Get on the Bus

- What?

- Yo, dog, I ain't going.

I'm getting on that bus.

Now that means

you are getting on that bus.

We look stupid!

Oh, now you want to be

all embarrassed.

You should've

thought about that before.

- Dog, I ain't going.

- Call me "dog" again...

...and see if I don't knock you

flat on your ass.

Now, I'm getting on that bus and you

are going right along with me.

I am your father.

You are my son.

So let's get on the bus, okay?

Walk.

Gary...

...stop looking at me like that.

Shelly, are we cool...?

No, we're not cool,

and we're not finished either.

You'll feed Kaya for me?

I'll feed him, walk him and watch him

crap! I'm looking forward to it.

You make it sound like I'm

running off with another woman.

You expect me to get moist like

you're doing something incredible?

This whole thing is sexist

and exclusionary.

- Exclusionary?

- Yes!

How would you feel if the march

was only for dark-skinned brothers?

How can Farrakhan call a march

for dark-skinned brothers...

...when Farrakhan's about your

complexion, with straight hair?

- Fine!

- Gonna kiss me? Kiss me goodbye?

Gary, I'm late for work.

I love you anyway.

Don't forget to watch CNN.

We're not done talking.

- I know we're not.

- Gary.

I'll call you when

we get to Arkansas.

- Okay.

- How you doing today?

Looks like the brothers

are boarding.

Welcome aboard, welcome aboard.

I'd have hated

being on your plantation.

Runaway slave wouldn't have

stood a chance against you.

Court order says I have to keep my son

tethered for 72 hours.

But it's cool.

We're working it out, right, Evan?

All right.

Welcome aboard the Spotted Owl.

All right, go on.

We're ready to ride into history.

Step right up on in.

Come on. Anybody else going to the

Million Man March, get on the bus!

- How you feeling?

- Okay, Pop. You?

Never felt better in my life!

Then give me some of what you got.

How you doing?

Welcome aboard the Spotted Owl.

Black power, brothers!

Black power.

- Black power.

- Black power.

Black power.

Sounds like he's stuck in the '60s.

- Got it?

- Yeah, I got it, thank you.

Thank you very much.

My name...

...is Jeremiah Washington.

- Jamal.

- Glad to meet you, Jamal.

- Not much legroom, is there?

- No.

I'll have to stretch these bones

every chance I get.

Ain't that the truth?

Them fools back at the barbershop...

...they asked me what I hoped to

accomplish by going to the march.

These black men, nagging at me.

- What'd you say?

- I said I'd be first in line...

...at the revolution

while they'd be bringing up the rear.

And by the time I return

from Washington...

...my behind's gonna be

20 years younger.

- Fountain of youth, huh?

- Oh, yeah.

The Miracle at the Mall,

that's what I'm looking for.

And that's what I'll get.

Craig, how's it going?

- Let's roll it.

- We ready to roll, peoples.

If you're going to the Slauson

swap meet, the Brentwood mansion...

...or the La Brea Tar Pits,

your black ass is on the wrong bus.

This bad boy is going

to Washington, DC...

...for the Million Man March!

- I'm George, this is Craig.

- Say, fellas.

We'll get you to and from the march

safely, in six days.

- We hope.

- There are some rules we must observe.

One, and this is for you, Pop.

No drinking alcohol

while on this bus.

Two, no smoking.

And three...

...most important, and this

I ain't bullshitting about...

...no using or possessing

illegal substances.

There's a bathroom in the back.

I trust that none of you men

are women.

If you are, you're some of the

ugliest broads I ever seen in my life.

Flush the toilet after you use it.

Try not to piss on the seat.

You two gonna have

a problem with that.

He sounds like my mother.

For the next six days, I am your mother.

Don't make me use my belt.

Mr. Driver?

With your permission, sir,

I think we ought to ask...

...that the Creator

should travel with us.

I got no problem with that.

- Any objections?

- No, sir.

The floor is yours, Pop.

Bow your heads, brothers.

Father God...

...we come to you as pilgrims on a bus

that's bound for glory.

We're not perfect, Lord,

but we seek perfection.

We're not guilt-free,

but we ask for your forgiveness.

We know you was with Moses

when he parted the Red Sea...

...and freed the slaves.

We know you was with Noah...

...when the rain came down

40 days and 40 nights.

You was with Malcolm in Mecca...

...with Martin when he went

to the mountaintop.

And we're asking you, dear God,

to be with us now...

...on this historic journey

to fellowship...

...with 1 million black men.

And if there's anything, O Lord,

that we need and we pray for...

Hot damn! Thought y'all was

gonna jet without a brother!

My horoscope said the moon

was aligned for me.

Hey, we're in the middle

of a prayer here.

Oh, oh, my bad.

Y'all go ahead.

And if anything, dear Lord,

that we do need and pray for...

...is that after this trip...

...each and every one of us will

be a better man than he was before.

- Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

- Amen.

You got a ticket?

You better have a ticket.

I made the bus.

- What's up?

- Hey, Ben Vereen!

Ben Vereen's not on the bus.

Let me ask you...

...what would a bus trip be

without James Brown?

- Booty!

- Like O.J. Without a white girl.

Be a sorry-ass trip.

That's all I needed to hear!

Hit me, Craig!

Oh, sh*t!

Y'all ready for this here?

Hey.

Hey.

What's up, dog?

I done told you about that "dog" sh*t.

Don't let me have to take care of you

out here in front of these brothers.

Now turn that mess down.

It's too loud, Junior.

Let me ask you...

...you don't like to be

called "dog," right?

Well, you know, "Dad"...

..."Daddy"...

..."sir" would be nice.

Take your pick.

Then I should have the right

not to be called "Junior."

That's cool. That's cool.

What do you like? Evan?

Hell, no!

Then what?

"Smooth."

My homies call me Smooth.

Your homies call you Smooth.

I ain't your homie, okay?

You must be out your damn mind.

Ain't no way

I'm calling my son Smooth.

All of a sudden, I'm your son again?

But I'm the one out his damn mind?

You're a Bruins fan, huh?

Yeah, 1995 NCAA champs.

Can't argue with that.

You down with the Bruins?

I went to SC.

Flip Carter. What's happening?

X.

X? Like in, what,

"X marks the spot"?

No, just X.

I've heard some trippy names

in my life:
Ezekial, Cadillac...

...even a brother named Porcupine.

But even if she's in labour

with a bottle in one hand...

...a big fat blunt in the other...

...no mother would name her son

a letter of the alphabet.

You're saying your mama

named you Flip?

Phillip. Flip's my stage name.

I'm what you call a thespian.

Okay.

- My real name's Xavier.

- Xavier.

- Xavier Moore.

- That I can get with.

- What up, black?

- What's happening?

I'm doing well. I made the bus.

It's all good now.

Had trouble waking up?

Please, I get up with the roosters.

I had an early audition.

- You a singer or something?

- I'm an actor.

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