Eden Lake

Aagh!

Aagh!

Help me!

Can you play at peek-a-boo?

I can play at peek-a-boo!

Can you see me? Yes, I can.

Can you see me? Yes, I can.

Peek-a-peek-a-peek-a-peek-a-boo!

Well done. That's very good. Now, ssh!

Still.

And everyone up.

And that's the end of the week.

Well done.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Sorry.

Kat's boyfriend is taking her to Paris

for the weekend

and mine is taking me

to a disused quarry!

It's a flooded quarry. It's lovely.

It's the last chance to see it

before the developers build over it.

'Speed camera ahead.'

- Good on you, Kylie.

- You're such a boy!

And I can mate it up to my mobile phone.

Pretty sexy, huh?

Grrr!

Stop it, I'm driving.

What's that?

The guy's wife had a bad back.

Kinky, huh?

Actually, it's quite nice.

Do you want me to pull over?

'Good afternoon.

You've been talking about fining parents

'who fail to control

their children's behaviour.

'When was the policy introduced? '

'The Respect Agenda was a big issue

in the last election.

'Tony Blair wanted to bring back a sense

of respect in schools and communities.'

'So increase the amount of support for

parents, including parenting contracts,

'to get parents to attend

parenting classes.'

'It's a case of

"It's your problem, you sort it."

'It's hard to do without the school

behind you.

'I have an 8-year-old struggling too.'

'This is a tiny minority and children

need to be in school in order to learn.

'However, the early intervention

isn't as quick to... '

'It's hard to turn it over, being fined.

Kids are not learning anything by that.

'They know we're going to pay it.

They find it hilarious.

'Reading about themselves

in the papers... '

It's up here somewhere.

'At the traffic lights, turn left.'

Jesus!

Here it is. Beer, bed and breakfast.

Perfect.

No way!

Excuse me?

Great bar presence!

Ey up, me duck?

Two pints of lager, please.

Give it back, give it back, give it back!

A bit past their bedtime, isn't it?

Yeah, poor things must be exhausted.

That child needs a good...

I bloody told you!

Another pint of Wife-Beater?

Yep.

- Call yourself a mother?

- You what?

You want beef, eh? You want beef?

You f***ing d*ckhead!

You want beef?

- Go and tell them to shut up.

- You tell them.

What are you? A man or a mouse?

Look, it was all right

the last time I was here.

Pissed up with your dive buddies?

I promise you,

the quarry's f***ing stunning.

The quarry's stunning.

No "f***ing".

Please, Miss?

'At your first opportunity, turn left.'

Eden Lake, my arse! Slapton Quarry!

"Gated community"?

Who are they so afraid of?

Everyone.

This is getting more and more romantic.

You've brought me to a building site!

Look, will you just trust me?

This used to be a public park.

Look at this.

Here we go.

'At your first opportunity, turn around.'

Oh, ye of little faith!

What do you think?

It's beautiful.

I can see it.

- Hello.

- Hey!

- Have you cycled all the way here?

- And no Kylie!

What have you got there? A caterpillar?

My mum says

I shouldn't talk to strangers.

Your mum's quite right.

We'll leave you to it.

Come on.

Yes, you see,

it is missing 50 executive homes.

I love it.

Is that new?

Yeah. Do you like it?

I like the bottom.

I'm not so sure about the top, though.

Oi!

- What the f*** are you doing here?

- Clear off!

- What the f***'s all this sh*t?

- F***ing little prick.

Hey, that's the little boy we saw.

Since when did you support England?

Little hoods.

Here, Mark, watch this.

Oh, Steve...

It's just boys being boys.

As long as they leave us alone.

Run for it, run!

- Get the f*** out of here!

- Go on, have him.

Jesus!

Bonnie, come!

Oh, my God.

Good girl, good girl, good girl.

Come on then.

Lovely.

Fancy a dip before it craps in the water?

No, you go. I'll keep an eye on the stuff.

Probably not a bad idea.

Good girl.

Oh, man!

Come on, Bonnie! Bonnie!

Bonnie, come here, girl!

Come here! Come here!

Good girl, Bonnie.

Ow!

Hey, guys. Can you do us a favour

and turn the music down?

- Can't hear you, mate.

- Turn your sounds down.

Can't hear you, mate.

- What are you doing?

- And watch your dog.

- He's scaring my girlfriend.

- She.

- Hmm?

- B*tch. She's a b*tch.

Don't be d*cks. This is a big beach.

There's room for all of us.

Who are you calling a dick?

And what are you looking at? My tits?

F***ing jog on! Prick.

D*ckhead.

Hey, what a prick!

Mug!

Oh!

Why don't we just find another spot?

I won't be bullied by a bunch

of 12-year-olds.

- And let it ruin our afternoon?

- We were here first.

Well, this is relaxing

- What are you doing?

- F*** off!

Why? Why?

Oh, mate, I love bird-watching.

- What's with you, you tit?

- You're the tit!

What are you looking at her for?

I'm not looking at her face,

just her tits.

She's an ugly bint.

Booya-booya-booya!

Yeah, do you want my autograph?

Happy now? Hmm?

Hmm.

Hey, Jenny!

Nearly!

Fancy another brewski?

Yeah, why not?

Steve, what's that?

It's nothing.

There's not much to do after dark.

Nope.

Wanna check out

our exclusive New England home?

- Hmm?

- Sure.

- Do you like it?

- I think it's beautiful.

- Stephen Taylor...

- Hmm?

What's that noise?

It's just the wind.

No, that's not the wind.

Could be a fox.

Or a donkey.

No, listen. Ssh!

You're just imagining it.

- I'll go take a look.

- No, don't go... Go.

Steve?

Hello?

Steve?

Hello?

Steve!

Ugh!

Steve?

Steve, stop messing around!

- Steve!

- Ooh ah ha ha ha!

- That was horrible.

- I'm sorry.

- Get off!

- I'm really sorry.

- Ow! You're freezing!

- Then warm me up.

You're a big, crude, pikey oaf!

I love you. Love you.

Eugh!

I am absolutely starving.

- I could eat a horse.

- So move to France.

F***!

Sh*t!

- What's happened?

- Little f***ers!

- How's your tyre, mate?

- F***ing git!

Little f***ers!

No, wait, Steve!

- Watch it!

- Sh*t!

You should've got a smaller body,

f***ing dollar boy!

- Breakfast?

- F***!

Right, what would you like?

The full English

with white toast and coffee.

- And for you?

- I'll get the same.

Hey, you wouldn't have seen a bunch

of kids tooling around on BMXs?

Certainly have. Been terrorising you?

- Well, hassling us.

- Little terrors.

I wouldn't worry too much,

a big boy like you.

They punctured my back tyre.

I thought parents might want to know.

Not my kids.

- No, I didn't mean they were your kids.

- Not mine.

Never mind.

I don't want any trouble.

Making friends?

I think she likes me.

What the?

No, Steve, it's not worth it.

If everyone said that, where would we be?

I'll be back in a minute.

Hello?

Anyone home?

Hello?

- Come on, you're blocking my drive!

- OK.

- Come on!

- All right!

Sorry!

Stupid b*tch!

Sh*t!

Brett! Is that you?

Get down here now!

Can't run away, little bunny.

Yeah, that's right,

you can't because you're in a box.

Brett!

Brett, don't make me come up there!

Sh*t!

Brett!

The hutch should be destroyed. Burn it.

Brett!

Let's go!

I can feel that schoolteacher look.

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