Fred Won't Move Out Page #4

---

two floors below her

a week after

she goes in.

You've got to

believe me.

Actually, you

know something,

because I do a lot of

work in these facilities,

it's just a keyboard

and a stand.

I'll just bring it

into the facility.

Well, I'm not sure

what the facility's

policies are about

that sort of thing,

It's... it's done

all the time.

- Is it?

- I assure you.

Well, I'll certainly be

happy to research it

and give you

the answer.

We could certainly

give it a try.

Okay, all right!

Fair enough.

In the meantime, I just

wanted to give you this,

just sort of a

little thank you.

But just to say

our extra thanks.

- Thanks!

- My pleasure!

Oh, by the way,

I downloaded ten minutes

of the film of yours

the other day

on my cellphone.

No kidding! Which one?

It's that clown thing.

That's a comedy,

I think, right?

Well, thank you

for everything!

I appreciate it!

Okay.

Think about

what I said, okay?

I sure will.

Okay.

Hava Nagila Hava

Nagila Hava...

So how did

he take it?

Well, it

wasn't great,

but he will

be all right.

I need a jump.

A jump?

A jump.

That guy shows

up one more time

I'm going to have to put

a stake through his heart.

Hey, isn't this where

mom's frog pond used to be?

Oh yeah.

I guess they covered it

over after mom got sick.

You know, it used

to be just a fountain

and then this

frog showed up.

I wonder if

mom kissed it.

I mean, that's

how she met Fred.

Come on.

Let's go get Susan.

Nice night, huh?

Here you go.

- Captain?

- Yeah?

- Want to play catch?

- Yeah.

- Go ahead.

- Okay.

Wait for me.

Do I have to?

Dad, can I get

you something?

No.

You want to go outside;

I can get your cane?

I don't use a cane.

All right! Do you

want to go outside?

Fred, have you paid

your taxes yet?

No.

Why?

I don't owe anything.

Nice!

I got it!

I got it with one hand.

What?

Come on, throw the ball.

Look, come here,

let show you something.

See those two trees?

Yeah.

You know who Zeus

and Hermes were, right?

They were Greek Gods.

That's right.

Back in the olden days

Zeus and Hermes heard

weren't acting the way

they wanted them to.

They weren't

being nice

and friendly

to the others.

They weren't acting with

what the Greeks called xenia,

which means

like hospitality.

So they decided to

check it out themselves.

So they got dressed

up in costumes

and pretended to

be ordinary people.

So they went walking

around among the Greeks

trying to find somebody

who would be nice to them

who would let them stay at

their house for the night.

They couldn't find

anybody to do that.

And finally they found

this one poor old couple.

They were called

Philemon and Baucis.

Would let them stay

over at their house.

In the morning Zeus and

Hermes were so happy

they told Philemon

and Baucis

they could

have one wish.

What did they wish for?

They wished

that they would die

together at the same time

so that neither one would have

to go on without the other.

You know what

the Gods did?

They turned them into two big

oak trees standing together,

just like that.

They went on

like that forever.

So what really

happens after you die?

You and me and mommy

and grandma and grandpa

but, uh, I don't know.

Look after grandma. I'm going

to get some stuff, all right?

All right!

You don't mind if I

leave you in Lila's care

for a minute, do you?

Okay.

Captain!

Over here!

We gotta motor!

It's time to say goodbye.

Coming!

Come on!

Fred, are you okay?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Is everything all right?

Stop bothering me.

Good morning, Fred!

Good morning!

Hold on, let me get

that coffee for you!

No, no, no, I'll get it.

No, I got it.

Just sit.

You know,

your son and

daughter, Carol, Bob,

they're coming today?

Are they

bringing the boys

and the Captain

with them?

No, they're coming to help

you pack up your things

and, you know,

move you into the city.

Why am I going

to the city?

You agreed that

it was for the best.

Best for what?

For you.

I wouldn't ever speculate

about the future,

not when it has to do with

where I'm going to live.

That wouldn't make

sense, would it?

Yes, but you agreed.

Well, who would be here

when Susan gets back?

Fred, you know

they love you, right?

I love them.

I know that you do, Fred.

How's your husband?

He's fine.

How did Ghana do?

They lost.

I'm sorry.

Was it a close game?

You know what, I don't

want to talk about that.

I know how you feel.

Really?

Yes, I think I do,

Queen Victoria.

You know, you really

should be with Susan.

She doesn't even know

who I am anymore.

Yes, but if she sees you

then she'll know who you are.

In this I think that

your children are right.

You know, Carol,

she told me this

story about you.

She told me that

when they were younger

you used to take

the three of them

into town on Saturdays

to the supermarket.

- She told you?

- Yeah.

I mean, who else

would tell me?

She said that, uh, you did it

to give, uh, Susan a break.

- She remembered?

- Uh-huh.

You see, that's

what I'm saying,

your children,

they love you.

That's very sweet.

Uh-huh.

Hi dad!

Hello Robert!

Well,

time to get

ready to go.

We came today so we

could help you decide

whatever it is you want

to take so you can be,

you know, comfortable

in the new place.

Didn't you bring the

boys or the Captain?

No, we didn't think the, uh,

the timing

was right for that.

I'm not going.

Dad, look, nobody is saying you

have to go today, all right?

I'd like you to try

and think of us

as your family/image

consultants.

In other words, we're

going to help you decide

what of your possessions

you want to take with you

so that you can keep

the same sort of, uh,

public persona you've always

had there when you

when you... when

you're in your new place.

Nobody is saying you

have to leave today,

but the thing is you have

to understand that in two days,

you really do have to

get ready to go.

Once I shared space with

a public relations firm,

they were sort of

sleazy characters

and they did quite a bit of

business with prostitutes.

They offered me a key.

The government shut them down

for not paying their taxes.

This is

condescending bullshit!

Always, dad,

will you listen?

- Bob!

- Same bullshit again and again

I want you to take

a break, okay?

Drive into town,

go do some shopping,

come back in

like a half hour.

You know what?

You are a stubborn old man.

You're getting like a child.

No, I'm serious.

You have to deal

with what is.

I'm sorry. I'm just

getting tired of this.

These are all yours.

No, just go.

All right! Okay.

Excuse me.

Don't use the front door.

The melon is sweet.

Dad, I...

you know, I can

really understand why

why you want

to stay here.

Freddie, you

know you could, uh,

you can always

get me back.

There is no everything,

just this place,

and I want to stay here.

Yeah, I know, I know,

but why don't you just give

this other thing a try?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes