French Cancan

THIS STORY AND ITS CHARACTERS

ARE IMAGINARY.

THEY SHOULD NOT BE SEEN TO

REPRESENT REAL PEOPLE OR EVENTS.

DANGLARD'S THE CHINESE SCREEN

PRESENTS LA BELLE ABBESSE

Come see me in the Casbah!

Not too nervous?

Looks like a rough crowd,

Monsieur Danglard.

I'd sooner enter a cage of tigers.

You have to tame them,

or they'll eat you alive.

Hide your fear

and they'll eat out of your hand.

That's easy to say.

I was born at Sidi Bel Abbes

in the land of beautiful women

My mother was a princess,

and my father said, "Caramba!"

Don't tell me you'd rather

go back to house painting.

I'm sure you're a great whistler.

When I heard you on your ladder,

I knew I could use you.

- Really?

- I'm telling you.

- Will you be in the audience?

- Don't worry. I'll be watching you.

You're doing very nicely.

Evening.

Go ahead, sweetheart.

There he is!

Is this where the fillies weigh in?

How about taking me on as a jockey?

You're too heavy.

They're over there.

Captain, is the country prepared?

All I need say is, lances

have been restored to the cavalry.

How about Russian railway shares?

Hopeless.

Muzhiks walk everywhere.

- What do you say, Coudrier?

- Once I leave my office, "Curtains!"

Incidentally, have you heard

that Konakri has voted a subsidy?

We'll discuss it tomorrow.

Slaves!

Yes, Monsieur Coudrier.

Bring me hookah, hashish

and the navel of La Belle Abbesse.

The paradise of Mahomet,

my dear chap.

Jealous, my friend?

- Like a tiger.

Good evening, my dear prince.

Come to share our worries?

I would greatly like to have worries.

Do I dare ask him to pay my rent?

I'm off to the White Queen.

Who loves me, follows me.

- Montmartre? That's dangerous.

- Exactly.

Where's Montmartre?

Where you were born.

Come.

- Strange idea.

We're going to see

the little ladies!

Inspector, the big fish

don't come here now.

They don't trust me.

Neither do we.

We're watching you.

What a life!

If only I could sell and retire.

Excuse me, Inspector.

Monsieur Danglard, what an honor!

- Scram!

- Hands off the merchandise!

You'll be comfortable here.

What will you have?

- Only champagne for me.

- The lady will have red wine.

It's on the house.

Cherries in brandy for everyone.

- Yes, boss.

What do those stuffed shirts want here?

They're slumming, for thrills.

- She's nice, that little one.

- Which one?

They're wild!

Didn't our grandmothers

call this the cancan?

No, the chahut.

Land values are rising here.

You're enterprising.

You'd do well here.

With a clientele like this?

What do you think, Walter?

- I'm just your backer.

- And profit taker.

On occasion.

Ideas are his department.

Alas, I can't afford

to back them myself.

Know what I mean?

- Let's dance.

My little pet!

Don't be put off by appearances.

The White Queen is good business.

Ladies?

- Shall we?

- Let's relive our youth!

But ladies!

You like the cancan?

Better than working in the laundry.

You seem upset, pretty lady.

Not at all.

I'm enjoying myself enormously.

Do you waltz?

Waltzing with another man?

Our friend Danglard

is straying again,

which means our distraught beauty will

seek consolation in Papa Walter's arms.

Come.

You don't care about me.

- He dances so well.

- Do I dance so badly?

That's different. I love you.

You've got a gold mine there.

To dance like that,

he must be a duke.

Or an artist.

- Did you make a date?

- That's enough!

Think what you will, Bidon,

but what little money I have,

I earn honestly.

We'll go somewhere else

on Saturday, Nini.

You don't look too happy.

Coming, my dear?

I'm going home.

Are you coming, Zizi?

You'll exhaust my patience in the end.

Come home with me.

I take orders from no one.

But we are ever at your command.

Come. We'll find

a carriage further along.

Very well.

- You're not angry?

- Of course not.

What do you see in that girl?

Everything and nothing.

She dances like a goddess, that's all.

You said that when you met me.

But I'll never tell her.

I don't even know her name.

- Really?

- I swear.

Don't think I'm jealous.

On the contrary.

At least admit

that I'm not jealous, either.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Baron Walter and the others.

Zizi, darling,

that's completely different.

Yes?

It's the bailiff, boss.

A visitor, darling?

Yes, a little social call.

Here.

Can you pay?

Just a moment.

A drop in the ocean.

There ought to be 500 louis

in the till of the Chinese Screen.

Perhaps there's a little something

tucked away here.

Here you go.

That's hardly enough.

I regret that I must give you

this summons

and commence an inventory

of your possessions.

They're arresting you? Why?

- Worse than arrest.

- What is it?

Our friend Baron Walter

is out for my skin.

And you're going to let him have it?

He brought up my mortgages.

I can't fight this paper.

Is that all the trouble?

I must place it directly in the hands

of the person concerned.

Vixen!

Now it's in the hands of

"the person concerned."

I shall leave my clerk

to make the inventory.

General Boulanger calls on me often.

I'll remember you

when he's in power.

You're tilting against windmills.

They've no end of such bits of paper.

- Are you unhappy?

- Not with you at my side.

If you wish, I'll give up

everything for you.

Can you see yourself living

in a cottage on bread and love?

I don't need much.

In the big fireplace we could roast

the wild boar you'd kill in the hunt.

We'd have a very ancient cook

and a terribly young servant girl

to do the cleaning.

Sounds like

a perfectly balanced bill.

Now get dressed, darling.

I will.

But Walter will pay for this!

Is this really the horn used in

Emilienne de Passy's famous number?

She sounded like

the English queen herself.

I found her

on the rue Mouffetard.

You know, I'm a bit of an artiste myself

in my spare time.

I sing, I dance.

My friends all call me

Serpentine Casimir.

Couldn't you give me a chance

at the Chinese Screen?

I'd drop everything else in a flash.

Watch what I can do.

I see.

But is the Chinese Screen still mine?

Zizi, help me.

You've got a good job, Casimir.

Keep it.

The theater isn't a living.

Art, audiences, applause -

that's all very nice,

but you're always at the mercy

of the man with the money.

He twists your arm

whenever he pleases.

Tighter!

Slaves - that's what we are.

If I had a son,

I'd make him a civil servant.

Anything with a pension.

Maybe, but the stage is in my blood.

From now on, I'm your man.

Well, poor Casimir, you've got

a lovely future ahead of you.

I've seen some changes in the

neighborhood, sir, I can tell you.

All our customers used to be locals,

but last night we even had

a grand duke.

A grand duke?

Careful!

You'll drown your absinthe.

He wanted champagne,

but he got absinthe like everyone else.

He even tipped me a louis.

Only the White Queen doesn't change.

- Waiter.

- Sir?

Who's the guy

you were with last night?

He won't set me up in a palace.

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