Dreamcatcher

Carl's Jr. Has this $6 burger,

which really only costs $3.95...

...so you think

you'sre getting some deal...

...but the truth is, it may be

the best franchise burger out there.

I went there yesterday

and ordered three.

By golly, those suckers

almost filled me up.

When I got home,

I still had to have a box of Eggos...

...but that doesn'st take away

from Carl's achievement.

I mean, here's a guy who's got

to go through life as Carl Junior, right?

Like he can never get out of the shadow

of his dad, the original Carl, I guess.

Do you think this eating has to do

with thinking you killed your mother?

That you'sre eating yourself

to death as punishment?

- You do think you killed her, right?

- I never said that.

She called out to you

from that big, fancy oak bed.

- She said she was having chest pain.

- I never told you any of that!

- How could you know this?

- She begged you to dial 911.

But she was always calling out

for you, wasn'st she, Barry?

You weren'st there. How could

you know what happened? How?

Doesn'st matter. What matters is,

you'sve got to stop blaming yourself.

If you don'st, you'sll eat yourself

into an early grave for no reason.

You'sre looking in my head!

Stop it!

- Don'st look in there.

- You don'st have to do it, Barry.

Leave me alone!

It wasn'st your fault.

Jonesy?

Hey, how are you doing, Henry?

What's that you say?

Are you going deaf?

How are you doing?

You know. SSDD.

Well, yeah, of course.

Hey, I was thinking if you were free

this weekend we might go see Duddits.

Yeah, absolutely.

He's been on my mind a lot too.

It's been a long time.

It's open!

I gotta go. I got a thing here.

I'sll see you Saturday.

Yeah, right.

See you Saturday.

So, Mr. Defuniak...

...do you know we'sre both

escapees from Maine?

You'sre from Pittsfield.

Know what happens to scholarship

students caught cheating on exams?

You had the flu that day, didn'st you,

David? You didn'st take the exam?

You missed the test. And since you were

ill, why not write me an essay instead?

3000 words on the short-term results

of the Norman Conquest.

- Go get started.

- Yes, sir.

Better to be from Pittsfield

than go back to it.

Thank you, sir.

How did you know?

You weren'st even there that day.

Sometimes I just know.

Hello.

This probably won'st work.

Never start like that with a car salesman.

We love challenges. Pete Moore.

In one hour I'sm showing a house in

Fryeburg. It's a big commission.

And I just lost my damn car keys.

Could you possibly make me duplicates?

- That takes at least a day.

- Oh, boy, I just knew it!

Easy, Trish. Maybe I can help.

I'sm always good at finding things.

- Did I say my name? I don'st remember...

- I guessed.

Now, let's find those keys.

- Hey, Rachel.

- Hey, Pete.

- I looked again. I couldn'st find them.

- Okay. I need your help.

You had the coffee in your hand,

bought aspirin...

...went to your car,

realized the keys were gone.

- That everything?

- Yes.

Look. This is gonna seem weird, but

it's just a thing I do to help me think.

You bought a candy bar

before the aspirin.

Mars bar.

Yours, right?

One more question. If I find your keys,

will you let me buy you dinner?

West Wharf? 6:
30?

Best fried clams in the state?

It's right on your way back.

Sure. Okay.

- That'sd be nice.

- All right.

So you got here.

You opened your purse.

Coffee, candy and aspirin,

you'sre juggling it all around.

And that's when...

...you dropped your keys.

It's just luck, is all.

Thank you.

- West Wharf, right? Half past six?

- You got it.

Another fuckarow.

- Jones.

- How are you doing?

- Hey, Beaver. Same sh*t, different day.

- Same sh*t, different day.

- Wanna talk?

- No, you'sre trying to get home.

- What's up?

- Really, I got nothing. Go home.

- Wait, Jonesy?

- Yeah, Beav?

- You be careful.

- Be careful of what?

Wish I knew.

What did you say?

I didn'st say anything.

Right. Sorry.

- Somebody call an ambulance!

- It won'st do any good.

I looked away for one second.

Then I heard a thump. What happened?

Oh, my God!

Professor Jones!

I just saw him.

He can'st die!

Clear!

No good. Flatline.

Hit it again!

Clear!

- What do you think?

- I think it's no good. I think he's gone.

Watch out for Ister Gay.

Jonesy, don'st try to lift that stuff.

- Just go up to the cabin. I'sll get that.

- Here, here, look. Big jacket.

- Beaver, I'sm going in!

- All right, I'sll see you in a second!

Watch the beer.

- Got blown last night.

- Good for you.

- First time?

- Bite my bag.

Met some lady at bingo, went back

to her place, turned into a nice fuckaree.

- As opposed to a fuckarow.

- Obviously.

Though I'sve had perfectly good fuckarees

turn into fuckarows in a flash.

- Try Viagra.

- Viagra?

I'sm practically

at full salute all day.

I'sm... What do you call it?

Privatic?

Prag... Prasmatic?

Henry will know.

- You'sre thinking of fourth grade.

- You'sre having wood problems?

- You haven'st tried it, have you?

- Hell, no!

Drop that little blue bomb, you'sre hard

as a Louisville Slugger for 12 hours.

Twelve hours?

I'sm talking Yastrzemski.

You don'st have to need it to love it.

Bingo? Did you say bingo,

like the game in church basements?

- There's trim there.

- Beaver!

I thought my deal was pathetic.

- You just watch. That's your job.

- I'sm fine.

H, you been thinking

about Duddits more than usual?

Remember we were gonna

go see him that weekend?

- I remember.

- Then I got hit.

I gotta tell you something weird.

The night I got hit, I was standing there

and across the street, I saw Duddits.

Just like he was that day

we first saw him back in Derry.

He was calling out for help

and everyone was ignoring him.

Then he looked over at me.

He looked directly at me.

And he motioned for me

to come to him.

You believe I saw him, don'st you?

Yes, sir, I do.

Duddits loves me, I know that.

He loves us all.

He would die before

he'sd ever hurt us.

So why was he calling me

into the street to get hit?

Maybe there's more to the story

we don'st get yet.

- You don'st know sh*t.

- Name it!

I'sll name it after we come up

with a small wager.

- 50 bucks.

- What's the subject?

In the movies, when people

wake up together...

...they immediately start kissing

and going at it.

But they never get up first, take a leak

and brush their goddamn teeth.

Which is pretty much necessary

when you wake up.

What's it called when

you got a constant woody?

- You mean priapism.

- See? I'sm practically priasmic.

Priapismic.

- Whatever! It's hard.

- That's what you'sre betting on?

I can name the one movie where they

acknowledge the scuzzy facts of life.

- I'sll give you a quarter.

- A quarter from you. 50 bucks from you.

- Promised Land.

- Promised Land? Never heard of it.

Meg Ryan and what's his name?

Reefer Sutherland.

- Kiefer.

- From, I don'st know,1988 or something?

So Meg Ryan wakes up in the morning

and says, "Where's the cat?"

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