Fierce Creatures

I'm here to see Rod McCain.

Willa Weston.

I'm not gettin' an answer.

You'll have to wait, ma'am.

I'm starting work here today,

and I can't be late.

Can I help?

I don't think so.

Could you try Mr. McCain's assistant

again, please?

I already did, ma'am.

You sure I can't help?

Am I not on the list?

Don't worry, Bill. I'll take her up.

She's from the White House.

Whatever you say, Mr. McCain.

Vince McCain. I'm the son.

This way. You are?

Willa Weston.

I'm here to manage WOCT networks.

And you are vice president

of marketing.

Yes, but mostly I just

wait for my father to die.

What was that thing

about the White House?

I was just changing

his perception of the situation.

First law of marketing.

So, what would you like to know about

the most powerful man alive?

Around here, he's known

as '' Rod Almighty.''

Wait right here.

He called me.

I'll be right out.

He called me.

Hi, Neville. How's it going?

Rod's busy.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, yeah! Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, yes!

I did it. I did the deal.

One-four-five?

One-three-bloody-eight. Hit me.

You bloody beauty!

Way to go, Dad! We did it again!

- Oh, it's you.

- Dad, can I introduce--

I don't have time.

I'm late for the finance meeting.

- But, Dad--

- Shut up.

- What do we do about Detroit?

- Close it.

It's done.

Call me Rod.

- Welcome aboard.

- Thanks.

- Dad, I'd like to introduce--

-Just signed a beautiful deal.

Alliance Leisure, U.K.

The sweetest part is...

I snatched it from under the nose

of that bastard Murdoch.

- What are the crown jewels?

- Northeast Television...

and Great British Publishing.

There's a film distribution company,

1 4 multiplexes, some bingo halls--

- Three ice rinks, a crematorium--

- Nice little owner, that, and a zoo.

- A zoo?

- Yep.

Gotta go, Willa. Finance meeting.

Back, Neville. So, make a lot

of money for me at--

- WOCT.

- Sorry.

- What?

- Sold it this morning.

Don't worry.

We'll find something for ya.

Talk to you later.

- That's it?

- That's Dad.

- You mean I don't have a job?

- Look, Willa--

- I just gave up a vice presidency.

- No worries, Willa.

We've got lots of jobs.

We're always expanding.

Neville, check our liability

on the Detroit pension rights.

- Righto.

- Vince, go away.

- Where are my grapes?

- I'm sorry, Mr. McCain.

I wanted grapes!

It was a natural mistake.

I wanted grapes. Get the fruit.

- What's going on at that zoo?

- What zoo?

The one you just acquired

in Britain.

We put in a guy from Octopus TV,

Hong Kong.

Hard-nosed little Chinese bastard

called Lee.

He used to bein the Hong Kong police.

Speaks good English, but--

- Big cats over there, right?

- Yes.

And small mammal house there.

- That's right.

- Good.

Mammals.

Have you any background in animals?

Well, I've eaten a lot, you know.

Sorry.Joke.

Good evening.

Now, for those of you who have

not met me yet, my name is Rollo Lee...

and as of yesterday morning,

I have assumed command of this zoo...

and I shall be reporting to our new

owners, Octopus, Inc., of Atlanta.

Now, Octopus, of course,

is owned by Mr. Rod McCain, who...

as I'm sure you were aware,

is a remarkable man.

Starting with his father's

radio stations in New Zealand...

he has built up a global empire...

currently worth more than

six billion dollars...

and growing.

How much does he want in the end?

Yeah.

- What ?

- How much bigger does he wanna get?

Well, there aren't any limits.

He wants growth.

Presumably, he's aware

of Dr. E.F. Schumacher's...

concept of limited resources or,

as Jean-Paul Sartre puts it--

Any sensible questions? Yes.

- Are you going to close the zoo?

- Yeah.

I'm very glad you asked me that.

- No, you're not.

- Yes, I am.

- No, you're not.

- Now, look.

This zoo has to make money.

It does.

- Yes, yes, but not enough.

- Enough for what?

Now, don't--

Actually, I will tell you precisely.

Mr. McCain requires

a 20% return on capital...

from each and every asset

in his empire.

Why 20%?

Because he does, that's why.

Could we explore

that thinking a little?

Yeah.

I thought not.

Despite the fact that current

management theory regards--

Despite the fact that current

management theory regards--

Now, the big problem is this:

How do we cut costs...

and attract more visitors?

I'll tell you from my experience

at Octopus Television...

exactly what draws the biggest

audiences all over the world.

Violence. Oh, yes.

Mr. Sylvester Stallone

did not get where he is today...

by playing in Jane Austen.

-What's that got to do with it?

-Therefore, in this zoo...

we require only animals

that are potentially violent.

Fierce animals.

All the rest, I'm afraid,

will have to go.

What d'you mean, go?

- We'll have to find them other homes.

- What? Outside the zoo?

This zoo is dedicated

to conservation.

- Yes.

- I am all in favour of conservation...

and the three things that I

want to conserve are this zoo...

your jobs and fierce animals.

He barges in here without

the slightest idea of what--

- You two don't seem very upset.

- We are, really.

- Because your animals are fierce?

- No, we think it's--

- Diabolical.

- What does he mean by ''fierce''?

A giraffe can kick a man's head off,

but you wouldn't call them ''fierce.''

It's the same

with sea lions and penguins.

I mean, people don't think of them

as violent, but they can be killers.

Why have you all gone quiet?

Are you trying to tell me

that coati is fierce?

Please! This is a wild animal.

It's not domesticated.

You take a liberty with one of these

things, they give you a very nasty nip.

A safety pin would give me a nasty nip.

I'll tell you what's fierce.

Fierce is biting the whole hand off.

- The whole hand?

- Thank you.

It is all right

if it wrenches the hand off?

Oh, yes, fine.

Lotterby, could I have

a word with you, please?

- These are your meerkats, correct?

- Don't do that, please, sir.

- They go straight for the throat.

- This new plaque of yours...

says that they're known as

''The Piranhas of the Desert.''

Is that right?

They can strip a human

carcass in three minutes.

My encyclopedia says they're

easily tamed and often kept as pets.

You've not been attacked

by one, sir.

Nobody's been attacked

by one, Lotterby...

or, rather, if they have,

they never noticed.

Now, these Patagonian maras of yours...

devastate entire

Argentinian villages, do they?

They completely wipe 'em out, sir.

Shocking to watch.

It says here they eat grass.

That's for hors d'oeuvres, sir.

When their blood's up--

Lotterby, you are trying

to deceive me into thinking...

- some of your animals are fierce...

- I'm talkin' about the rogue ones, sir.

when they are, in fact, loveable, cuddly

and surplus to requirements.

You want ever animal here a psycho?

Exactly. I want

a lethal weapon in every cage.

- So what do we do with all the others?

- Simple. Get rid of'em.

- Willa, can I ask you a question?

- Sure.

- Are those breasts real?

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