Dude, Where's My Car?

The following story is based on actual events...

DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?

What's Up?

Animal Planet

Man, I just had the craziest dream.

About what?

I don't remember.

Morning guys.

Morning Gene.

What did we do last night?

I don't know.

Wait, didn't the twins have a party?

Yeah! That's it. Twins had a party!

Right!

Were we there?

I'm assuming we were. What kind of|boyfriends would we be if we weren't.

Any messages?

No.

See you tomorrow Gene.

Shibby.

How do you know Gene?

Oh, I thought he was your friend.

No, no, I don't know him.

I'm starving.

It's... pudding.

I always wondered what a fridge|full of pudding would look like.

Is it possible that we got|so wasted last night,

that we bought a lifetime supply of|pudding and then totally forgot about it?

I'd say it's entirely possible.

Jesse and Chester are shibby at the moment.|Please leave your shibby at the beep. Shibby.

- What happened to you guys last night?

- You showed with the bunch of people, pizzas and a cake...

...and now our house is trashed.

- You guys are sucky boyfriends.|You're always disappointing us.

- And now you're probably just sitting|there on the couch in your underwear...

...playing stupid thumbwars...

...wearing your ridiculous army helmets...

...and if you are you've|probably forgotten our anniversary...

...which is TODAY!

That means you don't get the special|treats we had in store for you.

We just wanted to call and thank|you guys for trashing our house.

BYE!

Twins are pissed dude.

Good thing we already bought them gifts.

So..., where are the gifts?

- They must be in your car.|- Right! They're in the car. OK.

So we'll just go and take the gifts|over to twins house and get our special treats.

Hey! What do you think they mean by special treats?

We've been going out with the twins for year now.

And we still haven't had sex.

Special treats is code for sex.

Of course!

Special treats!

Sex!

Open up you two shackals!

It's Mr. Pizzacoli

You guys left work last night with 30 pizzas that|didn't get delivered and I want some answers!

Open up this damn door!

It's open!

Moron!

Hey. Mr. Pizzacoli! Hey, how are you doing?

Thirty pizzas didn't get delivered last night.

If I ever found out you were taking my|pizzas home for your own eating pleasure...

...I will crush you like a doodlebug!

Look! It's an elephant.

What?

Just a mailman.

You two are the most|irresponsible, not to mention...

...disappointing employees ever to work...

...at Mr. Pizzacoli Pronto Pizza Deliveries.

Well, a trained dolphin|could do a better job than you.

Well, sure but then the pizzas would get all wet.

Look! A unicorn!

A unicorn?

Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse. Weird.

I know you've been embezzling|my pizza. And I will get you eventually.

And when I do I swear to God...

you will never deliver pizzas in this town again.

Close one.

Yeah.

So, we'll go to the twins house,|we'll give them their anniversary gifts...

...and then we'll apologise for|trashing their house and then....

...we get our special treats.

Dude, where's my car?

Where's your car dude?

Dude, where's my car?

Where's your car dude?

Dude, where's my car?

Where's your car dude?

Did I drive here last night?

Yeah, I think so.

Did we?

I'm not sure.

Dude, where's your car?

Dude, it's not funny, dude, the car is gone.

Yeah.

Dude, where's my car?

Shut up dude!

OK. Look. You're right. I know we need to do.

We need to get back into state of|mind that we were last night.

That way we can retrace our steps.

Yeah.

Sense memory simulated perception|altered consciences memory retrieval.

Discovery Channel.

Nice.

Nelson's?

Shibby.

- I'm sick of walking dude.|- Me too.

Hey! It's Mrs. Crabbleman. She'll give us a ride.

Hey! Mrs. Crabbleman! Hey!

Hey!

Mrs. Crabbleman.

F***ing stoners.

She must have not recognised you.

Hey! It's the Biglemans. Hey.

Mr. Bigleman!

Hey! Mr. Bigleman!

Maybe we should just walk.

Yeah.

Listen, Nelson the car is gone and we|need to do this little sense memory thing...

...so we can get back into state of|mind that we were in last night

Deep in your consciousness you must look.

Concentrate on the knowledge inside you must

Aha. Your eyes you must close

when you take it to the muuu

Mouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Mouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Concentrating you're not dudes.

Sorry.

Is your dog dead?

Not dead. Come here Jackal. Come here boy.

I don't think he's coming.

Maybe he's death dude.

Death he is not dude.

Come here Jackal. Come here Jackal.

Does he know any other tricks besides not moving?

Guys. Alright. You wanna see trick?

Hey Jackal!

Bite that killer. Here comes the fun.

Good boy Jackal.

Dude, your dog is a stoner.

Can he also bone a beer?

Nah, pretty much all he does is|lie around and smoke his pipe.

Hey Jackal, can I see your pipe?

No! Don't!

Overprotective. It's his pipe.

When other people touch it he does not like.

Sorry Jackal.

Yes. He's sorry

Holy crap.

That's one psycho dog dude.

Yeah, hey you know what we should do now?

Eat?

No. Eat.

Choice excellent my friend. I'll get the keys.

Nelson, let me order

Chinese Foooood. May I help you?

Yeah. I'd like to place an order.

What would you like?

Yeah, I'd like three orders of garlic chicken.

And then?

And then three orders of white rice.

And then?

And then..., you guys want soup?

Sure.

Yeah, Three orders of wantan soup.

And then?

Oh, ah, some fortune cookies too.

And then?

That's it. I think that's about it.

And then?

No. That's it.

And then?

No 'and then'. I..., I..., that's all I want.

And then?

And then, and then, and then I'm,|then nothing else coz I'm done ordering. OK?

And then?

No. No. See, all I want is the three|orders of the garlic chicken|and the three orders of the white rice

And then?

And the soup dude.

Oh, and the wantan soup.

And then?

And the cookies fortune.

And the fortune cookies, yes. So it's|just the, it's the, the chicken...

the rice, the soup and the fortune|cookies and that's it.

And then?

And then you can put it in a brown paper bag|and come put in my hand coz I'm ready to eat.

And then?

I refuse to play your chinese food mind games.

And then?

No, No 'and then'!

And then?

No 'and then'!

And then?

No 'and then'!

And then?

No 'and then'!

And then?

No 'and then'!

And then?

No, no 'and then'!

And then?

You're really starting to piss me off lady!

And then?

And then, I'm gonna come in there...

...and I'm gonna put my foot in|your ass if you say 'and then' again!

And then? And then? And then?|And then? And then?

And then?

Come on Nelson! Just help us find my car!

You know you didn't have to|go a eggrow in that speaker box.

Well I'm not the one that|called the Dalai Lama a fag.

I was just kidding' around.

Yeah, well Nelson didn't appreciate it. OK?

Look! It's Chrisite Bonner.

WOW!

The hottest of the hot.

El fuego of all that is el fuego.

Did she just wave at us?

No way!

She would never wave at us.

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