Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas

( Banjo and Piano )

( "The Bathing Suit

that Grandma Otter Wore" )

Together:

LONG, LONG AGO

THERE LIVED A LADY

SIMPLE BUT ELEGAN AS ANY ON THE SHORE.

SHE WAS KNOWN FOR

HER GENEROUS SILHOUETTE,

Together:

AND YET...

SHE WAS KNOWN:

EVEN MORE FOR...

THE BATHING SUIT SHE WORE.

EVEN SO IT WAS HER BATHING

SUIT THAT MADE HER FAMOUS,

IT WAS ALMOST HEAVEN-SENT.

MANY TIMES WHEN IT WAS

DRYING ON THE LINE

A TOURIST WOULD MISTAKE I FOR A CIRCUS TENT...

OH, HI, EMMET.

I'M FISHING!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DELIVERING LAUNDRY

AND GOIN' TO WATERVILLE!

SEE YA, WENDELL!

Together:

NOW SHE HAS GONE.

NOW SHE HAS LEFT US.

LEFT WITH:

SWEET MEMORIES:

AND LEFT WITH:

SOMETHING MORE;

WE'VE MADE CURTAINS

AND HANDKERCHIEFS

AND CLOTHING:

FOR THE...

Together:

POOR...

FROM THE ONE BATHING SUI THAT YOUR GRANDMA OTTER WORE.

FROM THAT ONE BATHING SUI THAT YOUR GRANDMA OTTER WORE.

SAY, MA, THAT SOUNDED

PRETTY NICE.

BETTER LEAN INTO

THAT STARBOARD OAR.

THERE'S OLD GRETCHEN FOX

ON HER DOCK,

WAITIN' FOR HER LAUNDRY.

WHEW-HOO, SHE LOOKS

FRIENDLY AS A POLECAT TODAY.

WELL, IT'S ABOUTTIME

YOU GOT HERE.

SAME TIME:

WEALWAYSGET HERE.

YES, YOU'RE LATE

EVERY WEEK.

AND LAST WEEK WHEN I

OPENED THE LAUNDRY PARCEL

THERE WAS A SCORCH MARK

ON ONE OF THE SHEETS.

OH!

WELL, MAYBE I CAN

KNOCK OFF A LITTLE BI ON THE PRICE.

I, UH--

YOU CERTAINLY SHALL.

REMIND ME OF THA WHEN I PAY YOU NEXT WEEK.

WELL, I'VE GOT THE BILL

RIGHT HE-HERE.

AND SINCE IT'S

THREE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS,

I'D REALLY

APPRECIATE IT IF---

TA!

WELL, THAT'S

TELLING HER, ALICE.

MORNIN',

WILL POSSUM.

MORNIN'.

I DIDN'T SEE YOU

SITTING THERE.

WELL, THAT'S

OKAY, ALICE.

LISTEN, YOU GOT ANYTHING

TO BARTER WITH TODAY?

OH, GLAD

YOU ASKED.

JUST KNITTED UP:

A FINE PAIR OF WOOL SOCKS.

GREAT! I'VE GO A FEW BIG OL' PUMPKINS.

PUMPKINS, HUH?

I COULD MAKE 'EM INTO PIES

AND SELL 'EM AT A PROFIT.

WELL, THEY'RE IN THE GARDEN

RIGHT OVER HERE.

( Quacking )

CAN YOU MAKE MUCH MONEY

ON THOSE PUMPKIN PIES, MA?

OOH, ABOUT ENOUGH

TO BUY WOOL:

FOR ANOTHER PAIR OF SOCKS,

I GUESS.

GOOD THINKING, MA.

NOW YOU CAN KNIT MORE SOCKS

TO BUY MORE PUMPKINS

TO SELL MORE PUMPKINS

TO BUY MORE WOOL--

( Laughing )

OH, ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

LEAN INTO THOSE OARS

OR WE'LL NEVER

GET TO WATERVILLE.

