Fool's Gold Page #5

he just came up out of the water like that.

I know, and holding the sword.

And then he just makes

this totally perfect toss...

...and the sword ends up sticking

straight up in the deck.

Amazing.

But it's more than just the sheer power

of his raw sexuality.

It's a totality of his emotional commitment

to the task at hand.

Yeah, it's the focus. It's the focus.

He sees it. He wants it.

- He goes after it. He gets it.

- He sure got me.

Do you mind?

- I'm sorry.

- We're sorry.

Well...

Here's to a wonderfully exciting first day...

...and to the safe landing

of our glorious leader.

Hear, says I. Hear, hear, Nigel.

You the man.

No, he meant you, stupid.

What?

- No, Finn, honey, Finn.

- Oh.

There's port in the salon

if anyone's interested...

...and a wonderful selection of cigars...

...if anyone feels like

ruining the evening for the rest of us...

...and cupcakes.

Are there any prostitutes?

Sorry. No.

Well, maybe we can call some.

Oh. My God, are you serious?

Pay him no attention, Gemma,

he's a provocateur.

Okay, but we're not in France right now,

we're in America.

- Think I'm gonna head to bed.

- That's it for me tonight.

A coincidence that we got up together,

and we're both going to bed...

...because we're not going

to bed together.

- Obviously.

- No.

Well, it's really none of our business.

Or even interesting.

- What she's trying to say...

- Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Nigel, great day.

Gemma, sweet dreams.

- Good night, sir.

- Good night, Tess.

I hope...

I hope, Gemma...

...it hasn't been too dull for you here.

Of course not, Daddy.

It's been really fun.

Yes.

Do you still play gin rummy?

Oh, my God, all the time.

Whenever I fly.

Oh. Penny a point?

Hey, it's Tess.

Don't get the wrong idea,

I just, uh, wanna talk. Um...

I just thought,

since I've been kind of critical recently...

...maybe I should tell you

how magnificent you were today...

...you know, taking out their grid and...

You couldn't hit Moe back.

Uh, it just reminded me of how...

Are you in here?

Oh.

Gin.

What?

Hundred and five.

Twenty-eight thousand.

- Dollars?

- Well, it's all going to charity, Daddy.

Well, darling, I'm very pleased

you've inherited...

...not only your mother's beauty

and na:
:ve charm...

...but also her singular talent for

getting huge sums of money out of me...

...with a modicum of effort.

What's wrong?

I don't want it.

I'm sorry. It was a joke.

I mean, be honest...

...she didn't exactly marry me for love,

did she?

My mother...

...was a 24-year-old blackjack dealer

from Nebraska.

You had to tip her $500

just to have a drink with you.

You got married two weeks later

at the age of 175.

- 51 to be precise.

- Now you're mad...

...because she had the brains to get

some money before you dumped her?

No, I'm mad about the amount.

Oh, well, okay, you can have mine.

Because I'm cutting myself off.

I don't want anything from you anymore.

Except for food. And clothes.

And rent and, like, travel.

And I'm totally serious.

Yes, that's what is so frightening

about it.

Gemma?

For what it's worth...

...I loved your mother, and I love you.

You believe in ghosts, Curtis?

You know what,

you are some kind of stupid.

Now you sound like my wife.

Bunny around?

You know, I can't hear you,

you talking to my deaf ear.

Oh, sorry.

Curtis?

Take me to see Bigg Bunny.

Bigg Bunny ain't never wanna find out

you didn't drown the first time.

Okay.

Sh*t.

When's the last time

you had this thing sharpened?

Okay, okay, okay, one second.

Now look, 20 people saw me today,

everybody on Moe's boat.

Now if you guys take me to Bigg Bunny...

...it's gonna look a lot better than if

he finds out I'm alive from someone else.

- It ain't his decision no more.

- Now, who in the hell are you?

Ow.

Ain't no fool like a gold fool.

Ain't that right, Mr. Finnegan?

Who's the new guy?

This here is Cyrus.

He's my new, uh, chief of staff.

He's helping me to refocus, reform,

and renew.

What do you need him for, huh?

We handling it.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa!

God, jeez. What's the...?

Why'd you do that?

Just a little restructure.

See, you let this boy get past

you not just once, but twice.

So I hope you focused now.

Oh, extremely focused. Very motivated.

My morale probably 20 percent higher

than when I came in here.

- Can I get a word in?

- What? What do you want?

I wanna buy some time.

You still breathing, ain't you?

Yeah, thank you.

Now, hear me out.

All right, the way I see it, you bet

on Moe, you got a fifty-fifty chance...

...but you bet on the both of us, and we

cover twice the ground in half the time...

...and I'm willing to give you 10 percent

of everything I find.

Plus what I already owe you, of course.

How much you say?

Ten percent, across-the-board.

Ten percent, huh?

Wow.

- Say it again.

- Come on, what...?

You know, 12 percent's cool.

You know, I couldn't even hear you.

What you say?

- Fifteen percent, but I gotta find...

- I'm sorry, how much?

- Eighteen, but I owe other people.

- That don't sound right.

- Twenty percent, but that's it, final.

- Oh.

Damn it. What? How much do you want?

I'll tell you what.

You find the treasure and I won't kill you.

- How much do you owe him?

- Whoa.

Jesus, Tess.

How much do you owe him?

Owe who? Owe who what?

Bigg Bunny.

I don't owe him any money.

Finn, how much do you owe him?

Just tell me so I'll know.

Oh, God, Tess. I mean, that's so hard

to be specific about.

- It's a really complex payment schedule...

- How much?

Sixty-two thousand, five hundred and

eighty-one dollars and forty-three cents.

But we're good now.

Is there a reason

you didn't tell me this before?

Yeah.

You wouldn't have come.

Yeah, I would.

Just wouldn't have come with you.

Are we finished?

We sure are.

- You good?

- Yeah.

Okay.

What happened to your face?

Somebody hit me with a cricket bat.

Ah.

- This is a new type of regulator...

- Shove it up your ass.

- All right, we're good to go.

- Ready, darling?

Drop dead.

This is just like the old days, huh?

Hello, darling.

Drink?

I have one.

You know what else

is really bugging me?

No.

Please, tell us. Because I may personally

drop dead from disappointment...

...if I don't find out the 700-millionth thing

about life on planet Earth...

...that is bugging you.

Well, this is fun.

No, listen.

If I am the Dutch frigate

stuck on a reef in a dead calm...

...in the same cove

the Aurelia sank three years earlier...

...in less than 30 feet

of the clearest water in the world...

Then how come I can't see her?

Because she isn't there.

Yeah, I don't know.

No, no, no. Sebastian specifically said

that's where she sank.

- And he said it.

- Yeah.

My dear children, your entire theory

is predicated on the proposition...

...that Sebastian lied about everything he

could to prevent the ship being found.

So why on Earth would

he tell the truth about where she sank?

Rate this script:3.5 / 2 votes