Dude, Where's My Car? Page #4

We were supposed to meet Jesse|and Chester later but we can not wait.

Well, we don't know where they are.

And frankly we don't care.

Dude, let's call Nelson.

- Yeah.|- See if he's home.

Hello?

Hey Nelson. It's Chester.

Hey Chester! No, it's me Tommy.

Your body Nelson's busy at the moment.

Is bad karma boys.

Hey, why don't you go ahead and tell me|where that continuum transfunctioner is.

Aaaa, no hablo english.

Already your friend's dead unless|I get that continuum transfunctioner.

Jackal! Get your pipe.

My balls!

What was that?

Tommy's got Nelson. He knows|about the continuum transfunctioner.

Those double-crossing sexysexysluts.

I'm so sick of hearing about|this continuum transfunctioner thing.

I tell you what. If one more person asks..

Have you found the|continuum transfunctioner?

Who are you guys?

We are the keepers of|the continuum transfunctioner .

It is all that stands between the|universe and completely violent destruction.

It is a very mysterious and powerful device..

...and it's mystery is|only exceeded by it's power.

Yeah, we know.|And we don't have it.

But the universe?

Screw the universe.

Screw the universe?

Chimpanzees often use sticks as crude tools...

That's one smart primate.

Hey!|What are you guys doing here?

We just wanted to come by and see|how that car trouble thing was going.

Oh! The car. It's in the shop.

Really. Is that that shop where|those beautiful women in black jump suits?

The ones you were hanging out with earlier today?

Well, you see. Jesse thought...

Today's our anniversary, and not only do you|not have gifts|but you guys ditch us for some

- Big breasted bimbos|- Big breasted bimbos

while we were cleaning our house...

About that

...which you completely trashed

- twice|- twice

You guys are sucky boyfriends.

We just wanted to come over and tell|you guys in person that it's over.

- Wilma.|- Thank you Wanda.

They're totally right. We are sucky boyfriends.

Do you even remember|what kind of gifts we got them?

- No|- I bet we got them sucky gifts.

We suck.

Wait a second. I just got a really|bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Maybe you should go sit on the toilet?

No. No. You know what the feeling is?

It's love!

Is that what that is?

Yeah, I'm in love with Wanda|and you're in love with Wilma.

Yeah!

You see. Now that we know|that we've been sucky boyfriends...

...we can change.

We can?

Yeah! And you know what else?

I'll bet you that we did buy|them super cool anniversary gifts.

You know why?

Coz we love them.

And we wrapped them really cool wrapping paper?

Yeah.

I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

We're gonna go down the impound lot and get the car...

...which has the gifts in it...

...and then we're gonna go over to the twins house|and beg for them to take us back!

Yeah!

Let's do it!

Oh, no, hold on.

I gotta take a crap.

Told you.

- I know.|- I know your body.

Boys, I got some good news for you.

We just got your car in this morning.

Alright!

But the bad news is: Not only did officer|Boyer send your car to the impound...

...he tagged it for auction and|it was sold this afternoon.

Rick...

Do you know who bought the car?

I happen to have the address right here.

Alright.

But it'd be against regulation|457XY2D665 to give it to you.

Come on...

Reaching on to this side of the counter is not allowed.

The last guy who tried it|ended up with three broken fingers.

Reach it.

You can reach it.

No. I got one of these carpal|tunnels. What if I further injure myself.

I have to do everything.

Well. I'm a better lookout.|My vision's better. You know that.

That's it. That's it.

Got it!

OK. OK.

What are you doing?

I'm stuck.

Come on.

Don't...

Dude, here she comes.

I got it. I got it.

We'll.... We'll spit on it.

You know. Lubrication.

That's grouse dude.

Here she comes. SPIT! SPIT!

Good news guys. I talked to my supervisor and|he said I can give you the address after all.

That's great.

But the bad news is

I'm gonna have to confiscate your pinky

Alright. Next stop: find my car.

Hey. Check it out.

Totally gaynotic dudes at 3 o'clock.

Wait. I got an idea.

Now we just go over there and ask|for the continuum transfunctioner?

Yeah. It's that easy.

Thank you both. Very much.

Hey. Don't mention it.

That's for the galaxy dudes.

Time to get your car dude.

Those creepy space nerds are back dude.

Dude, you're not worried about them.

They're totally harmless.

Now, may I have the continuum transfunctioner?

Not quite yet.

Would you consider giving it to|me while I continue to give you pleasure?

OK.

Wake up dude.

More pleasure...

What?

Nothing.

Get dressed. We're going to the big house.

Nice outfits.

They're not outfits.|They're interstellar jump-suits.

Hey. Nice interstellar jump-suits.

Yeah.

Wow! Nice place.

Is this where Zoltan...

Is this where Zoltan hangs out?

No. This is his parent's house.

We're going over there.

A barn? Is it red?

No.

Then it's not a barn.

This is creepy.

It's like a country music video.

Alright. That's far enough.

You there.

You over there.

No messing around.

Ok dude. Remember which one it is?

- Here. Let me.|- I'll do it.

It's that one.

Grab the...

Keys...

Grab the f***ing ex... and....|those studs in the head.

You want the fire extinguisher?

- Enough.|- No, not that one.

Cool.

What are you? Death?

Hey. You don't have to be mean. OK?

How are we gonna get out of here?

Your attention please. Our|imperial commander Zoltan...

...requests your presence at the office ...

for level seven meeting? Ah..., over.

It is now my great pleasure to|present to you our wise and powerful leader

- Zoltan!|- Zoltan!

- Zoltan.

The time has come you guys.

We are finally going to fulfil our|prophecy of outer space travel.

Zoltan!

They laughed at us when we said that aliens existed and|they mothed us when we started wearing...

...bubble wrap jump suits.|But who's laughing now?

I'll tell you who's laughing now. We are!

Zoltan.

Soon we will leave this lame planet and

fly through outer space|with cool aliens who like us.

It is going to be awesome!

That's them.

They knocked us out and stole our spacesuits.

No we didn't

Yeah you did!

No we didn't

Yes you did!

No we didn't.

Yes you did.

Hey, who you're gonna believe?|Us or them?

So you're Jesse and Chester.

I've been looking forward|to meeting you guys, although...

I'm sorry it had to be like this.

Wanda!

Wilma!

Normally we would never resort violence but|we are dealing with continuum transfunctioner afterall.

If you don't deliver it to us...

...your girlfriends are history.

Don't worry girls. We'll save you.

Yeah. You can depend on us.

Enough.

Go now and bring us the|continuum transfunctioner.

And be quiet on your way out,|my parents are taking a nap.

And then you can tell us where|the continuum transfunctioner is.

And then?

And then we'd be able to go and get it.

And then?

Can I get an order of shrimp fried rice?

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