Employees' Entrance Page #3

my cousin commodore Monroe

Addressed to all the

executives of the store.

I said I wanted some bright ideas.

Our biggest loss is in

the men's department,

Where we're doing 1/3 the

business we did a year ago.

Higgins, what ideas have you

for your men's department?

Ideas?

Didn't you ever hear of them?

Well, uh, I don't know as

there's very much to be said.

There's a depression,

And everybody's affected, everything.

Why, I should say the thing to do

would be to retrench, economize.

I have a letter from the bankers

interested in this business.

They say the same thing

- Retrench, economize.

In other words, sit down and do nothing.

What do we need you for, then, Higgins?

Why do I pay you $15,000 a

year? To retrench and economize?

That's expensive sitting.

I want ideas that are going to cost

money, that are going to make money.

How about a window-Display

contest? Ties, shoes, hats, suits.

A contest in putting

the things together-

The right shoes, the

right hats, the right ties.

Make them clothes-Conscious.

What do you say, Higgins?

Why, this is not a

little 6th avenue shop.

Instead of having bags and shoes

And hats and dresses

all on different floors,

Couldn't we have a small

section in my department

Where the customer could see

the bags and shoes and hats

And get them to match the gowns?

Do that right away!

I'll have to have a crew to

shift the department around.

Get a crew. Have them work

all night if necessary.

From commodore Monroe now,

Mr. Anderson?

Go ahead.

Ah! Ahem!

"To the executive heads of

the Monroe department store.

"In these times which try men's souls,

"I send you this message to remind you

"That the founder of the Monroe store

"Was a descendant of James

Monroe and Benjamin Franklin.

"The Monroe store

"Has a great tradition behind it.

"We must meet the

situation that faces us

With high faith and courage. "

From our yacht.

"We have touched bottom,

but it is an elastic bottom,

"A bottom from which we can rebound

To greater heights. "

I've got an idea! I've got a great idea!

Oh, I'm sorry. Now, what's the idea?

I begged your pardon! I

- Bottoms.

His saying "bottom" gave me the idea.

Men's shorts, men's underwear.

Wait. I'll give it to you right.

I was watching the tie sale downstairs.

Men's ties. Who bought them? Women!

All right. Let's sell

men's things to women.

What do you say, Higgins?

Well, I-I don't see anything in that.

Women buy men's ties, but what of it?

They don't buy anything else for men.

Yes, they do! Men's shorts!

Right next to men's ties.

Right next to the sale, and

they hadn't been selling a thing.

But today we made 46 sales, to

women! Men's drawers to women!

Rubbish! I don't think so.

Behind every woman's purchase

is the shadow of a man.

Here's my idea

- Use shorts as a leader.

Advertise it, or even

don't advertise it,

But move that department next

to the women's ready-To-Wear

So that women will have to pass it.

We'll try it without advertising.

We'll use it as a test

to see if we can sell

Men's drawers to women.

And if we can, we can

sell them men's anything.

What do you think, Higgins?

Fantastic. Not at all in line

With the policy of the

store, and I've been

30 years in the business.

Higgins, get out. You're through.

Not publicly like this.

Publicly or privately, you're through.

You're too old, too set.

You don't think. You don't

work. You just sit there

And obstruct and shake your head.

You think a thing can't be done

because it hasn't been done.

You're deadwood, Higgins. Get out.

And my 30 years in

this store isn't worth-

You've been paid for all

your 30 years, overpaid.

I'll give you a year's salary.

It's worth it to have you out.

But I'm not deadwood!

Get out!

Anderson, this is inhuman!

You can get out, too!

What, I? The associate

executive vice president-

I don't care who you are!

Get busy and shift those departments.

All of you, get back on the

job. Work all night if necessary!

Yes?

The men's lavatory on the fourth

floor is out of order again.

Well, well. A football.

This is just what my

Sammy wants. How much?

$3.50. They're genuine pigskin.

What kind of skin?

Pigskin.

What's the idea of

having a lot of old songs

Out in front like this? Take them back

to the counter and get some new stuff!

Yes, sir.

We'll see whether things

like this can be done.

My husband is the editor of a newspaper.

I'll have this spread all over the

front page. That's what I'll do.

What is it, madam?

Are you the head of this store?

Yes. What's the matter?

I'm Mrs. Lee Hickox. You understand?

Well, Mrs. Hickox?

This man arrested me. Me!

He accused me of stealing my own bag.

How did I know it was her bag?

It was laying on the counter. I

thought it belonged to the store.

I bought this bag a week ago

At Gormley's. You can verify that.

Where was the bag?

On the counter with the

brassieres. I was buying brassieres.

Do we keep handbags among

the brassieres, Sweeney?

Well, what was I to think?

I'll hire somebody to

tell you what to think.

I'm so sorry this happened, Mrs. Hickox.

So am I. It'll make interesting reading

In my husband's newspaper.

We don't like that sort of publicity.

Just what is it worth to you?

I beg your pardon?

As a token of our appreciation,

May I beg you to accept as a gift

Some article of

merchandise from the store?

Just go through the store

and let miss hall know-

This young lady here.

I don't need to go through the store.

I've always wanted a

concert grand piano.

Will you have it sent

or take it with you?

Sent.

Very well. Miss hall, take the address.

And do forgive us, Mrs. Hickox.

Of course. With pleasure.

That's very generous of you.

Good-Bye, Mrs. Hickox.

Good-Bye, Mr. Anderson.

We'll take $10 a week out

of your salary, Sweeney,

Till that piano is paid for,

And I'll give you the wholesale price.

$10 a week? Gee, it'll take me

The rest of my life, Mr. Anderson.

I doubt if you'll live

that long. Get out.

Eighth floor-Toys, sporting goods,

Radios, phonographs, luggage,

Rowing machines, punching bags,

Bathing suits, bathing

caps, sweatshirts, tents,

Ukuleles, riding habits,

And wood-Burning outfits.

Listen, beautiful, I've got two

swell seats for the follies tonight.

Want to go? Uh-Huh.

Dinner? Yeah.

Meet you at 6:
00 at the

side entrance. All righty.

Hello, beautiful. Bad news.

Sweet, I can't make it. Oh, martin.

I gave Mr. Anderson an idea, and now

I've got to stay and help supervise it.

I should have kept my mouth shut

until the morning, but I didn't.

When Anderson gives

an order, that's that.

Here. Take these theater

tickets and take a girlfriend.

I said a girlfriend, now.

I don't want to go without you.

You know, someone ought

to strangle Kurt Anderson

And give us all a vacation.

Aw, now, no, you don't.

Honey, he's all right when

you know him. He's a swell guy.

He's swell till you know him.

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