Ferris Bueller's Day Off Page #14

Elvis fades up. The orignal recording. Ferris lip synchs

with the big, dramatic florish that was the King's trademark

ballad sign-off.

ELVIS:

IS YOUR HEART FILLED WITH PAIN?

SHALL I COME BACK AGAIN?

TELL ME DEAR, ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT?

Ferris drops his head. Like the King would.

147 EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET. CAMERON'S CAR147

Cameron's father is looking at the car. He's studying it. It

looks terribly familiar. He leans into the open car and

reaches for the glovebox to see if the contents will confirm

if it's his. He freezes. He looks up slowly.

HIS POV:

The Attendant and the Rastaman are glowering at him. They're

holding bags of fried chicken.

ATTENDANT:

You looking for something in my

car?

CU. CAMERON'S FATHER

He shakes his head, no.

CAMERON'S FATHER

No.

148 EXT. FERRIS' TOWN. JEANIE148

Jeanie's standing at her car. She's staring incredulously

into the distance. Her mouth's open. She's shaking her head

slowly.

HER POV:

Spray-painted on the town water tower in gigantic black

letters -- SAVE FERRIS BUELLER.

CU. JEANIE

She's furious.

JEANIE:

I'm gonna microwave his nuts...

149 EXT. MICHIGAN AVENUE 149

Afternoon traffic.

150 INT. TAXI CAB 150

Ferris, Sloane and Cameron in the backseat of a checker.

Ferris is on one window, Cameron on the other. Sloane's in

the middle. Ferris is talking to the DRIVER.

FERRIS:

So...

He leans forward and reads the driver's name off the city

license.

FERRIS:

So, Yuri, how long have you been

in America?

DRIVER:

One year.

FERRIS:

What's your overall impression?

DRIVER:

It's very good here.

FERRIS:

Better than Russia?

DRIVER:

Much better here than in Russia.

FERRIS:

Clearly you've never been to an

American high school.

Ferris sits back. He puts his arm around Sloane.

CAMERON:

It's getting late, Ferris. I have

to get the car home. I know you

don't care, but it means my ass.

FERRIS:

You think I don't care?

CAMERON:

I know you don't care.

FERRIS:

That hurts, Cameron.

SLOANE:

Jump back, Ferris, Cameron's been

a good sport.

FERRIS:

Cameron, what'd you see today?

Cameron looks at him.

FERRIS:

You saw four states, a submarine,

a giant heart, seventy five dollars

worth of cooked pancreas, two of the

most incredible breasts ever to come

out of modern plastics, major

league baseball and...

(quizical look)

Are you gonna chuck your nachos?

Cameron's staring past Ferris. He's frozen. Ferris realizes

he's looking at something out the window. He turns. He

freezes.

HIS POV:

In the gridlock traffic, their cab is squeezed tight

alongside another cab. In that cab is Tom. He's about a foot

from Ferris. He turns and looks right into CAMERA.

TOM'S POV

Ferris' frozen face.

FERRIS' POV

Tom glances back at his paper. He pauses. Looks up. Thinks.

Turns back to CAMERA.

TOM'S POV

Sloane is sitting where Ferris was. She's wearing

sunglasses, looking bored. She turns and glances out the

window. Fakes a yawn.

HER POV:

Tom stares at her. He's baffled. He looks away.

INT. CAB. FLOOR.

Cameron and Ferris are on the floor. On their asses, with

their backs to the back of the front seat, feet up on the

seat.

FERRIS:

(to Sloane)

What's he doing?

SLOANE:

(revolted)

He's looking at me and he's licking

the glass and making obscene gestures

with his hands.

FERRIS:

What?!

Sloane bursts out laughing.

SLOANE:

Roast!

She licks her finger and touches Ferris knee. She makes a

sizzling sound. She collapes on the seat in hysterics.

INT. TOM'S CAB

Tom's looking into Ferris' cab.

HIS POV:

Sloane's bouncing up and down.

CU. TOM

He can't quite figure out what's going on. He turns and

slowly raises his newspaper over his face. We see on the

back of the paper a small story with the headline: COMMUNITY

RALLIES AROUND SICK YOUTH.

151 EXT. FERRIS' HOUSE. BACKYARD. DOG 151

The Rottweiler's chewing on a shoe. Tearing it apart.

EXT. BACKYARD. ROONEY

He's standing outside the fence. He's missing a shoe. His

suit pants are torn from the crotch to the knee. His suit

coat pocket is torn off. His hair's messed and there're

grass-stains on his knees and elbows. He's looking in at the

dog.

ROONEY:

That's a $28.00 dress shoe, you

worthless mutt!

HIS POV:

The Rottweiler leaps at CAMERA.

152 EXT. CITY STREET 152

Ferris is leading the way down Michigan Avenue. He's

hustling through the crowd. He has Sloane by the hand. She's

jogging to keep up. Cameron's a few steps behind. He keeps

bumping into people. Ferris and Sloane make the turn at

Wacker Driver and disappear into the Stone Container

Building. Cameron follows, mumbling again.

CAMERON:

Money...tits...please...

153 EXT. HOUSE. FRONT 153

A florist truck pulls up in front of the house. A DELIVERY

MAN gets out iwth a huge floral arrangement. He heads up to

the house.

154 EXT. HOUSE. PORCH 154

Rooney's sitting on the porch patting a bloody knee with his

handkerchief. The delivery man hops up on the steps. Rooney

looks up at him. He greets Rooney cheerily.

DELIVERY MAN:

Howdy!

He presses the doorbell. A beat and we hear Ferris'

recording.

FERRIS' VOICE

Who is it?

The Deliver Man presses the intercom.

DELIVERY MAN:

Focus on Flowers. I have a delivery.

FERRIS' VOICE

I'm sorry but I can't come to the

door right now. I'm very ill and I'm

afraid...

ROONEY FERRIS' VOICE

It's a recording, a**hole. ...that in my weakened

condition, I could take a

DELIVERY MAN nasty spill and subject

What's your problem? myself to further school

absenses...

ROONEY (pause)

He's one of my students.You can reach my parents

at their places of

DELIVERY MAN business. Thank you for

Little bugger's dying. stopping by. I appreciate

your concern for my well-

ROONEY being. It will be

What? remembered long after

this illness has passed.

DELIVERY MAN:

As I heard it from our mailman

he was supposedly born with only

half a kidney.

FERRIS' VOICE

Have a nice day.

DELIVERY MAN:

(to the intercom)

Thank you.

(continues)

I don't know the details. But my

boss had to send to Milwaukee to

get more orchids. He's very

popular.

Rooney is flabbergasted.

DELIVERY MAN:

Nobody's home here?

ROONEY:

No.

DELIVERY MAN:

You gonna be around for awhile?

ROONEY:

I imagine so.

DELIVERY MAN:

You wanna keep an eye on these?

Rooney looks at the flowers. Then he looks at the Delivery

Man.

DELIVERY MAN:

(happy sigh)

It really touches me that so many people

are rallying behind this guy. I guess

there's hope for the human race afterall.

He hands the arrangement to Rooney.

DELIVERY MAN:

Gotta run.

He bounds off the porch and trots to the truck. Rooney looks

incredulously at the arrangement. He opens the attached

card.

ROONEY:

(defeated)

Oh, Christ...

CU. CARD

It's signed:

ALL OUR BEST FOR A SPEEDY RECOVERY

THE ENGLISH DEPT. FACULTY AND STAFF

155 INT. RADIO STATION STUDIO155

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