Friends: The Stuff You've Never Seen Page #2

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- What is it?

- "You're part Jewish."

Oh, yeah.

- So don't take any food.

- Man, I know all of his lines.

- Yeah, you do.

- All right, let's go.

- I used to love to play restaurant.

- Not as much as you loved to play...

- You know, I can't do it.

- I understand that feeling so well.

He cannot play our wedding.

Everyone will leave.

It'll be like when he rapped

at my butt mitsvah.

Your "butt mitsvah"?

Again? I got it, Rach, okay?

Let's start sailing.

And I want to go over there

to that boatload of girls.

Oh, okay, is that what you want to do?

I don't want to go:

I'll tell you that much.

Look, Chandler, I told you,

don't tell anyone about this dog thing.

- Okay, now let's...

- It's like... I'm not finished.

Oh, well, it... It sounds...

- Don't go...

- I won't.

- Sounds to me.

- I won't. I will not.

Okay, where do you think she'll be?

Where can we find her?

- I don't know, maybe in the city.

- Yeah, yeah. Where...?

Maybe she's up in Greenwich Village.

Okay, look, I didn't read the box

before I opened the box.

You can't send the box back

before you've opened the box.

- That's not right.

- I bought it.

I didn't read the box

before I opened the box.

You can't send the box back

once you open the box!

Come on.

That's right, because I'm a Tribbiani...

...and this is what we do.

Okay, we may not be great thinkers...

...or world leaders, or, or...

We may not be able to remember

what we're supposed to say.

- Oh, I'm sorry, we have to do that again.

- How could I have done that wrong?

Sometimes you can do everything right.

Everyone can wear everything... Okay.

- Read your script.

- Hush.

I knew it. I knew I wasn't crazy.

- Oh, poor Ross.

- I know.

Sorry.

Sorry.

- All right, ready.

- Have you ever seen this show?

What? I've kept all of our secrets.

I'm an excellent sepret-keeper...

What? I'm an excellent secret-keeper.

I've kept all of our secrets.

What secrets?

Ross, doesn't Ben go

to Smithfield Day School?

Yeah, wh...?

You go there too?

- You knew that was gonna happen.

- Oh, and Sherry's my... Sherry.

Wait, this shouldn't be that funny.

Hey, hey.

Action.

- Let's go. What happened?

- Everything's fine.

- What happened?

- I don't know.

- How do you know that wasn't a choice?

- Is everything okay?

Everything's fine.

How do I get into it?

It was something called

Braxton Hicks contractions.

Oh, thank God.

I don't remember the line.

"Oh, thank God," what is it?

When you beeped me...

...I was online at the concession stand

at the movie theater.

You just suck.

What happened to you?

You used to be able to act.

I know. I don't know what happened.

You were so good.

Oh, God, Chandler's

making his sex face.

Oh, God, Chandler

is doing his sex face.

Just for now, don't make any faces.

Oh, God, Chandler

is doing his sex face.

Never gonna happen.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Whoa, one hand on the sheet, Joe.

- Oh, sorry, got you.

- You saw it, didn't you?

- I saw it.

Okay, this is it, this is it.

This is my big fight scene coming up.

Jesus.

Apparently, it's about a girl

who moves to the... Okay.

I'm naked.

- Well, what's he like?

- Well, he's tall.

- Sure.

- He's got brown hair.

A tall guy with hair similar to mine.

Oh, unknowable universe.

- He works with food.

- Oh, yeah, yeah... Oh, God.

- I know.

- What happened?

You're thrown off by the hundreds of

people not laughing at what I just said.

You can commit,

and it still doesn't matter.

I'm a headhunter.

I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists

with rogue third-world fam... Families?

- No.

- Let's go back.

- All right, how about you, Chandler?

- Well, Joe, I'm a headhunter.

I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists

with rogue Soviet nations.

I have problems

with the King's English.

- How about you, Chandler?

- Well, Joey, I'm a headhunter.

I hook up out-of-work Soviet...

It was his voice. His voice.

Chandler?

How about you, Chandler?

- That's not even the hard line.

- Yeah.

- Action.

- How about you, Chandler?

Well, Joey, I'm a headhunter.

I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists

with rogue third-world nations.

Excellent. Oh, sh*t.

It'll be weird and awkward, but you

just got to... You have to... Oh, God.

Let's just keep going.

You've just at least got to try.

That's not useable. You can't do that.

You have to be serious.

Will's in town on business,

and he doesn't have anywhere to go.

I'll just hold this. And...

Take it from the restaurant.

I was perfect until then.

I don't know why we have to go

back and try everything so...

- I don't want to. I don't want to do it...

- Okay. All right. It's good.

Here we go.

I don't want to do it again now.

The word "bouillabaisse" sounds

like a ringing in my ears.

Just don't make me do it again.

- Well, then use take one. Stop.

- What?

Here we go. Here we go. Stand by.

- I don't know. Let me see it then.

- Just take...

Oh, like you didn't mess up

12 times just a second ago.

Yeah, man.

Okay, here's the extras:

Handcuffs, spanking...

Maybe...

- Do, "No, no."

- No, that'll make us laugh.

- No, no, do it.

- Okay.

No, no!

- You were right.

- I was right.

- All right, do it.

- No, no.

Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you.

What are you looking at over there?

I'm right here.

Hey.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Action.

Thank you.

What?

- How much do you have that's good?

- None.

None of it? Okay.

What?

- And I like you as a friend.

- All right.

- See you later.

- See you.

Jack-off.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Where's Mon?

- Wow, you took a long time to do that.

- You're right in front of the camera.

- I am?

Yeah.

Trying to get in the show.

- And I would like for them to bond.

- Okay, fine. But I don't want them...

Start over, Jenny. You had

a really bad shadow on you.

- Where am I?

- I'll clear you.

- Thanks.

- Action.

Hey, so I was thinking, if it's okay...

What happened to her marrying Connor?

I mean, that's... Right, right.

- Real life's more important.

- And action.

Do...?

I'm so sorry, I thought

we were already acting.

What?

The audience is like,

"Emmy Award winning?"

Well, if you want,

I could loan you some money.

No?

It's all this laughing

that's getting in the way.

Man with eye patch. Now, you get

in there, and you do your job.

- Are you kidding me?

- I'm sorry.

- Action.

- She carries that tray to the doctor...

...because if she doesn't, people die.

Oh, no.

Can't we do it this way?

Divide the groups

into six groups of 40...

...and the remaining 10

is counted by whoever has not...

Here we go. We need

to sort through the tickets...

...as quickly as possible to see...

- Breathe when you say that.

- Take a breath, babe.

- Okay.

- No.

I know, it hurts.

Being stood up has left a cr...

- Action.

- I know, it hurts.

Being stood up...

- You're not even looking at me.

- I can't look at him.

Sorry, okay, okay. We're good,

we're good. Ready.

Action.

Okay.

The saltshaker... No.

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