock it off.

BILL:

But sugar-pie. I was just trying-

BEEBE:

Doug and Skeeter are my friends, such as they are, if you have something to tell them, please discuss it with me.

BILL:

But Beebekins, honey I-

TIPPY:

Bill, I think you should discuss your pollution problems, with me.

BILL:

Mayor Dink! Oh yes of course, certainly, certainly.

TIPPY:

Meanwhile, it’s cold out here, shouldn’t you kids be inside dancing? (spotlight shuts off and Bill goes away following Beebe. Doug picks up Herman’s disguise and sees Patti on the shore, Doug runs up to her)

DOUG:

Patti, I’ve been trying to call you.

PATTI:

Looks like you were pretty busy.

DOUG:

This? (holding Herman’s dress) Oh, this is what we disguised the monster in.

PATTI:

Not that again.

DOUG:

But it’s true. See, he was- he was like a friend to us. He was so great, I wanted to tell you more than anybody but I couldn’t I didn’t want to put you in danger or get him into trouble because- (Patti gasps) Patti? Are you O.K. Patti? (Doug turns around) Herman! What are you-?

PATTI:

Mon- mon-

HERMAN:

Herman.

(scene changes to Doug, Skeeter, and Herman at the tip of the dock and Guy, Patty and Beebe at the beginning)

SKEETER:

I’m glad you came back man. I forgot, I brought you something. (he takes out Moby Dick) Remember this? Herman Melville’s works? It’s not only a momento, it’s tasty snack in case you get hungry (Herman shakes his head). No, it’s good, I tried it you were right, mmmm yummy. (Herman gets a sad face)

DOUG:

What is it Herman? Is something the matter? (he pulls out a flower and hands it to Doug) Did- did you pick this for me? (Herman shakes his head each time) Is it for Skeeter? Patti?

HERMAN:

Porkchop.

(Porkchop then comes running out of the woods barking, he runs up on the dock and jumps into Herman’s arms giving him a hug. Herman returns the hug)

SKEETER:

I think I got something in my eye.

(We see Patti reading the news article that Doug had)

GUY:

(gasps) Who gave you that?

PATTI:

Humph! How could you?

GUY Oh please, all this fuss over a big stinky lizard. I may throw up, we’re outta here, you comin' or what? (he grabs Patti’s arm)

PATTI:

Guy.

GUY:

What?

PATTI:

You’re outta here (she pushes Guy the dock into shallow water, Beebe and Patti walk up to Skeeter, Doug and Herman).

SKEETER:

Goodbye Herman. I hope you like your new home. I’ll (almost crying he hugs Herman) miss you.

(Herman goes to jump into the water)

DOUG:

Wait! I’ll miss you too man (they hug).

(Herman jumps in the water, everyone says “See ‘ya”. The scene changes to show Doug, Patti, Beebe and Skeeter sitting at the edge of the dock)

PATTI:

I can’t believe I let Guy fool me like that. Sorry I didn’t trust you Doug.

DOUG:

Well none of it would have ever happened if I wasn’t trying so hard to impress you.

PATTI:

What Doug?

DOUG:

Uh..(music is heard from inside)

BEEBE:

Sounds like the dance has started up again.

PATTI:

What were you going to say Doug?

DOUG:

Well I-

ROGER:

Hey! Psst, Funnie. You hoo! (Roger is calling Doug towards the forest)

DOUG:

Just a second. (grumbles) Every time I get a chance…

ROGER I just wanted to (clears throat) thank you and the guys for getting rid of my uh, robot problem.

DOUG:

That’s O.K., no problem Roger.

ROGER:

Thanks man, you’re a-

ROBOCRUSHER:

(interrupts, she’s in pieces dragging herself along the ground holding the jacket) There you are, oh you forgot your jacket. (Roger screams like a girl and runs away) Roger, Roger, Roger…(Doug goes back to the dock with Patti)

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