Ferris Bueller's Day Off Page #7

FERRIS:

It is his fault he didn't lock the

garage.

CAMERON:

Ferris, my father loves this car more

than life itself. We can't take is out.

FERRIS:

A man with priorities so far out of

whack doesn't deserve such a fine

automobile.

CAMERON:

He never drives it, Ferris. He just

rubs it with a diaper.

FERRIS:

We can't pick up Sloane in your car,

Cameron. Rooney'd never believe Mr.

Peterson drives that piece of sh*t.

CAMERON:

It's not a piece of sh*t.

FERRIS:

It's a piece of sh*t. Don't worry

about it. I don't even have a piece

of sh*t. I have to envy yours. Look,

I'm sorry but there's nothing else

we can do.

CAMERON:

He knows the mileage, Ferris. He has

it tatooed on his wrist.

FERRIS:

He doesn't trust you?

CAMERON:

No.

FERRIS:

Alright, look, this is real simple.

He puts his arm around Cameron.

FERRIS:

Whatever miles we put on it, we'll

take off.

CAMERON:

(suspicious)

How?

FERRIS:

(big, proud smile)

We'll drive home backwards.

Cameron shakes his head, no.

CAMERON:

Forget it. I'm putting my foot down,

Ferris. You'll have to think of

something else...

CU. FERRARI GRILLE

Cameron's protests are drowned out by the distinctive roar

of the twelve cylinders.

CAMERON'S VOICE

...You're not talking me into this

one. I have to live with the man.

I'm sorry but...

The roar of the engine is overtaken by the sound of a

crowded school hallway.

85 INT. SCHOOL. JEANIE 85

She comes out of a classroom. She stops as Sloane and Rooney

walk past. Sloane has her coat on and she's carrying her

books. Jeanie watches her suspiciously.

86 EXT. SCHOOL86

The Ferrari is parked out in front. The top is down.

87 INT. FERRARI 87

Ferris is driving. He's wearing a man's hat and sunglasses.

Cameron's in the back.

CAMERON:

Are you crazy?! Put the top back

up!

FERRIS:

This is perfect top-down weather.

CAMERON:

What about Rooney?

FERRIS:

Cameron, the more obvious we are,

the less likely we are to get

caught.

CAMERON:

That makes no sense whatsoever.

FERRIS:

The adult mind is a suspicious

machine.

(look around at Cameron)

Stay down, man.

Cameron squeezes himself lower.

CAMERON:

Howcome it's my Dad's car and

I'm taking all the risk and I have

to ride back here?

FERRIS:

I don't have an explanation.

88 EXT. SCHOOL88

Rooney and Sloane come out the door.

ROONEY:

Once again let me say how deeply

saddened I am by your loss.

SLOANE:

Huh?

ROONEY:

Were you close to your grandmother?

SLOANE:

Oh. Um. Yeah. Very. She was a terrific

lady. Very hip. Very old. Yeah.

DEEP VOICE:

Oh, Sloane! Dear!

Sloane looks across at the Ferrari. Rooney looks.

THEIR POV:

Ferris is looking out across the roof of the Ferrari. He's

careful to keep his nose and mouth below the roofline.

FERRIS:

Hurry along now!

EXT. SCHOOL

Rooney's suspicious. Sloane smiles and bids Rooney a hasty

farewell.

SLOANE:

I guess that's my Dad. Thanks.

See ya.

She hurries to the car. Rooney watches her. Something does

compute for him.

89 INT. SCHOOL. JEANIE 89

She's watching out the door. She sees the Ferrari pull away.

90 EXT. SCHOOL. ROONEY 90

He can't quite put his finger on what's bothering him.

91 INT. FERRARI 91

Sloane shrieks with delight. She leans across the console

and gives Ferris a kiss.

SLOANE:

This is so great! I can't believe

it! Right in front of Rooney!

She laughs and turns to Cameron.

SLOANE:

Hi, Cameron. You comfortable?

