Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars

1

You did it, John.

All fighting has stopped.

There's no more dying.

And all of a sudden,

three is not such

a scary number.

But no matter

how wonderful this is,

I will not accept it

as a trade-off

for losing you.

I've got you.

Thank you ever so

for your kind assistance.

Always anxious to lend a hand

to a Dominar.

So often I've proclaimed having

a belly full of Crichton and Aeryn.

Never thought

it would be so literal.

What did you call

their species again?

This is Crichton.

He is called a Human.

And Aeryn, Sebacean.

Definitely Sebacean.

Rygel, do you have

all the pieces?

From under every rock,

every crevice,

I sifted the bottom sand

with my bare hands!

Look at my nails!

Caa'ta, the Leviathan ship

has returned.

Their transport pod

is approaching.

Order the concealment

canopy lowered.

Sir, another deep-space contact

from Peacekeeper Strategic Command.

It's Grand Chancellor Maryk again.

Grand Chancellor.

Where the Hedsmana

in my orders did you find the phrase

"preemptive attack"?

The Scarrans are massing

for an impending onslaught

we all know is coming!

A conflict we are

ill situated to win.

By challenging them before

they are prepared, we have a fighting chance.

- You were sent to gather surveillance and...

- With all due respect, sir,

I was sent here to perish

at the vanguard

of this inevitable conflict.

I simply refuse to participate

on their terms or yours!

Because of your actions,

the Scarran Empire

has declared war against us.

Do you know what that means,

Scorpius?

We are now officially engaged

in the last war of our era!

Congratulations.

- D'Argo!

- Chiana!

- Your eyes.

- I can see again.

- What happened? How?

- He, He gave me n-new eyes.

- We found one, yes.

- Stark and I found a Diagnosan.

What's wrong with him?

Nothing's wrong with him!

He's fine.

Grunschlk, I thought

you were dead.

Me? Hardly at all.

Those crystals

are people's lives.

Stop waving that thing around.

This had better work.

You're lucky

to have him, mate.

Diagnosans,

they're at a premium.

Especially now

that there's a war on.

What war?

The Peacekeepers and the Scarrans

have declared war against each other.

Do the Peacekeepers know

what they're getting into?

The Scarrans didn't

give 'em much choice.

They were already taking

the galaxy by force. System by system.

A galaxy-wide war.

The Scarran vanguard has breached our

defense perimeter.

We've drawn them in

sufficiently. The trap is set.

Captain, initiate the plan

exactly as I instructed.

All pilots, deactivate

targeting in-flight systems.

We fly manual from here.

Fly straight in.

Their targeting telemetrics

will be corrupted

at least two degrees off center

by the ambient magnetics.

You dared them to hit you.

Red Team, move close to my

left flank. Blue Team, likewise.

Upon signal,

execute tier attack

on lead Scarran Dreadnought.

Confirm.

All armada ships

now taking heavy fire, sir.

Only for the moment.

Stay positioned.

And... fire!

Lower your weapons.

How long?

About 60 solar days.

Where?

Still on the water planet.

Put your weapons down now!

Bad guys?

Yes and no. They did help us

put you back together.

Put us back together?

They said it was an accident.

You were crystallized.

Crystallized?

Last warning.

- You said yes.

- I did?

- Sixty days. Any regrets?

- No. It's going really well.

Hey, we're gonna get married!

Congratulations.

Sir, you were

absolutely correct.

Their pilots and gunners

were no match for ours.

- Scorpius?

- Prepare to withdraw.

What?

The rest of the armada is to continue

to engage the enemy, covering our escape.

But, sir, we're winning.

- Without this carrier, all remaining units...

- My orders are clear.

Sir, you're asking us to withdraw our troops,

our ships, our...

Close hangars!

Wait for maximum speed.

He is alive, Sikozu.

John Crichton is alive.

One more time.

Begin again.

Fine.

For the 89th time.

Once upon a time,

there was a boy named John.

And John was an astronaut.

He lived in a faraway place

called Earth.

Which is so far away,

you've never heard of it.

One day when John was out

doing astronaut things,

a big blue wormhole

gobbled him up and spat him out

at the far end of the universe.

- Things were looking grim in Mudville

- Canaveral?

Till our hero met

an amazing living ship,

made some nice new friends

and he hooked up

with his dream girl.

We could've lived happily ever

after, but the Peacekeepers

raped, chased and tortured us

for years on end.

Fire!

Then two months ago, we got

our asses shot off again.

This time it was the Scarrans,

big reptiles. Oooh!

And Moya, our living ship,

limped her way to your

happy planet for a little R&R.

Because we figure, it's empty!

Hey, no one is gonna bother us.

We're gonna have a baby!

- Will you marry me?

- Yes.

Next thing, me

and the future Mrs. Crichton

are having a private moment

when you guys fly by.

Boom bada-bing,

squiggly line, squiggly line.

Crystallized.

And it's two months later.

What?

Retreating.

Scorpius has powered off

his onboard beacon.

We have no way

of tracking him.

Broadcast this order.

Highest priority.

The instant his command carrier

is spotted, it is to be fired upon.

No hailing,

no offer to surrender.

I want this coward Scorpius

and all who fly with him

erased from existence!

Aye, Chancellor.

Scorpius is many things, Maryk.

None of them good.

But a coward? Never.

He has initiated this war,

and then turned and run!

How do you define

cowardice, Grayza?

Grand Chancellor,

please consider my counsel

on this carefully.

Hatred of the Scarrans

is Scorpius'

sole consistent trait.

There is something else.

Perhaps.

But my orders stand.

- Funny how?

- Different.

Different how? Like ice cream

cucumber different?

I don't know.

That's why I'm here.

All right. Everything

is gonna be okay.

Do you know why?

Because we're done.

We're checking out.

Next Ferengi we see, we run.

No questions later.

From this moment on,

my one concern, my life

is you

and our baby.

Are you sure?

- What?

- Is she all right? The baby all right?

Doc says he doesn't know

what you're talking about. There is no baby.

What?

Whoa, whoa! What do you mean, no baby?

Ah, if there was

a little passenger before,

it ain't aboard the train

no more.

Doc says you

never were pregnant.

- I was.

- She was!

She was preg...

You were pregnant?

I was pregnant!

There is no baby.

No. Nothing.

Whoa!

We were in pieces,

thousands of pieces.

Rygel said he got every single piece off of the

ocean floor.

- Rygel.

- He was very thorough.

We made sure of it.

Even carried the pieces

up in his stomach

to make sure

he didn't drop them.

Congratulations, mate.

You are a mother!

- Oh, no!

- It's all right.

The wee babe

is doing just fine.

Yes, but it's doing

just fine inside me!

This is not happening.

- Do something.

- Hands off, missy.

The fee.

The fee is going up.

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