Fool's Gold Page #6

I mean, it seems to me that

the Aurelia can't be in the cove...

...for the simple reason that

that's where Sebastian said she was.

Sorry to disturb.

We've had to move to the lee side

on account of the storm.

She won't fit in the marina?

Afraid not. A taxi will take you

to the beach on the north end.

- Call, we'll pick you up on the launch.

- Better safe than sorry.

Sir.

I've grown rather fond of not sinking.

Ugh. Don't even say that.

Oh, it would be a shame

to lose the art collection.

Or Gemma's shoes.

Especially because we're so close

to shore, you know?

Oh, my God.

What?

Oh, my God, of course.

Of course what?

You are a genius.

Stefan.

- Stefan.

- Yes.

Why did you pick the north beach?

I didn't. It's the only beach on the

island not blocked by the reef.

Yes. Yes. He ran her aground.

What are you so happy about?

- He ran her aground.

- What?

To save the Dowry. Sebastian ran

the whole goddamn thing aground.

Bet you $ 1000 I find something

between here and that beach.

You don't have $ 1000.

Fine, make it 10.

You don't have $ 10.

Fine, make it a million.

What are you doing?

You think I'm letting you go out

there alone, you're crazy.

What, you don't trust me?

Why on Earth would I trust you?

Huh.

- I found a cannon.

- I found a cannon.

- You did what?

- You mean there's two?

- There's two cannons.

- Aah!

- And I owe you a million dollars. Aah!

- Yes, you do. Oh!

Whoo!

We got the Aurelia, baby!

Listen to me, if anybody finds out about

this outside of our crew, we are screwed.

Wow. Can't you just enjoy this

for a second?

Oh, I'm enjoying it.

Oh, God. Thank God.

Whoo-hoo!

Well, there's not much here.

Now, they probably burned the ship

and took everything inland.

Look, a pistol.

Cool.

All right, well, what do we know

about Topsail Cay?

We got the town, the church...

There's Preacher's Cave.

We were up there once.

It said something about first settlers...

...religious freedom...

God, I think that is just so important.

Yeah, but that was like...

- Oh.

- Like 1780-something.

I mean, Sebastian beat them here

by almost 70 years.

If there are any records,

they're in the church.

- Letters, journals, sermons.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's smart, Tess.

It's the oldest building on the island.

- Yeah.

- Hmm.

When Moe finds out we're gone...

...he's gonna come barreling up

your ass like a freight train.

Oh, my, that ought to be interesting.

Well, I'm just saying

we don't have much time.

Oh, my God.

Stop the boat!

I just figured it out. It's been

right in front of us this whole time.

What?

Precious Gem.

Yes.

Well, do you realize how incredibly similar

the word "gem" is to "Gemma"?

Uh... I thought I did.

My God.

Daddy, you named the boat after me

and didn't even know it.

I didn't?

Don't you see?

You were running away to sea,

only you wanted to bring me along.

So you unconsciously

named the boat after me.

That is so beautiful.

Of course I named it for you, Gemma.

But it wasn't unconscious.

I gave it a lot of thought.

No. You did it unconsciously.

And then I did it unconsciously.

Good afternoon.

Afternoon. May I help you?

- I hope so. I'm Finnegan.

- Nice to meet you.

- Tess.

- Tess.

Don't even think about it.

- What?

- Don't "what" me. You know what.

It's weird, right?

- What?

- This.

Us, together.

It's complex, but not in a good way.

Well, can I just say

I really wish we were still married?

No.

Oh, my God, listen to this.

Listen. "That we are by no means...

...the first Europeans to visit here...

...is finally proven

by the discovery of a Spanish gravestone...

...that of a woman.

I cannot but wonder who she was...

...and how she came to die here,

for the headstone reads simply...

...'Aurelia, 1715."'

Holy sh*t.

"Forsake her I could not.

And so it was here,

on this beautiful hilltop...

...that I resolved to bury our own dead...

...and begin work building a church. "

He marked it with a headstone.

And this guy built a church around it.

- It's in the cemetery.

- It's in the cemetery.

- Finn.

- Mm-hm.

Oh...

- No, come on.

- Here we go.

Oh, sh*t, I got you.

Mm-hm.

Anything?

It's not here.

I refuse to believe that.

Well, just because you refuse to

believe something doesn't make it true.

Or false.

Or whatever the hell I'm saying.

Something wrong, Tess?

Something wrong?

Why would anything be wrong?

We just had sex in a church

and we're not even married...

...and now we're gonna dig up a grave.

What is that, like a triple sin?

I can't believe we haven't been

struck by lightning. Oh!

- Ow.

- Oh, sh*t, you okay?

Stupid rock.

That's the second time I've done that.

Okay, we can't have that.

Come here, you rock. Stupid rock.

Wait, stop.

Oh... Honey, it's heavy.

So is this.

Finn? Finn?

Finn.

- What?

- What if it's a body?

Well, then he was a midget

with very cheap relatives.

- What if it's a head?

- Do you mind?

Oh, my God.

It's his.

"To my everlasting relief...

...and after a year's toil

in this lonely place...

...have I finally stumbled upon

a suitable place...

...for my cargo...

...fortified by nature

against the encroachments...

...accidental or deliberate...

...even of those who would force

our tongues to betray its trust.

The low December tide showed us

the only way in and the only way out.

But from January to November...

...the beached whale's spout

is both ingress or egress.

Thus is the vault rendered,

made virtually impenetrable. "

The beached whale's spout?

Are you sure?

Yeah.

It's a blowhole.

It's the one at Clifton Point.

- The low December tide drops so low...

- The winter solstice.

The lowest tide of the year

exposes the mouth of the blowhole...

...which is normally

under 15 to 20 feet of water.

Two days out of the year it's a cave.

They float the chests in, the tide returns...

...then the place becomes a deathtrap.

Did we just find our treasure?

Sound like it.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Finnegan.

Hey, Bunny.

What the hell are you doing here?

- Give me the book.

- Come on, Bunny.

I mean, are you sure you don't wanna,

you know, give it to the new guy?

What you think you're gonna

do with that, huh?

Hey, you better put the damn shovel...

Hey, hey, hey, look, you know,

I don't want no trouble.

Get me out the hole!

Get him, baby, get him.

Finn!

Where you...? What you...? Grab him.

Come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, go, go, go.

Hey. Hey...

Get after them, damn it.

Hang on.

Cyrus, my bike. Hey, you.

Are you shot?

- What?

- Shot? You?

- No. Are you shot?

- No, not yet.

We got the book, Cyrus.

Finn!

I got you, Tess!

- Duck!

- What? Ugh!

- Finn!

- Uh-oh.

Finn. No.

No. Finn. Oh, my...

Finn.

Let's go.

You sure he's dead? I've been

disappointed a lot of times before.

I should've aimed at your head,

you little son of a b*tch.

I'm gonna tell you what.

I'm gonna have my boys submit your theory

to a little academic review...

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