CAMERON:

Hi. No.

SLOANE:

What a fabulous car!

CAMERON:

Enjoy it quick. It' s going home.

FERRIS:

It was risky, it was bold but

it was totally necessary.

SLOANE:

What're we gonna do?

FERRIS:

The question isn't "what are we

gonna do", the question is "what

aren't we going to do."

CAMERON:

Don't tell me we're not going to

take the car home. Please.

FERRIS:

(to CAMERA)

If you had access to a car like this

would you take it back right away?

Would you give up feeling like a

ton just to ease your best friend's

tension?

He smiles.

FERRIS:

Either would I.

92 EXT. STREET. FERRARI 92

It accelerates away like a shot.

93 EXT. SUBURBAN BANK 93

A fresh, modern bank building. The clock outside read 9:53.

The Ferrari pulls into the parking lot.

94 INT. BANK. DOORS94

Ferris, Cameron and Sloane walk in. Ferris is cocky and

confident. Sloane's still intoxicated with her freedom.

Cameron's having stomach trouble. Ferris leads the way to an

open teller window.

INT. BANK. TELLER

A WOMAN about seventy with a silver blue beehive. It's about

four inches higher the highest beehive you're ever seen. As

she moves the beehive hits a small sign over her head. She's

been at the bank since they opened. She smiles when she sees

Ferris.

TELLER:

Ferris Bueller?

FERRIS:

He's at the window. On either shoulder are Cameron and

Sloane. Ferris smiles. Cameron blanches.

FERRIS:

Hello, Mrs. Froeling. How are you?

TELLER:

She pats the rock-solid mass of blue hair. In doing so she

locates a missing ball point pen. She withdraws it from the

hair and smiles at it's reappearance.

TELLER:

I passed a kidney stone Tuesday, so

I'm a little pooped but other than

that, I'm as chipper as can be.

(something occurs to her)

Say, should you be in school?

FERRIS:

He lays his savings bonds on the counter.

FERRIS:

Me?

(polite laugh)

I'm out of school, Mrs. Froeling.

In fact. I'm married. This is my

wife...Madonna.

Sloane suppresses a laugh.

FERRIS:

(to Cameron)

And this is my brother-in-law,

ZZ Top. ZZ, this is Mrs. Froeling.

Cameron isn't amused.

TELLER:

(to Cameron)

Is Top a Slavic name?

CAMERON:

Yeah.

FERRIS:

I'd like to cash these in, please.

We're having a baby and we need the

cash for a crib, clothes, diapers,

food pellets, leash, water dish...

INT. BANK. TELLER WINDOW

Mrs. Froeling takes the bonds with a hearty smile. The

latter part of the conversation sails over her like a line

drive.

TELLER:

A baby!

(to Sloane)

You must be so excited.

Cameron groans and turns away from the sham.

SLOANE:

I'm thrilled, ma'am. I'm especially

looking forward to wearing those

jeans with the stretch panel in

front.

Mrs. Froeling thumbs through the bonds.

TELLER:

Are you hoping for a boy or

a girl?

SLOANE:

Actually, we're hoping for a car.

CU. CAMERON

He's spooked by the games playing. He scans the bank

nervously. He blinks, focuses, blinks again.

HIS POV:

Joyce is with a MIDDLE-AGED COUPLE and their bored,

sour-puss teenage son, BOYD. He's sitting in a chair with

his legs slung over the sides waving a Bic lighter back and

forth across his rump. The parents are Joyce's clients from

Vermont. A LOAN OFFICER is discussing the local financing

situation with them. His is an open office adjacent to the

teller windows. Joyce's back is to the tellers.

CU. CAMERON

It's like he's just witnesses an ax murder.

CAMERON:

Sh*t...

INT. BANK. JOYCE

Her back is to the teller windows. She's conducting her

meeting. Behind her we see Cameron grab Ferris and point her

out to him. He waves. Cameron slaps his arm.

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