( Engines Revving )

( Brakes Screech! )

( Crash! )

STOP!

( Brakes Screech! )

HEY, WHADYA

DO THAT FOR,

RIGHT, BOSS?

AAAGGHH!

ME AND CHUCK'S

GOING TO LUNCH,

WE DON'T WANT TO STOP;

RIGHT, CHUCK?

MY NECK!

OH, I'M SORRY,

I'M SORRY.

YEAH, THERE'S

A MUSIC STORE OVER THERE

AND SNAKE NEEDS:

A NEW STRING FOR HIS GUITAR.

MM-HMM.

GET OFF MY SHOULDER.

I-I'M GOING,

I'M GOING...

JEEZ, A FELLA SHOULD BE

GRATEFUL HE'SGOTSHOULDERS...

COME ON, GUYS,

LET'S GO IN THE STORE.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

ME AND CHUCK DON'T WANNA GO

TO NO DUMB MUSIC STORE.

NAW, NAW,

WE DIDN'T THINK SO.

I'D LIKE TO.

( All Agree )

I'LL STAY HERE.

IT'S TOO DRY IN THERE.

HEY, YOU,

YOU YOUNG RAGSCAMPS!

YOU JUST MESSED UP

MY FRUIT STAND.

AWW, SO SORRY!

( Pfft! )

( Splash! )

( Excited Chatter )

RIGHT, CHUCK

SORRY ABOUT THAT...

IS THAT ALL THE ERRANDS

WE HAVE TO DO?

NOPE, BUT IT'S

THE END OF THE MONEY

WE HAVE:

TO DO 'EM WITH.

( Chuckling )

DI:

WAIT NOW, EMMET.

DN'T SAM TURTLE PAY YOU

FOR FIXING HIS STEPS YESTERDAY?

UH, NO...

I WAS THE ONE:

WHO BROKE 'EM.

OH, EMMET,

YOU WITH:

YOUR ODD JOBS,

ME WITH MY SOCKS

AND PUMPKINS...

NO WONDER:

WE'RE SO RICH.

AWW, WE'LL MAKE OUT.

YOU GOTTA:

HAVE FAITH, MA.

OOH, I'VE GO PLENTY OF FAITH.

I SPENT ALL THOSE YEARS

MARRIED TO A SNAKE OIL

SALESMAN, DIDN'T I?

WELL, PASHOULD'VE

GOTTEN RICH ON SNAKE OIL.

BUT, "THERE JUS AREN'T ENOUGH PEOPLE

Together:

"WHO WANT TO OIL A SNAKE!"

( Laughing )

OH, PA USED TO ALWAYS SAY THA WHEN BUSINESS WAS BAD.

YEP, HE SAID I A LOT.

WAIT NOW...

WOULD YA:

LOOKAT THAT.

WHAT?

THAT SWELL GUITAR!

MOTHER-OF-PEARL

INLAYS, TOO!

NOW, MA,THAT'SWHA YOU CAN GET ME FOR CHRISTMAS!

OH, SURE...

AFTER ALL,

IT'S ONLY $40!

SAY, WHAT IS

THAT RACKET?

( Loud Rock Music )

OH, NO,

NO, NO...

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE

WHAT'S HAPPENING

HERE IN MY STORE!

WHO ARE THEY, MA?

BEATS ME.

HOOLIGANS:

IS WHAT THEY ARE.

PROBABLY SOME OF

THOSE RIVERBOTTOM BOYS.

( Crash! )

Store Owner:

NOW SEE WHA YOU'VE DONE?!

I WANT ALL OF YOU

OUT OF HERE AT ONCE!

( Excited Chatter )

HERE YA GO,

IT AIN'T EVEN HURT.

IF THEY DIDN'T WAN THESE THINGS TO ROLL,

THEY SHOULDA:

MADE 'EM SQUARE.

( Laughter )

HEY!

YEAH, CHUCK?

I'M HUNGRY.

