Falling Down

[DJ IN SPANISH OVER RADIO]

[CAR HORN]

[KIDS YELL & SCREAM]

MAN 1:

Just tell him, damn it!

MAN 2:
Tell him to give him coffee.

MAN 1:
You tell him!

MAN 2:

Give me that!

MAN 2:
Look, get him some coffee

or cookies.

[FLY BUZZES]

[CAR HORN]

I know that!

[FLY BUZZES]

MAN 3:

Hey!

Where do you think you're going?

FOSTER:

Going home.

[POLICE SIREN]

MAN 3:

Officer.

The guy walked into the bushes,

maybe to pee, but he never came back.

Do you need help?

Do you own this car?

That's not him.

The guy walked into the bushes.

He said he was going home.

Going home?

Gentlemen, return to your cars.

What about the car?

I'll radio for a tow truck.

PRENDERGAST:
Let's shove it out of

the way. We'll get this lane moving!

It's dangerous.

We got a lot of glass and steel

rushing by us at high speeds.

PRENDERGAST:

Wait a minute.

Prendergast. Downtown Robbery.

Let's go.

I'm in linoleum tile, myself.

All right.

You, back in your vehicle.

You push. I'll steer.

MAN 3:
We do ceramics too.

Speciai discount for law officers.

I love Cops, the TV show.

Don't you watch it? I never miss it.

You're lucky you caught me.

I am?

Today's my last day as a cop.

Lucky me.

Don't touch it!

Don't touch it!

Just get this lane moving.

Okay. Sorry.

Officer?

Officer?

[PHONE RINGS]

BETH:

Oh, my God! The phone!

Come on, baby.

Watch your fingers.

Take Tucker, okay?

Hello?

ADELE:

Mom?

BETH:

Hello?

Mom, can you help me open this?

Hello?

[BETH HANGS UP]

Can I get some change

for the phone, please?

No change. Have to buy something.

-Eighty-fie sen.

-What?

Eighty-fie sen.

-I don't understand.

-Eighty-fie sen!

Eighty-five cents?

It doesn't give me enough money

for the phone call.

I'll give you 50 cents.

You give me 50 cents change.

-No way.

-Yes, way.

Drink, eighty-fie sen.

You pay or go!

I don't understand "fie."

There's a "V" in the word "five."

No "V's" in China?

-Not Chinese. I'm Korean.

-Whatever.

You come to my country, take my money

and don't even learn my language?

You're Korean?

Do you have any idea how much money

my country has given your country?

How much?

I don't know. It's a lot.

You can bet on that.

You go now! No trouble!

I stay.

What do you think of that?

Jesus Christ!

What is this?

The last stand on Fiji?

-Take the money! Take the money!

-What?

Take the money.

Take your hands away from your--

I can't under-- Stop it!

FOSTER:
All right.

Speak slowly and distinctly.

Take the money.

You think I'm a thief?

You see, I'm not the thief.

I'm not the one charging 85 cents

for a stinking soda!

You're the thief!

I'm just standing up

for my rights as a consumer.

I'm rolling back prices to 1965.

What do you think of that?

Doughnuts. Package of six.

How much?

$1.12.

Too much.

Aspirin. Price?

$3.40.

Oh, please!

AA batteries. Package of four.

$4.29.

Nice try.

This whole shelf looks suspect.

One soda...

...12 ounces.

Fifty sen!

Sold.

It's been a pleasure

frequenting your establishment.

Very funny.

Very, very funny.

LYDECKER:
Genuine Arizona sand,

Prendergast. Get used to it.

PRENDERGAST:

I bet.

Genuine Santa Monica sand's

more like it.

It's from my cat's litterbox,

but he said you could keep the lumps.

You took my stuff out first?

Heck, no. How fun would that be?

PRENDERGAST:
How do I get a pen out?

-Don't need no pen. Use the cat turd.

It's your last day. Be careful.

Remember Forsythe?

-Forsythe got 5 minutes to retirement.

-Two!

Two minutes, nothing! The guy was

on the way to his f***ing car.

Mowed down by a runaway impound.

Nasty.

BRIAN:
Ironic.

LYDECKER:
Ironic as f***!

GRAHAM:

Anything can happen today.

You know how dangerous a desk can be.

Watch out for paper cuts.

PRENDERGAST:

Funny, funny, funny.

Sorry.

I tried to dissuade them.

Hey, Sandra.

It's obligatory, I guess.

Now, what else do they

have up their sleeve?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Are we still on for lunch?

You're not going home early?

Why would I go home early?

Last day and all.

I'm not superstitious.

-Sandy, you ready?

-In a minute.

Leave the poor desk jockey alone.

SANDRA:

See if you know how to start the car.

Let's not get

our pantyhose in a bind.

I'll miss you, Prendergast.

You really will? Me too.

LYDECKER:

Come on, let's go!

Lunch?

BETH:

Just a second, baby.

ADELE:
When will we make

the strawberry cake?

Soon. I thought

sundown would be good.

Here. Not in the house.

Just a few kids. I didn't want

to do a whole big thing.

[PHONE RlNGS]

Prendergast here.

-Hi.

-Hello?

-It's me.

-Hi.

I wish you were home.

Wouldn't you come home now?

What's wrong?

I don 't know.

I got a little scared...

...and I'd like you to come home.

What is it, honey?

I don't know.

I was wrapping some...

...some glasses up

and some things...

...and I got really scared.

You're not doing this move

just for me, are you?

You really want

to do it, don't you?

The important thing is we're together.

That's what counts.

Yeah, but you're not here.

Well, I will be soon, baby.

Say it.

-Say it!

-I'll be home soon.

No, say it!

I'll be home soon, and I love you.

I love you too.

Feel better?

No, I don't feel better!

SINGING:

London Bridge is falling down

Falling down, falling down

London bridge is falling down

Help me.

My fair lady

You my fair lady?

Yes.

-Bye.

-Bye-bye.

What you doing, mister?

Nothing.

GANG MEMBER 1:

You're trespassing on private property.

-Trespassing?

-Loitering too.

That's right.

You're loitering too.

FOSTER:

I didn't see any signs.

What you call that?

Graffiti?

GANG MEMBER 1:

No, man.

That's not f***ing graffiti!

That's a sign.

GANG MEMBER 2:

He can't read it, man.

GANG MEMBER 1:
I'll read it for you.

It says this is private property.

No f***ing trespassing.

This means f***ing you!

-It says all that?

GANG MEMBER 1:
Yeah!

If you wrote it in f***ing English,

I'd f***ing understand it!

-Thinks he's being funny.

-I'm not laughing.

-I'm not either.

-Hold it, fellas.

We're getting off on the wrong foot.

This is a gangland thing, isn't it?

We're having a territorial dispute?

I've wandered into your pissing ground

or whatever the damn thing is...

...and you're offended by my presence.

I understand that.

I mean, I wouldn't want you people

in my back yard, either.

This is your home...

...and your home is your home.

I respect that.

So if you would just back up

a step or two...

...I'll take my problems elsewhere.

Fair enough?

-What do you think?

-He should pay a toll.

Good idea.

You should pay a toll.

Listen, fellas...

...I've had a rare morning.

I'm not in the mood to--

What should he pay?

How about that briefcase?

Good idea.

Give us your briefcase, man.

I'm not giving you

my goddamn briefcase.

Motherf***er, give us

your motherfucking briefcase!

Okay.

Okay.

I was willing

to mind my own business.

I was willing to respect your territory

and treat you like a man.

You couldn't let a man...

...sit here for five minutes to rest

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