Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off Page #9

straighten someone out?

I don't think so.

Oh, this is crazy.

This is just crazy.

- Sharon.

- What?

I'm sorry.

If... do you...

Is it going to be weird

if I ask you

for the pink diamond?

Is that un... it's uncomf...

It is uncomfortable.

I'm going to go over here

for a second.

You don't go anywhere.

That... it is weird, isn't it?

I'll... later,

I should get it later.

All right no,

it's not weird at all. Here.

And in fact, why don't you

get it cleaned for me

because it's covered in

chocolate pudding, okay?

I'll... I'll keep it.

I, um, I have a pie to make.

I have a million dollars to win,

so I've got to go.

Come on, let's just go.

I'm rooting for you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is the moment

we've all been waiting for.

It's time to announce

the seven finalists.

Number one category,

in bright and early

breakfast treats,

the winner is hot and tasty

meltameeta stuffed biscuits,

ladybug Briggs,

Atlanta, Georgia.

Hell yes!

Circle into the ring of fire,

ladybug!

- Mama, you got this!

- There she comes.

In the first category,

the luscious pies and cakes,

the winner is,

easy one cupboard

death by chocolate pie,

Sharon Solfest,

blue earth, Minnesota.

Sharon, step into

the ring of fire.

Sharon,

you're the best, I love you!

There you go, Sharon.

In... congratulations, there.

- Whoa! -In scrumptious salads and

side dishes, the winner is...

Whoa! What are you doing?

Let me help you.

There's no way to get in there.

I think there's a little confusion as

to how to get into the ring of fire,

and I think that causes

some to be embarrassed.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

We talked this morning

about this.

There has to be a way

to get into the ring of fire.

We still haven't found out a

way to get into that fire...

Ring of fire.

I know I said it's a ring.

Well, get somebody down here.

Off you go, okay?

And in lunchable baked delights,

the winner is chocolate

coco-nutty cream bars,

Del Crawford, Tama, Iowa. Del!

You did it.

- You did it. He's a finalist.

Jennifer Watson...

Step into that ring of fire,

Jennifer!

The last finalist is the

very veggie vegetables,

is Pauline's corn,

Pauline Solfest,

blue earth, Minnesota.

This is really exciting, and

now it's a real blood match.

Ladies and gentlemen, two sisters competing

for the one million dollar prize.

Congratulations

to all the winners.

Good job, Del!

I bet your mama's proud.

She's dead, but my dad

is probably proud.

Very proud.

I'm sorry about your mother.

We have our contestants here,

just waiting to begin.

Um, our final leg of

the one million dollar

Van Ruckle farms cook-off,

and I think any second now,

the contestants

are about to begin.

Grand prize finalists

in the ring of fire,

start your ovens.

- Has anybody approached you?

- For what?

To win the million dollars,

like split it with you,

- anything like that?

- Oh.

I mean, not to put too fine

a point on it.

No, but I wonder,

is it too late for me

-to approach somebody?

Do you feel sorry for anybody?

Is there somebody

you would vote for

because you feel sorry for them?

In the black leather outfit

is weeping into

a large mixing bowl.

Sharon.

Sharon. Sharon?

Sharon, I love you.

I'm sorry we weren't talking.

Come on. Come on.

- You're my best friend.

- You're my best friend too.

Come on. Come on.

You are my shero.

You're everything I want...

Honey, I'm going to do what

they do on the TV programs.

You know, where they put

the people out on the island

or you have to get voted off.

I'm going to do what they call

stay under the radar.

Well, you know,

her boyfriend, he's a real...

He's different, okay?

He's a real different guy.

Listen to me.

I'm going to grab your arm

real strong like,

and I'm going to say

listen here!

You've got cooking to do.

You ain't got no time

to be worrying about

what your man does, say want to

go mess around with another man.

You've got to

pull this thing together here.

Don't let no man pull you down.

- Okay.

- You understand what I'm...

- You're totally right.

- Stop crying and get to baking.

Sharon, she's right.

Get to baking.

Compartmentalize.

Bake!

Come on, go.

No, I'm doing it.

I'm doing it just like you said.

Yeah, because I can do

what I want.

That's right,

with whatever you...

What are you looking at?

You want to

mind your own business?

Look, your recipe

isn't the Bible, okay?

No, it's not your business.

No, I did that.

Hi.

Look, if it doesn't win,

I'm going to

burn your house down.

My grandfather.

You better watch your PS and QS.

Something smells like poop

in this ring of fire.

And I'm standing

right next to it, okay?

Uh...

You're leaking.

- What?

- You've got fluid coming out.

- You peeing in the ring of fire?

- I'm not peeing in the ring of fire

and I'm not leaking, idiot.

- What is it then? It's like...

- It's just a little spillage

of some special ingredients

that I use.

Coming out of your hoo-ha?

When are you going to

tell someone

that you're in labor?

That was a leg cramp.

Come over here.

Breathe. Breathe through it.

How are things?

Good.

You're kind of a laconic guy,

aren't you?

You're one of...

You're the only man in here.

How's it feel?

They didn't tell me

I'd be the only man.

Do me a favor. Please,

please don't tell anybody.

- Pauline, I love you.

- I love you.

The smoke in the ring of fire

is just not working for me.

I'm sorry, I'm not cooking

hickory chicken here.

No, I'm not bruising

the coconut.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is the final countdown.

Ten, nine,

eight, seven, six...

Five, four, three,

two, one.

Time is up! Oven's off!

Thank you very much,

ladies and gentleman.

It's over and I will be

bringing you live,

the million-dollar winner

- as soon as new know about it.

- Final judging!

How are you feeling?

Good.

I'm feeling very, very good.

There goes the hot and tasty

meltameeta stuffed biscuits

and how are you feeling,

ladybug?

It's all up to god now.

To the point.

That's what it is.

And stuffed biscuits

and by ladybug Briggs,

Atlanta, Georgia. It is...

Ladybug Briggs,

she has a gold tooth.

This is the dish that's causing

a lot of buzz here.

Any mention of a nail?

Let me ask ladybug Briggs.

Oh, that's one of her nails.

Try to get one. Maybe there's a

false eyelash in there somewhere.

I don't know, maybe someone's purse.

Who knows.

I've been very moved

by these women

and that one crazy guy

who came here

and cooked their hearts

and souls out

- with these peculiar, peculiar dishes.

- Well...

But we have to

absolutely vote for...

Choose a winner.

That tastes the best.

- That does not taste the best.

- To me it tastes great.

Well, you know,

taste is subjective.

It sounds like you're kind of

pushing us towards this.

- No.

- For nefarious reasons.

- I think it's drawing us toward it.

- Nefarious.

And apparently somebody

really likes it.

- Morty likes it.

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