HEY, EVERYBODY,

CHUCK'S HUNGRY.

NO, I'M NO HUNGRY...

I'MHUUUNNNGRY!

CHECK, CHUCK!

NOW!

( All Agree )

( Engine Starts & Revs )

OHH, GETTING COLDER

EVERY DAY NOW.

BE WALKING:

THE RIVER SOON.

AND SKATING ON IT.

GOT TO EXPEC COLD WEATHER,

JUST A FEW DAYS:

BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

DON'T TALK ABOU CHRISTMAS ALL THE TIME.

THERE'S NO POINT,

IS THERE?

WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH

FOR REGULAR DAYS.

SORRY.

I REMEMBER THE LAS CHRISTMAS BEFORE PA DIED...

OH, EMMET.

I REMEMBER DECORATING

THE CHRISTMAS BRANCH AND...

PA SANG AND...

YOU PLAYED:

THAT OL' PIANO WE HAD.

I REMEMBER ALL RIGHT.

SELLING THAT OLD PIANO

WAS ONE OF THE SADDEST THINGS

I EVER HAD TO DO.

SEEMS LIKE WE'VE SOLD

JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING

LAST COUPLE OF YEARS.

ABOUT ALL I'VE GOT LEFT IS

A SENSE OF HUMOR AND A WASHTUB.

WELL, AT LEAST THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

HEAD FULL OF GOOD THOUGHTS,

BELLY FULL OF GRUB,

MONEY IN YOUR POCKET,

WHEN THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

SWEET AS HONEYSUCKLE

ON THE VINE, MA.

Together:

YOUR NAILS WON'T BREAK

AND YOUR TOES WON'T STUB,

YOU NEVER GET A FEVER

WHEN THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

IF YOU LOOK:

TO THE GOOD SIDE,

FALLING DOWN'S A FREE RIDE

SLIPPING AND A-SLIDING

IN THE MUD.

IF YOUR BACK IS HURTIN'

I CAN SAY FOR CERTAIN

I'LL BE THERE TO TREAT YOU

TO A SOOTHING BACK RUB.

Emmet:

WHEN THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

LUNCH WITH:

THE UPPER CRUST,

DINNER AT THE CLUB,

HIGH ON THE HOG:

WHEN THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

WATERMELON GARDEN,

BERRIES ON THE SHRUB,

COOKIES IN THE KITCHEN

WHEN THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

HI, EMMET.

LOOK WHAT I CAUGHT!

( Chuckling )

GOOD CATCH, WENDELL!

YEAH, THEY'RE

REALLY BITING TODAY!

( Splash! )

I'LL BE THERE TO TREAT YOU

TO A SOOTHING BACK RUB.

WHEN THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

THERE GO TWO OF THE NICEST FOLK

ON THE RIVER.

IF YOU LOOK:

TO THE GOOD SIDE,

FALLING DOWN'S A FREE RIDE

SLIPPING AND A-SLIDING

IN THE MUD.

THOUGH IT TWISTS

AND CONTORTS YOU,

THAT BARREL SUPPORTS YOU.

YOU CAN FEED:

AND CLOTHE YOURSELF

WITH A RUB-A-DUB-DUB

WHEN THERE AIN' NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB.

AIN'T NO HOLE

IN THE WASHTUB.

AIN'T NO HOLE

IN THE WASHTUB.

( Music )

( Music Continues )

PHEW! BOY,

IT'S COLD THIS MORNING.

WOW! RIVER'S FROZEN UP SOLID.

BOY, MA WILL BE NEEDING

A MESS OF WOOD TODAY.

HI, EMMET!

EMMET!

MORNING, WENDELL.

GUESS WHAT?

OLD LADY POSSUM WILL GIVE ME 50

IF I MEND HER FENCE.

50?!

GOOD DEAL.

YEAH, BUT...

I DON'T HAVE ANY TOOLS.

OH...

I'VE

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