George Carlin: Doin' It Again Page #7
- Year:
- 1990
- 60 min
- 599 Views
part of it to us, do they?
Never mention
that part of it.
Some of this stuff is just
silly, we all know that.
Like on the airlines,
they say they
want to pre board.
Well, what the
hell is pre board,
what does that mean?
To get on before you get on?
They say they're going to
pre board those passengers
in need of
special assistance.
Cripples.
Simple, honest,
direct language.
There's no shame
attached to the word cripple
that I can find
in any dictionary,
no shame attached to it.
In fact it's a word used
in Bible translations,
Jesus healed the cripples.
Doesn't take seven words
to describe that condition.
But we don't
have any cripples
in this country any more.
We have the
physically challenged.
Is that a grotesque
enough evasion for you?
How about differently abled?
I've heard them called that,
differently abled.
You can't even call these
people handicapped anymore.
They'll say,
we're not handicapped,
we're handy capable.
These poor people have been
bullshitted by the system
into believing that if you
change the name of the condition,
somehow you'll
change the condition.
Well, hey cousin
doesn't happen.
Doesn't happen.
We have no more deaf
people in this country,
hearing impaired.
No one's blind any more,
partially sighted
or visually impaired.
We have no more
stupid people.
Everybody has a
learning disorder,
or he's minimally exceptional.
How would you like to be
told that about your child,
he's minimally exceptional.
Oh, thank God for that.
Psychologists actually have
started calling ugly people
those with severe
appearance deficits.
It's getting so
bad that any day now
I expect to hear a rape victim
referred to as an
unwilling sperm recipient.
And we have no more old
people in this country,
no more old people.
We shipped them all away,
and we brought in
these senior citizens.
Isn't that a
typically American
20th Century phrase?
Bloodless, lifeless.
No pulse in one of them.
A senior citizen.
And I've accepted that one,
I've come to terms with it,
I know it's here to stay.
We'll never get rid of it,
that's what they're
going to be called,
so I'll relax on that.
But the one I do resist,
the one I keep resisting,
is when they look at an
old guy, and they say,
look at him, Dan,
he's 90 years young.
Imagine the fear of
aging that reveals,
to not even be able
to use the word old
to describe someone,
to have to use an antonym.
And fear of
aging is natural,
it's universal isn't it.
We all have that.
No one wants to get old,
no one wants to die,
but we do.
So we bullshit ourselves.
I started
bullshitting myself
when I got to my 40's.
Soon as I was in my 40's
I'd look in the
mirror and I'd say,
well, I guess
I'm getting older.
Older sounds a little
better than old, doesn't it.
Sounds like it might
even last a little longer.
Bullshit, I'm getting old,
and it's okay,
because thanks to our fear
of death in this country
I won't have to die.
I'll pass away.
Or I'll expire like a
magazine subscription.
If it happens
in the hospital,
they'll call it
a terminal episode.
The insurance company
will refer to it
as negative
patient care outcome,
and if it's the
result of malpractice,
they'll say it was a
therapeutic misadventure.
I'm telling you,
some of this language
makes me want to vomit.
Well, maybe not vomit,
makes me want to engage
in an involuntary
personal protein spill.
Thank you all.
Give me a little
light for Moe.
Moe says hello.
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