Get The Gringo

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- Get the Gringo (2012)

- IMDB #1567609

- fps = 23.976

- Length = 1:
35.59

- First line = 55,769 Last line = 1:28:03,458

- Created by DonToribio (Subscence.Com moniker)

- May 2012

- I need a doctor!

- I'll get you a vet, you son of a b*tch!

You should have shot him first.

We have two clowns headed south

on Route 51 and 4 miles from the border.

And stop bleedin' on the money!

All units be advised: suspects

are armed and are dangerous.

What the f***...

Well, hello, boys and girls.

There's nothing worse than a sad clown.

Unless it's a clown bleeding internally,

and coughing it all over your money.

Well, I suppose a summer vacation with a big haul

south of the border was out of the question now.

But like my old mother always told me

F*** off, Loser!

Damn!

- Holy sh*t!

- The circus came to town!

- Vasquez...tell you what, we'll take care of this.

- You better! You know the paperwork involved.

- We'll say they landed on your side, okay?

- No problemo.

Commander.

- We might have to book them ourselves.

- Bullshit!

These are our prisoners, Vasquez.

Not the way I see it, Bill,

they're on Mexican soil.

You're a piece of sh*t, Vasquez!

There's no way you're takin' these clowns!

You're not in a position to bargain.

I paid for our little arrangement every

second Tuesday of the month, to...

F*** you, Vasquez, you thinkin' about

blowin' the whistle on me or something, huh?

Yeah! If I need to.

- Is that a threat, Cabrn?

- Look. you're corrupt, we're corrupt.

There is one difference...

we are honest about it.

You'd best bury them in that god damned I don't

give a f*** slap on the wrist beaner system in your...

You win, Bill, you won't be hearing from them again.

Hey! What did they do?

Rob a bank?

You figure it out, Genius!

Come.

- What's your name?

- I'm Bozo, he's Frosty with a...

- What's your name?

- Howard? Dennis?

Ah! F***!

Ruben?

Don't worry, we'll give him a nice burial,

relieve you of your money troubles

and find you a nice place.

You'll be happy there.

Ah! Prison!

I lucked out,

it coulda been a hole in the desert.

And since I didn't have any cash,

I guess they were forced to charge me.

God only knew where my cash was,

but at least I knew who had it.

That's been playing for six f***ing hours.

Tortured by the Mariachi.

Ah, what's this?

Oh! Inmates with guns...

now that's kinda new.

I got a lot to learn about this place.

Dancing with the Stars...

I see.

Get your mind right, soften you up in a whole

new cell with loud music, deprive you of sleep.

Oh, well, I guess I was gonna have

to take my lumps sooner or later.

- Shoes?

- Huh? Yeah?

The shoes, dick-head!

You look like you have really small feet

and these are size 11.

Ah! F***in' ouch!

Jack, you work too hard.

The consulate is closed.

I just came to pick up the files.

I think you may be forgetting to report an

American citizen, that's a serious offense, Armando.

Honest mistake, Jack.

Come see me tomorrow,

we'll sort it out.

Oh, boy!

5000 songs or so later

we were let out of the holding cell.

and transferred to the

general prison populace.

Now, I've been in the joint before,

but this was kinda different.

Is this a prison or

the world's shittiest mall?

If I was gonna survive in this place,

it was time to do what I was good at.

Anyway...

I was outta cigarettes.

Holy Rolex!

Sh*t!

Thank you.

Well, it was bed time at El Pueblito. It looked

like all the good pieces of dirt were taken.

Ya know, ya gotta love

murderers for recycling.

This is going to pinch on you.

Somebody was running this place...

and it wasn't the Warden.

Now he looks like Somebody...

people showin' him respect.

Yeah, he's Somebody...

he's yellin' at people.

Though the little guy in

the Bad-Taste clothes is

working for 'im, because he's

making his life miserable.

And the... Wait a minute!. 12 o'clock!

Guy in a bathrobe, in the Penthouse.

Well, he must be El Hefner!

No, no! Those two guys

are both working for him.

He doesn't even have to get dressed

and he's making BOTH their lives miserable.

We need a bathrobe like that!

I had to improve my social standing around here.

It was simple, really.

Two bits bought you a day off work

so you could focus on doing a real job.

Need some heroin?

Make tracks to the Smack Shack,

where business was always booming.

You got a cigarette?

Yeah.

Can I have one?

How old are you, Kid?

- 18!

- Get lost!

- I'm 10, can I have one now?

- No!

You probably want me to keep my mouth shut.

When Manolo's taco stand caught on fire,

and Rodrigo, the doctor,

says there's some misplaced cash,

- when I talk, the sh*t's really gonna hit the fan.

- Cigarette?

Light?

- So, you're a Watcher?

- You learn a lot from watching.

- What are you in here for?

- Very funny!

- I'm only 10, Man, my father was a dealer.

- He was?

Yeah, I live here with my mom.

You speak pretty good English,

Kid, where did ya learn.

Sesame Street?

What's with all the school kids

goin' back and forth all the time?

If you're not a inmate,

you're free to go in and out.

- What! They live here?

- Yeah!

If you have money, you can pay

to have your family come live with you.

- While you're serving time.

- That's a new one!

- How come you don't go to school?

- I'm special.

Yeah! How ya special?

Most Gringos are in worse shape

after a few days in El Pueblito.

- Some vacation, huh?

- I bet you'd like one of these.

- Oh! Would I!

- Oh, yeah!

Well, your...your file doesn't have a name,

do you have a name?

Yes, Richard Johnson.

Dick Johnson, huh?

It's unfortunate.

Anybody I can contact for you, Dick?

Wife, sweetheart,

- No!

- boyfriend?

- No.

- I didn't think so.

Says here you were caught buying valium in

a drugstore downtown without a prescription.

That doesn't quite fit...

What're you doing in here?

You're right, it doesn't fit, that is bullshit.

They're making this up!

Two cops gotta hold of me...

they rolled me and then I ended up in here.

- You gotta get me outta here.

- Just misunderstood, huh?

Yes! That's right.

You don't have any fingerprints.

A guy who burns off his fingerprints

is a career man, even I know that much.

- Are you gonna get me out of here or not?

- Seems to me somebody's trying to bury you in here.

No sh*t. Sherlock!

What do YOU want?

I mean, maybe I can help YOU?

Like I said, I can't help you without any

information...You're not giving me any information!

You spring me outta here, I'll give you plenty!

You know, it's...it's a lot easier to end

up dead in here, than to survive ...

A Gringo without money in

a South-of-the-Border jail.

Nah! It's not so bad...you know.

At least it's a shithole.

All right! You're not gonna tell me.

That's all right! That's fine! I can respect that!

But I will find the truth out for myself, ya know.

I know even a blind pig

has to find and acorn now and then.

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